


Dualism

by BlueTeaParty



Series: Duty Bound [1]
Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Akuze, Alpha!Shepard, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Brain Camp, Canon-Typical Violence, Cerberus - Freeform, Earthborn, Jump Zero, Kissing, M/M, Mass Effect 1, Mentions of PTSD, Non-Traditional Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Omega!Kaidan, Omegaverse, Pheromones, Scenting, Slow Burn, Smut, Sole Survivor (Mass Effect), Thresher Maws, pre-me1
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-11
Updated: 2018-08-16
Packaged: 2018-11-29 21:24:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 21
Words: 57,578
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11449323
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlueTeaParty/pseuds/BlueTeaParty
Summary: Some people think that just being an omega, makes a person weak.Here, in the Alliance, it's different. We value our omegas. One of our omegas is worth more than a hundred of you alpha pups.Here, it is you who must be worthy to fight alongsidethem.Now featuring art in Chapters 1, 13, 14 and 21.





	1. Alpha Training

**Author's Note:**

> So I love my ABO fics but a trope I noticed was omega's lying about their status in order to be a part of the military (even though they were clearly capable). And so that got me thinking on how an omega could be useful in the military.
> 
> That brought me to this fiction. Military grade omega's in the world of Mass Effect.

The first time John Shepard had met a military trained omega, he was in awe.

It was back when he was still a trainee, barely past 18. Newly joined Alliance grunt, going through the motions of basic training. It was tedious and repetitive, most of it designed to rid him of bad habits gleaned from his not-so-distant days in the Tenth Street Reds.

Now, John knew the basics of street fighting thanks to the gang and turf wars, but that didn’t tend to help him much when wrestling with the other recruits. The gang and self-taught techniques usually had some weakness to them and dirty tactics would only earn punishment.

He also knew how to intimidate someone with a gun. Didn’t help when firing on the range and aiming to be precise.

Gang life had corroded his reading skills and his hands ached when typing. Didn’t help when studying, especially when it took him three times as long to read the text as the other recruits around him.

Here there were no dirty tricks to get him out of a tough spot, no cheating on the reading and writing, and there was no way his instructors would accept anything less than perfect form when aiming his gun.

The military grade suppressants made him irritable as they messed with his hormones and ability to produce pheromones, his ability to scent seemingly lessening by the day. The base nurse had already checked him over, assuring him that the hormonal implant was working properly, that it was nothing to worry about and that his body would soon adjust. It was like losing a limb, like his nose was being cemented shut. He knew logically that the other recruits had to be feeling the same way but the alpha pissing contests didn’t seem to lessen at the same rate that the pheromones did.

The supervising officers did their best to channel their young alpha aggression more productively, training them to the bone. Each night they were all exhausted, no energy left to challenge each other for the position of the pack alpha.

There were more than a few moments when he questioned whether it was worth it. Whether _he_ was worth it. The thought of crawling on his belly back to the Reds kept him motivated enough to at least try to succeed. At the very least, Shepard thought irritably, he could be a grunt soldier, and that would be enough to keep him off the shithole that was earth. Though he did wonder, had he run from just one crappy life to another?

Then came the day that Shepard finally found his purpose.

It started just like any other day in the training hell that Shepard had volunteered for. They had risen at some godforsaken hour to jog and after breakfast, they had been assigned to the gym.

It was through the middle of his workout that the commanding alpha snarled and gave them marching orders to present themselves for inspection.

Following orders briskly, the trainees lined themselves up as their commanding officer walked the line.

“Listen up,” the alpha all but snarled, “today we have something new for you grunts. Training designed to help you serve in a proper Alliance unit.”

The platoon sergeant kept on speaking, but an enticingly sweet scent had caught his attention and he knew, even without looking, that he wasn’t the only one. A man approached their line-up and waited patiently behind the commanding officer. He was dressed in Alliance blues, relaxed at parade rest.

“Most of you have not seen or scented a whiff of an omega since you came here. Your suppressants have now been deemed sufficient in your systems to allow you access to one of our Military Omegas.”

John found himself not paying attention to the commanding officer; the omega behind his commanding officer had his full attention. The man was beautiful, as all omegas tended to be; but unlike any other omega Shepard had ever met, this man radiated _control_ , his stance screaming dominant alpha. Everything that he had learnt from his days in the gang about omegas seemed to turn to dust before his eyes.

Alpha instincts, still hard to control at this point, had him puffing his chest, straightening his back, doing his best to look intimidating. Every instinct in his body screamed at him to dominate the man standing in front of him. If he had been able to see it from the outside, he would have noticed that all the alpha recruits were doing much the same thing. As it was, a few older officers kept their snickering to themselves, poorly disguised behind raised hands. More than a few older recruits had come down to watch the FNG’s be introduced to their first military omega. It was a ritual that they all went through, and to see so many young bristling alphas was always amusing. The newbie betas instinctively shirked from the domination display from the alphas among them, but the ranking omega gave no indication that he was even slightly intimidated. In fact, the omega almost looked bored.

A snarl from the commanding alpha officer broke through the display.

“We’ll be numbering you off to spar individually. This will show you the standard of what we expect in the Alliance.”

Naturally, when it was his turn to spar, Shepard got his ass handed to him. Over and over again, Shepard found himself on his back, on his stomach, his arm twisted in a painful grip, the omega forcing him to _submit_. That rankled. It didn’t matter to him that the man was a highly trained professional, that the same thing had happened with the other alpha recruits. No, it was because the man was an omega.

Shepard had presented early as an alpha. It had earnt him respect in the Reds, and he had quickly climbed the ranks. Even amongst the other alphas, he had a reputation for being incredibly dominant. The gang’s Betas tended to give him a wide berth, and the Omegas had outright quaked at his scent. To be the one on the ground, the one who had to kneel to the superior, festered at him. He could feel an alpha rage building, but each time Shepard thought it would reach its peak, the omega would produce pheromones that forcibly calmed him down. Even that was irritating. Shepard had never known an omega who produce pheromones that strongly.

The end of the training session produced several pouting alphas (not that they would admit it) and more than a few officers laughing at the subdued alpha grunts. As the recruits moved back into the lineup, the platoon sergeant addressed them.

“Some people think that just being an omega makes a person weak.” The sergeant moved down the line, staring into each alpha’s eye, daring them to argue.

“Some people think that just being an omega, means that a person has to have somehow earned it to be _worthy_ , to be noticed.” Shepard felt a flash of annoyance; omegas weren’t worthy of an alpha if all they did was snivel and submit.

“Here in the Alliance, its different. We value our omegas. One of our omegas is worth more than a hundred of you alpha pups.”

At once, a soothing scent seemed to come over the training field. Shepard felt his rage cool and his body relax. Around him, every alpha trainee visibly relaxed and inhaled. The omega smirked and the beta trainees also relaxed.

“Never mistake the omega’s silence for a weakness. Any Alliance omega could make you submit with little effort.” Shepard’s eyes widened, an epiphany of sorts hitting him.

“Here, it is _you_ who must be worthy to fight alongside them.”

The commander continued to bark orders at them, but to Shepard the exercise had been a revelation of sorts. He knew then, beyond a doubt of anything in his life, that one day he would be in command of his own ship, and that he would be worthy to serve alongside such an exceptional human being.

Never before had Shepard been so certain of anything in his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank-you to [sparkly_butthole](http://archiveofourown.org/users/sparkly_butthole/pseuds/sparkly_butthole) for being my beta for this chapter! Go read their Mass Effect fanfiction if you haven't already! Its fantastic :D
> 
> And the lovely artwork above is from [swimmingtrunks](https://swimmingtrunks.tumblr.com/) whom I commissioned and was AWESOME!


	2. Presenting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A glimpse into Kaidan's life pre-Brain Camp.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for non-explicit underage coming of age. Kaidan is about 16 years old in this chapter.

Kaidan Alenko was a rambunctious child. Lively and spirited, he played loud and hard with the other children. He’d developed quickly and so was always one of the largest children in his playgroups and later school classes.

The adults around him told him how he was obviously going to be an alpha and taught him how to be strong. To stand up for others. To be protective of weaker omegas. To guide inferior betas into their proper place. For as long as he could remember, he knew what his place in the world was going to be.

When he reached his teenage years, Kaidan watched as classmates around him disappeared for a few days, then reappeared with new scents, as seemingly new people. He waited for his turn, for the confirmation of his status.

But, of course, as the universe would have it, that’s not what happened.

\---

Kaidan had awoken that fateful day feeling like shit. He’d swung his legs over the bed, pausing at the feeling of irritability rushing over him. Brow furrowing, Kaidan tried to contemplate what the problem was, but he found it hard to think. He made a motion to stand, but groaned as a pulse of dizziness prevented him. Moaning slightly and lying down, a small heat began pulsing in his belly. He lay there and just tried to breathe through his too dry mouth. WIth a groan he managed to somehow drag himself out of bed and to the shower. Cool water momentarily eased his fever but the cramping in his guts seemed to worsen. Staggering back to his bedroom, he collapsed onto the bed.

His mother had knocked at the door, asking if he was all right. At his permission, she had opened the door and gasped a little as his scent hit her. She smiled at her son and smoothed back the hair that had fallen over his eyes.

“Don’t stress, darling,” she whispered. “It’s your presentation heat. I’ll bring up some water and call for a doctor to see you through it.” Kaidan barely managed to nod; it was hard to understand words when his insides felt like they were rearranging themselves.

True to her word, she quickly sourced the water and left her son alone to curl up into himself.  
Kaidan groaned and finally, once the door was closed, shucked his pyjamas off. Everything made him irritable; even the bedsheets were beginning to feel too rough. He groaned as a pang of pain throbbed through his belly, and he bared his teeth as it churned. He hoped that the fever would break soon.

Sleeping fitfully, the fever burned brightly and Kaidan only remembered brief, hazy spells of lucidness. He vaguely remembered the doctor hydrating him and checking him over semi-frequently.

There was just never a comfortable position. His skin itched and he felt constantly damp. Sleep sporadically came and went. The fever continued to burn as his body changed.

\---

It was morning. Kaidan blearily blinked at the offending sunlight that filtered through the blinds. He was in bed, the covers in a heap on the floor. Absently he realised he was naked and his throat was dry. He needed water, lots of it, but he didn’t really want to move. Lying lethargically in bed, he groaned as he stretched out his sore muscles.

He stopped suddenly at the feeling of slickness covering the inside of his thighs. Mortified, he thought he had soiled himself, but a quick inspection revealed the substance to be clear. _What the f…oh shit._

Kaidan felt himself begin to panic. The fever, the incessant stomach cramps… _No…I can’t be…_ He felt like he was going to be sick, his brain trying to process the ramifications of his presentation fever. Blankly looking at the sheets, he noted that they were wet beyond what a sweat could produce. His hand dipped lower, his mind running a million miles per hour while somehow strangely blank, and found his arse again. He was wet. He was fucking _wet!_

No.

Growing hot with shame, Kaidan didn’t notice that he was breathing strangely. His chest clenched hard. He felt as if someone had punched him in the gut.

He had presented, and he had presented as an omega.

Unbeknownst to him, his bedroom door opened, his father having scented an omega in distress.

“Kaidan? Are you alright?! You don’t smell right…”

Whipping his head up at the words, a wave of terror mixed with disgust filled him. He could clearly detect the scent from his father. His father was ashamed, _ashamed_ of him…fuck, what was he gonna do?

His father shook his head and said, “I’ll get the doctor. Stay right there, boy.”

Kaidan felt the power of the alpha command, felt the momentary helplessness that shot through his body. Flopping back onto the bed was disgusting, but it allowed him the opportunity to hide under the sheets. Was this how it was going to be from now on?

The doctor entered the room, sniffing as he did a full check over of Kaidan’s body.

“Congratulations, your boy is an omega. I’ll just check him over for any injuries.”

The doctor reached for his throat and, by pure instinct, Kaidan turned his head, throat bared towards the older authority. Kaidan slightly growled at himself; the instinct to submit had been unexpectedly strong and he found himself disgusted by it.

“My son is not…he cannot be an…an omega!” Kaidan could hear the disbelief in his father’s voice. It only served to fuel his panic. “There hasn’t been an Alenko omega since…!”

His mother cut him off, her hand gently resting on her husband’s chest. “Are…are you sure he’s an omega, doctor?”

The doctor leaned over, tapping Kaidan’s shoulder in a silent request to sit up. Once he was upright, the doctor grabbed the nape of his neck and squeezed lightly. Kaidan mewled, short and sharp as he felt his body involuntarily go limp, trying to push back at the beta holding him. Feeling vaguely thankful that his panic was subsiding somewhat, he was still mortified that he could be subdued so easily.

Releasing him, the doctor blandly stated, “Fairly sure he’s an omega, yes.”

A short sob erupted from Kaidan, the panic returning in full force. Curling into himself, he felt a sudden flare of despair at hearing his secondary sex confirmed.

His father abruptly sighed, realising that his agitated hormones weren’t helping his son. He sat on the bed with Kaidan, uncertain at first, but then firmly placed his hand on his son’s head. Lightly brushing the dark hair, he waited for the sharp sobs to subside. The doctor seized the opportunity to leave and waited outside the door. Unfortunately, Kaidan could still hear everything.

“An omega…I never imagined,” his mum’s voice cracked. His mother was grieving for him.  
Kaidan found himself whimpering. But his father crooned and it felt comforting, calming. “It can’t get any worse, right?”

“We’ll get through this, Kaidan. I admit it’s a bit of a…shock, but you’re still our son.”

Kaidan suddenly reared up and pushed his father away. “I did everything right,” he spat. “Why me?!” As quickly as the anger came, it dissipated, leaving him sagging against the bed. “I was so sure…”

Nodding, his father stood up. “Come on. At the very least, you need a shower.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank-you for reading. Please tell me what you think :3
> 
> Thank-you to [Arke](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Arke/pseuds/Arke) for being my beta! Go read their Mass Effect fanfiction if you haven't already! Its fantastic :D


	3. Akuze

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to Akuze.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for gore in this chapter.

The colony was silent. Eerily silent. Akuze was like a tomb. First Lieutenant Shepard found himself shuddering at the description. His unit was here to investigate why the colony had gone silent, the pioneer team hadn’t reported in for nearly a week.

Quickly, the unit searched the surrounding area. The buildings in the colony had little structural damage. What was concerning was that the colony looked almost completely operational, food on some tables, terminals left on, some automatic systems still in action. Only the living quarters were damaged; walls torn down and metal supports twisted. Still no bodies, no people at all. The last report from the colony had mentioned persistent minor tremors but the damage here was not consistent with an earthquake.

Initial recon finished, the squad was ordered to establish camp for the night. Shepard oversaw the establishment of the camp, set away from the colony for safety, and established the roster for the watch shifts.

The first tremor came almost unnoticed, late in the night. Shepard felt the tremors through the bottom of the chair, looking behind him thinking that someone was kicking his seat. Of course, there was nobody, who would be stupid enough to kick an officer’s chair? Most of the company was asleep by now, he was only awake to write the mandatory report. The eerie feeling of the ground subtly shifting beneath his feet soon stopped and Shepard went back to work.

A second rumble soon coursed through the ground, this one strong enough to rattle the small desk in his tent. Following his gut feeling, Shepard stashed his datapad away and grabbed his gun. Leaving the tent, Shepard surveyed the open land. It remained even and unmoving. The stars twinkled in the peace of the night. Looking over the camp told him only what he already knew; that everyone except the night patrol was asleep. Sighing, he readied himself to sleep like he should have done a few hours ago.

The third quake almost shook him from his feet. Catching himself he looked up in time to see the ground _ripple_ and then…chaos.

The ground erupted in front of the camp, rocks crumbling in the wake of the massive bulk emerging from beneath it. The bulk of the colossal creature heaved itself onto the ground in front of it, squishing the tents and men beneath it. Levering more of its immense body from beneath the ground, the giant monster screeched its arrival. The tentacled bulk landed on squarely on top of several tents, flattening the soldiers within.

Shepard’s eyes widened as he took in the creature before them. The body reminded him of a centipede, its massive maw was a brilliant blue and it searched the ground with massive scythes. The temporary building towards the side of the campsite had no hope to survive the gigantic assault; the creature crushed it effortlessly.

“Soldiers! We need to move!” Alpha aggression pheromones flooded his senses, the smoky scent igniting his own hostility. Though this was only a reconnaissance mission, there was no heavy weaponry here. In word, they were fucked.

Most of the soldiers scattered in its wake, a few of the alpha soldiers were beyond orders however. Their smoky scents sang their rage and they lobbed grenades across the field. The alphas roared their displeasure as the grenades detonated almost harmlessly across the creature’s carapace. It screeched in its eerie manner and _dived_ beneath the ground again.

“What the fuck!?”

Shepard watched its movements, the ground parting before it like butter. It swam beneath the larger group of soldiers before re-emerging above the ground’s surface, sending the men flying in all directions. The bright blue tentacle plucked a soldier from the ground as if he weighed nothing, the acid upon the tentacle quickly dissolving the man’s flesh. His cries were unholy as the bottom half of his body melted away. A flick from the tentacle threw the man’s torso to the ground where the soldier’s eyes stared unseeing into Shepard’s own. The rancid, metallic smell of alpha fear permeated his senses and Shepard found himself unable to focus on anything else but the ruined carcass in front of him. His stomach heaved and he emptied its contents on the dirt in front of him.

The thresher maw screeched its profane victory, spitting a line of acid at the retreating marines. Two marines were caught in the middle of the flow, their bodies writhing as they dissolved. Shepard was horrified to see that the misshapen mush of bodies was still walking, even as they melted, finally collapsing when their bones became too pliant to support them. One of the other marine’s arms had been caught in the flow and their cries turned horrific as the lower half liquefied off their body.

A sweep of the scythe-like arms made short work of another section of the unit, easy targets for the spray of acid. Biotic and conventional shielding proved to be no match for the incoming acid, passing through the shields like they were made of paper.

A hand grabbed Shepard’s forearm, yanking him upwards. His legs didn’t support him and he staggered along as the other dragged him away from the maw. His mind was still caught in the horror behind him.

A sweet citrus scent broke him from his shock. Shaking off the terror that was permeating his body, he found he was being hauled along by the unit’s Omega Officer, Corporal Toombs.  
Growling, Shepard wrenched his arm from the Corporal’s grip.

“Finally, one of you came to your bloody senses,” Toombs growled. He hauled Shepard and himself behind a boulder for the temporary cover it provided.

“I’ve got to help them!” Shepard went to stand out of cover but the omega tugged him down harshly.

“Not gonna happen Lieutenant. We need to move, make sure that someone gets out of here! Or the same thing is going to happen to some other poor fuckers.”

The citrus scent faded from the omega, replaced by soothing vanilla. Shepard felt his resolve to fight crumble from the pheromones flooding his system.

“What the hell is that thing?!”

“A thresher maw,” replied Toombs, looking as grim as his namesake. “We don’t stand a chance Lieutenant.”

Emphasising his statement, a twisted corpse thudded from where the monster had thrown it, its helmet melted into what was left of its face.

“We need to get to the landing zone! Come on!”

Staggering out of cover, they ran together towards the LZ, praying to whatever gods would listen that they could make it.

Unholy screeching followed their movements, now coming from multiple angles.

“There’s more than one of the fuckers!”

“Just keep moving! The LZ is barely a klick away!”

Shepard and Toombs kept running, dust from the thresher maw attack ironically shielding their movements. Both were desperate but the pheromones from the omega kept Shepard’s mind clear.

The shuttle was finally in sight and Shepard let out a whoop of victory; a short crack of a thresher maw tentacle swiftly spoiled it. The limb cleaved a deep gorge between him and the Corporal, the flicks of acid burning brightly into the soil.

Toombs motioned him to continue running, “Keep moving Lieutenant! You can still make it!”

“Not without you Corporal!”

“I’m sorry Shepard but I’m not leaving without my alpha.”

Pheromones flooded Shepard’s system, the will to protect the omega replaced with the need to run. His legs were already moving before his brain caught up. Cursing under his breath, he looked behind him to try to catch the omega but the other man was already gone.

Indecision warred briefly but the roar of a thresher maw made his decision for him. Running towards the landing zone, he made it onto the shuttle. Firing it up, Shepard desperately hoped to rescue some of the squad by himself. He scanned for life forms, trying to deny what he already knew.

The entire unit was dead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank-you to [bardofheartdive](http://archiveofourown.org/users/BardofHeartDive/pseuds/BardofHeartDive) for betaing this chapter! Go read their Mass Effect fanfiction. So damn GOOD!
> 
> \---
> 
> Also a note regarding rankings; I am aware that normally a Lieutenant outranks a Corporal. In my omegaverse an Omega Officer is given certain regs outside of their rank. Plus I just wanted to start showing what a military-trained omega can do in combat :)


	4. BAaT

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kaidan endures the horror that is Brain Camp.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all I just want to thank everyone who is reviewing on this fic. I never dreamed that it would get the response it has. You're all wonderful.
> 
> I also want to thank the people who stuck by me and encouraged me to even begin writing it in the first place. I blabbed at so many of you while it was still in the conceptual stages, so thank-you for listening to my rambles :)

The implant itched. Kaidan idly scratched at the back of his neck while looking out the starboard windows aboard Gagarin Station. He could almost imagine that he could feel the tendrils of wires sinking deep into his brain. Sometimes he wanted to reach into the back of his neck to pull it out.

Jump Zero. A relic of humanity’s first journeys into deep space. It had barely been a few months since his presentation fever and he had hardly come to terms with being an omega, now he had to deal with his biotics as well. This time without the comfort of his family.

The suits had come one day after school, shortly after his little ‘incident’. It had been just another day where Kaidan had had to endure the whispers behind him, alphas eyeing him up like he was a piece of meat. He’d finally had enough and snapped, the biotic flare knocking the other student heavily to the ground. Unfortunately, he’d also caught another student in the flare and both had been taken to hospital in a serious condition. Last he had heard, they had been recovering well.

It just wasn’t enough that he had presented as an omega. No, he had to be a biotic freak as well. In one way, it had been a relief to have a method to defend himself, but the total ostracism that occurred after he’d accidently activated the biotics was somehow far worse than then the perverted leers he’d gotten for his secondary sex. Probably didn’t help that he’d been escorted to the hospital under armed guard.

Shuddering, Kaidan remembered the Halcyon Chip that they had attached to the back of his neck. It had kept him in an enforced submission, his omega physiology allowing them to control him. He hoped he never had to wear one of those again. The feeling of being a back-seat driver in his own body was nauseating.

So now he here he was, shipped off to Biotic Acclimation and Temperance Training. The suits had assured his parents that they had the best training facility available for an untrained biotic. Had even fully subsidised the cost of having the surgery for his L2 implant.

“Sure are a long way from nowhere,” he whispered to himself.

“Feels like we’re all alone out here, doesn’t it?”

Startled, Kaidan looked behind him and then smiled, “Rahna. How long have you been standing there?”

The young beta smiled. “Not long. Was looking for you actually.”

“Oh?”

“Yeh, we’re needed in the mess room and we better hurry. Vrynnus sounds pissed.”

“Doesn’t he always?” Kaidan drawled dryly. The turian had had it in for him for ever since he had stepped onto this damned station. “Well guess we better get there before he finds something else to dock from us.”

Vyrnnus was a nightmare. He constantly withheld food. Withheld water. The relentless vinegary scent of fear pheromones that emanated from the students whenever the turian was around, made Kaidan feel irritable. Even the alphas stopped their dominance displays whenever he was in the room. Kaidan wondered what torture that the alien passed off as training would be endured today.

Emerging into the station’s gym, Kaidan suppressed his wince as the acrid pheromones hit his nose. One of the other omegas yelped as the door slid open, looking embarrassed when they saw it was just Rahna and him. The students were already worked up and they were only just assembling. He looked towards the centre of the room, perplexed at the pile of rubble there.

“What the hell?” he murmured, looking at Rahna and finding her just as perplexed. She also looked a little pale. Smiling at her, Kaidan grasped her hand and squeezed it reassuringly.

Finally, Vrynnus arrived. All the talking immediately ceased when the turian entered the room. He didn’t even look at them, just walked nonchalantly towards the pile of rubble in the room. A clawed hand waved them over and the students immediately obeyed. Silently inspecting the students, Kaidan tried not to flinch when that intense gaze landed on him. The mandibles flared slightly in a turian grin but Kaidan held his stance.

“Listen closely, this is today’s assignment.” Pausing, the turian seemed to smirk at them. “I am not happy at your progress, so today we’re going to try something a little different.”

His omni-tool projected an image of a complicated looking building. Kaidan swallowed heavily, scenting that his fellow biotics were just as nervous.

“Each of you will use the blocks to build this.” Vrynnus’ sub-vocals crooned in a way they only did when he was mocking them. Willing himself to be calm, Kaidan studied the diagram in front him. Bloody hell, but it was complicated.

“If you get a piece wrong…we start over,” Vrynnus was circling the students, “A piece falls…we start over.”

Vrynnus stopped behind him and leaned in close to croon in his ear. “Should be easy enough for such _talented_ children.”

Grunting at the effort to hold himself in check, Kaidan forced himself to breathe steadily. Forced himself not to give anything away to the turian bastard. Finally, he moved on.

“Once you are done, and only when you are done, can you have a drink. You will work until you are finished or you have passed out. Do I make myself clear?”

“Yes sir!” the cry was in perfect unison, honed from many sessions together.

As a group, they immediately activated their biotics to try and recreate the insanely detailed hologram. Most of the exercises never let them enjoy the exquisite rush of power and more than a few students had been sent home because they had simply been…broken. No one ever talked about the deaths either, caused by a few experiments that had been run way past their due.

Time became meaningless as their biotics strained to continue lifting the pieces. The younger students began to drop, literally, and they were instructed to leave them where they fell.  
Beside him, Rahna began to falter.

“I can’t…I can’t do it anymore,” she whispered. Seeing her fall to one knee, Kaidan growled at her, not wanting her to face punishment for not completing the task.

“You have to!”

“I can’t!” she moaned and for a split second her biotic field faltered. The piece she was holding began to fall and Kaidan dug deep for the reserves to extend his own field to catch it. He laughed breathily as he succeeded, wincing as the effort caused a new spike of pain from his implant.

“Nice catch,” crooned Vrynnus, carefully watching the two. “But can you do it again?”

Kaidan only barely managed to stop himself growling at the barely veiled threat, willing himself to focus on the biotic creation. There wasn’t too much left to complete in the exercise and then they could rest…

“What’s the matter, cadet?” Vrynnus stepped in close towards Rahna, mandibles flaring slightly. “Are you too tired?” His sub vocals crooned at her predicament.

“Too…thirsty,” she whispered, her biotics flickering as she struggled to focus.

“Oh, I’m sorry.” Vrynnus slowly began to shimmer as he activated his own biotics. Floating a glass of water over to Rahna, he left it just outside of her reach. “Here…take this.”

Rahna’s biotics flared briefly before they dulled again, her gaze locked on the glass in front of her. Kaidan watched with trepidation, willing her to succeed. She flared again but this time was noticeably duller and then they flickered out completely. His eyes widened when he saw her physically reach for the glass.

“Don’t! Rahna!”

“Pathetic!” the turian roared. He flashed brilliant cerulean, beautiful in its terror. Rahna screamed, an anguished gut-wrenching sound that tore into his very soul. Without thinking, his own biotics activated, the azure power slamming into Vrynnus, knocking him to the ground.  
Turning to stand in front of Rahna, Kaidan growled at the felled turian, challenging him. Rahna gasped, her pheromones turning acidic as she cradled her ruined arm.

Vrynnus picked himself off the floor and his eyes narrowed at the enraged biotic.

“You think you can win _boy_?” he taunted. Screeching, the alien launched himself at Kaidan.

Kaidan managed to avoid the turian’s first blow but the second landed squarely on his face, splitting his lip open. Growling, he staggered back, wiping the blood from his mouth.

“You’ve got some skill boy,” Vyrnnus growled out. “Now let’s see if you can _use_ it!”

Kaidan snarled at the turian, body lighting up with bright blue biotics. Ignoring the shocked whimpers from their audience and the acidic fear pheromones that permeated throughout his system, Kaidan focussed. Never had he used his powers in this way before, he had been too careful to keep his true skills secret. He felt his biotics sing to him in a way that had never happened before, washing the effects of the fear pheromones from his mind. He centred that power into his body, feeling strong for the first time since he had presented. With a harsh growl, he launched himself at Vrynnus, feeling the biotic power escape and crash into the other's body. Felt the other’s body shatter beneath his, like a fragile china vase. Though fragile was not a word he would use to describe the carapace before him now.

The gym was silent.

His mind was silent though his body heaved with exertion.

“You killed him,” whispered Rahna, her broken arm dangling uselessly at her side.

“Are you…are you alight?” Kaidan made to move towards her, to help her off the floor but was shocked when she whimpered, acidic fear burning his mind.

“R-rahna? Please…”

A sob escaped from her lips and the sound triggered the movement of students behind him.

Rooted in place, Kaidan could only watch as other students rushed to her aid.

Rough hands shook his shoulders and Kaidan growled at the instructors behind him, surprising himself. It took him a while to notice that he was growling, took him a while to notice that they were trying to speak with him. Alpha pheromones finally forced him to listen and he followed their directions, walking away from the crumpled body that was once a turian.

\---

“I just want to say goodbye.” The alpha escort nodded at Rahna and released Kaidan’s nape from the Halcyon Chip, freeing him from the enforced submission. He shook his head, trying to clear the fogginess from his mind.

“Rahna?” He made to walk towards her but stopped when she shook her head.

“I just wanted to make sure you were all right.”

“Alright?!” he snarled at her, anger welling up from deep within his core. “How can I be alright after everything that’s happened?!”

“Get a hold of yourself Kaidan! You’re an omega, act like one.”

“Act like one!?” Once more, his body lit up in a brilliant blue display. Rahna stepped back as Kaidan’s biotic flare however, swept harmlessly over her. “Everybody thinks that omegas are weak, that we are just gonna fall on our knees and submit to the first alpha that snarls at us Rahna! Fuck…” Kaidan breathed in deeply, looking at his trembling fist. “I just can’t stand the idea of someone making me their object to own!”

Closing his eyes, he willed the rage to leave him. Once he felt calm enough, he looked over at Rahna. She looked so scared. Scared of _him_. The sight drained him.

“I was so afraid when I presented Rahna,” he whispered, desperately scared he was going to lose her. “Everybody expected me to be an alpha, presenting as an omega was the last thing anyone expected from me. Then these fucking biotics happened. You were the first person to look at me like I wasn’t some kind…some kind of freak!”

“But you are an omega. You can’t run from that, just as you can’t run from this. You _killed_ him Kaidan.”

The rage welled up again without warning. “He deserved it! I couldn’t just _let_ him…”

Rahna held up her unbound arm to placate him. “I know Kaidan. You can’t make that right though. He’s dead. I’m sorry Kaidan, you…you frighten me.”

Defeated, Kaidan let his arms hang by his sides, the rage abruptly leaving, left him feeling drained. The biotic glow dropped off completely.

“Goodbye Kaidan. I wish you happiness.” Then she walked out of Kaidan’s life.

The fight drained out of him as he watched her leave. Then one of the alpha escorts clasped the back of his neck, reattaching the chip and his body involuntarily relaxed, once more submissive.

The escort led him to the shuttle and away from this nightmare.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank-you to [BardofHeartDive](http://archiveofourown.org/users/BardofHeartDive/pseuds/BardofHeartDive) who beta-read this piece. Go read their stuff, its great :D
> 
> Next chapter is finally on board the Normandy!


	5. Pre-boarding Checks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shepard checks up on the crew for the Normandy. A corporal's suppressants aren't quite working as they should.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I said the next chapter was going to be on the Normandy. 
> 
> I lied. 
> 
> It's the day before boarding xD

It was the end of the day shift aboard Arcturus Station, with tomorrow marking the Normandy SR1’s maiden voyage. John Shepard was still awake and going through the dossiers of his new crew. One stood out and Shepard had read it multiple times already.

Shepard had served with military omegas before but the Omega Officer aboard the Normandy was a rare specimen. Military-graded omega, powerful biotic, tech expert AND high-grade medic training? He seemed too good to be true. No wonder Anderson had picked him for the Normandy. Shepard tried to keep telling himself that it was only the omega’s exceptional service record and biotic abilities that made him excited to work with Alenko but it was hard. Snorting into his coffee, Shepard thought back to the meeting earlier today.

_At 0800 sharp he had stepped into the Communication Room. Saluting Captain Anderson, he turned to the officers in front of him. Introductions were made; Navigator Pressly; beta, Flight Lieutenant Moreau; beta, Chief Medical Officer Chakwas; alpha, Lieutenant Adams; alpha and…_

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_“Commander, meet Staff-Lieutenant Alenko.”_

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_Alenko saluted at the introduction, easily meeting the Commander’s eyes. “An honour to be working with you, Commander.”_

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_The salute gave Shepard an opportunity to spot the Omega insignia upon the lieutenant’s uniform. Considering how easily the man projected being an alpha, he was actually a little startled to see it._

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_Anderson saw where his gaze fell but didn’t give Shepard the opportunity to comment. “The lieutenant is the Normandy’s Omega Officer, sentinel class and the head of marine detail. I’ll be forwarding you his dossier, as Alenko will be part of the ground team with you.”_

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_Nodding thoughtfully, Shepard considered the man in front of him. The captain seemed to have chosen well; each warship only had one or two omegas, and to have one as a sentinel was a boded well._

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_Moving on, Anderson caught Shepard’s eye, “Both Adams and Alenko served on the SSV Tokyo under me. I was able to secure their transfers to the Normandy. Quite frankly, we’re lucky to have them aboard.”_

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_“Thank you sir.”_

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_“Excellent. That’s our introductions finished. Our destination will be Eden Prime. Spectre Nihlus Kryik will be accompanying us on the shake-down run. He should be arriving at the station soon.”_

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_Eyeing Anderson off, Shepard frowned. “They don’t send Spectres on shake-down runs.”_

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_“Yeah, there’s more going on here than a simple mission. What aren’t you telling us Captain?”_

_“Classified for the moment, Flight Lieutenant. We will be briefed closer to the destination. If there are no further questions, then you are dismissed.” Turning to Shepard, the alpha directly addressed him. “Shepard, I have a few extra details that you need to know before we head out.”_

_The alpha captain waited patiently for the other officers to vacate the Com Room before addressing Shepard._

_“You probably already noticed but the Lieutenant is still unbonded. Alliance HQ is hoping that Alenko will accept a bond offer from an Alpha Officer on board the Normandy.”_

_“Well considering you hand-picked the crew, I’m sure there will be a worthy officer among us.”_

_Anderson smiled. “Just remember, it’s the omega who picks the alpha.”_

A snarl broke through the quiet of the station, breaking his reminiscence. Shepard’s head snapped up at the sound penetrating the silence, nostrils flaring as he took in the scents spreading throughout the deck. Rushing down the stairs to the mess hall, he was greeted with a sight he never thought possible; Kaidan and a corporal circling each other. The corporal was snarling, teeth bared; Kaidan almost looked bored, staring the alpha in the eye, a clear challenge to the hormone-addled alpha.

The corporal must be a green recruit to an Alliance ship, the first time to serve with an Omega Officer, too cocksure by half. Kaidan might be an omega but he was military grade, put through his paces and approved for active duty. The young alpha must either be a complete idiot or not in control of his hormones yet. Shepard gathered that he was probably an idiot and relaxed against the wall, eager to watch the ensuing dance for dominance. Kaidan would have never have made it to the rank of lieutenant if he was a pushover.

The corporal flared his scent and ran towards Alenko, snarling something incomprehensible about omegas. Kaidan seemed almost relaxed in his movements and Shepard found himself impressed. The number of alpha pheromones in the air would have had most omega’s shivering and prostrating themselves in submission; not Kaidan. His entire body language screamed an alpha in control, even if his scent did not. Shepard grinned as Kaidan easily stepped to the side, avoiding the alpha’s clumsy attack and flipped him onto his front. A knee in the smaller back and a twist to the arm held the alpha down. Kaidan pushed down on the corporal’s neck subduing him effectively. The alpha struggled, not wanting to lose dominance but it only made Kaidan hold him down harder. The movements were smooth and Shepard found his inner alpha responding to the beautiful display of dominance in front of him. He ruthlessly squashed the urge to jump on the lieutenant himself.

Soon, the struggle ceased, the alpha surrendering control and submitting. The scent in the mess changed, becoming subdued and Kaidan nodded, getting off the back of the defeated alpha.

Shepard decided it was time to finally step in. “Corporal!” he barked.

The alpha twitched and turned around slowly, his face bright red in humiliation. “Report to the med bay for auxillary suppressants. I expect your presence at 0600 for discipline. Understood soldier?”

The alpha, face still red, snapped a salute and walked off, head down and metaphorical tail between his legs.

Shepard stared him down as he slunk away and then turned his attention to Kaidan. He smiled at the stance, the omega projecting an alpha in cool control and sure of his actions.

“Well, I have to admit that was impressive lieutenant.”

Kaidan visibly relaxed and nodded. “Thank you, commander and…thank you for not stepping in.”

“It’s regulation that you’re allowed to establish dominance Kaidan, especially over lower ranking alphas. The Alliance wouldn’t send me a green omega, not for the Normandy at least.”

“Still, it’s appreciated Sir. Even being military graded, some alphas don’t appreciate, or can’t appreciate an omega in a higher-ranking position. They still feel the need to…to put an omega in their place.”

Shepard smiled, “I’m not like the other alphas Alenko. You don’t have to worry about that kind of posturing with me.” Briefly eyeing the scar bisecting the lieutenant's lips, he added, “I know you’re fully capable.”

Kaidan nodded, “I’m starting to see that Commander.”

“Give me a full report before 0800 tomorrow lieutenant.”

“Is there a problem here Commander?”

Turing around revealed the turian spectre, Nihlus standing behind them.

“Not at all Spectre. The lieutenant has acted within his rights.”

“As long as it doesn’t affect the crew,” Nihlus nodded. “And I hope, your performance in the field.”

“Of course, not Sir.”

Mandibles stretching, Nihlus seemed to accept it. “Then I wish you well Commander. Lieutenant. I will see you on board the Normandy in the early morning. Good night.”

Watching Nihlus walk away reignited the feeling of unease from the morning briefing. Something about the turian made his hackles rise though he couldn’t quite put his finger on it. Pondering it further, Shepard stopped as the smell of sweet lemon began to make itself noticeable.

Blinking he turned to Alenko, having momentarily forgotten that Kaidan was there. “Am I that obvious Lieutenant?”

The omega merely smiled, “Just doing my job sir. I’ll see you in the morning with that report.”

Nodding, Shepard dismissed the lieutenant but continued to watch him as he made his way through the mess hall. Once he was out of sight, Shepard retreated to his own quarters; there was more dossiers to read and mission briefs that needed handling. Still, his mind lingered on the omega, his calm demeanour and confidence...the way his body moved. Sighing, he firmly pushed those thoughts away and Shepard got back to work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank-you to [BardofHeartDive](http://archiveofourown.org/users/BardofHeartDive/pseuds/BardofHeartDive) who beta-read this piece. Go read their stuff, its great :D


	6. Eden Prime

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eden Prime is a shit storm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was _hard_. I wanted to avoid just simply retelling the game. Hope that I succeeded  <3

Suiting up with Jenkins made Kaidan laugh. He seemed a good kid, eager to prove himself on the battlefield like any alpha would be but still respectful of Kaidan, not only as a superior officer but as an omega.

Before boarding the Normandy, Jenkins had cornered Kaidan in the Arcturus Station’s gym and had practically begged Kaidan to do a demonstration with his biotics; not something that he would normally do but he found himself not being able to resist the corporal’s enthusiasm. Such positivity regarding human biotics was rather rare anyway. Jenkins had gotten a little too close to a singularity and Kaidan had been unable to pull him out of the way due to having just thrown a warp. The resulting explosion, though small in comparison to what he could produce in the field, was enough to send Jenkins spiralling into the other end of the gym.

Kaidan had muttered an “oh shit” before rushing towards the prone body, readying his supply of medi-gel. He needn’t have bothered.

Jenkins suddenly jumped up, huge grin on his face, fist pumping the air. “That was awesome! Woo!” Good-naturedly hitting Kaidan on the back, Jenkins continued walking out of the gym. “You’re a fucking bad ass lieutenant! I’m glad you’re on our side.”

Shaking his head, Kaidan brought himself back to present. The captain was there giving them their final briefing before they moved out on Eden Prime. Footage of the attack had been shared with the team, so they knew what to expect.

“Your team in the muscle in this operation commander. Go in heavy and head straight for the beacon.”

Frowning, Kaidan considered the orders. “What about survivors Captain?”

“Negative, helping survivors is a secondary objective,” Anderson shook his head. “You’ve got to get to that beacon ASAP.”

Nihlus turned to Shepard, mandibles flared slightly, “Prove yourself here, and two spectres will be bringing this beacon back to the council.”

Kaidan and Jenkins looked at each other in shock.

“But, there’s never been a human spectre…”

“So don’t mess this up. Catch you on the other side.” The cargo bay hatch opened and they watched Nihlus leave at the first drop point.

“Spectre huh?” Kaidan rasped, catching the commander’s eye.

Shepard looked grim. “I didn’t want to mention it but that’s why Nihlus was on the Normandy. At least he’ll come in handy now.”

Nodding Kaidan scented the two alphas with him, gauging their current mindsets. Jenkins was a little worried and already a little heated, not surprising considering Eden Prime was his home planet. Shepard just seemed pensive, no sign of any alpha aggression.

“Radio silence will be required on this mission soldiers,” Anderson added as he watched the turian exit. “Nihlus will radio in reports however.”

Acknowledging the order, Shepard waved them out of the belly of the Normandy.

The planet was red. Even though they’d read the reports, seeing the vast destruction was something else. The acrid smell of scorched earth assaulted their senses, tears forming from the strength of it. Jenkins’ scent turned sharp, matching the burnt land. Responding quickly, Kaidan let his own pheromones soothe the alpha, helping him to redirect the aggression into something useful. The corporal sent him a grateful grin.

Nihlus’ voice cackled briefly over the radio. “This place got hit hard commander, lots of casualties. Keep your guard up.”

Nodding, Shepard raised a fist to signal a halt. Signalling Jenkins to move up, Kaidan and Shepard went into cover; caution was the name of the game here. The area ahead was perfect for an ambush.

Carefully, the young alpha moved to take point, taking cover in front. Kaidan scanned the area, his omni-tool reporting no life signs in the immediate area. Shepard waved Jenkins forward and he moved out of cover.

His body jerked like a puppet that had its strings cut, as the first of the pulses hit him. Time slowed as Kaidan watched the corporal’s head snap back, his shields no match for the concentrated fire. His mouth opened in a silent scream and he fell the ground unmoving.

Dismay danced through Kaidan’s body as he aimed a biotic warp at the first of the drones. Quickly he squashed that emotion; he didn’t need to distract Shepard with unnecessary pheromones. As his biotics cooled down, he made sure he was projecting an aura of calm confidence, aiming carefully with his pistol. Shepard countered with an Overload and together the drones were taken out quickly. Kaidan found himself impressed by his alpha Commander’s control and precision. Short bursts of accurate gunfire took care of the rest.

The destroyed machinery barely had time to hit the ground before Kaidan ran out of cover, medical diagnostics up on his omni-tool. Shepard moved more slowly, intuitively knowing that the man was dead.

Scenting the omega’s acidic distress at the medical results confirmed it.

“Ripped right through his shields. He didn’t stand a chance,” Kaidan whispered, reaching out to close the dead marine’s eyes.

Stepping carefully, Shepard knew he needed the lieutenant focussed. “Alenko, there is nothing we can do for him now. We need to reach that beacon.” Marking the location on his omni-tool, Shepard continued, “We’ll come back later to see that he gets a proper service. Right now, you need to be focussed.”

Abruptly, the acrid scent vanished, replaced with sharp metallic focus. Shepard blinked, surprised at how quickly the omega controlled himself.

“Aye aye sir,” Kaidan agreed, there would be time later to grieve for the fallen man.  
Arming himself, the biotic moved on with the commander, this time adjusting his omni-tool to scan for synthetics as well. Further drones were dispatched of quickly, the omni-tool efficient in warning the pair of hostiles.

Then through the smoke and destruction, Kaidan scented the distinct peppery scent of an alpha in distress. “Shit! Shepard, trouble ahead!”

Shepard nodded. Sharp gunfire and the unmistakable sound of synthetic fire grimly danced together. Signalling to move forward, an Alliance soldier ran into their line of sight, two drones hot on their six. Deadly fire rippled around them, shield momentarily flashing bright as it deflected a shot. The soldier reached cover, flinging themselves behind it whilst simultaneously bringing their assault rifle to bare.

Moving into cover themselves, Kaidan quickly tuned his omni-tool to overload the shields of the drones, taking the shields down instantly. Shepard and the soldier took advantage, rifles gunning down the drones before Kaidan even had his pistol back up.

Confirming the immediate area was clear of hostiles, they approached the other soldier. Her scent was strong, broadcasting to anyone who would care that she was an alpha and _pissed_. Kaidan kept himself behind Shepard so he wouldn’t inadvertently provoke an instinctual response. As expected she ignored him completely and addressed the clear alpha in command.

“Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams of the 212. Fuck am I glad to see you. Are you the one in charge?” Abruptly she turned, scenting the area. She growled slightly as she finally spotted Kaidan. “Why the fuck is a defenseless omega here?”

“Stand down Williams. Report on the situation,” Shepard motioned at Kaidan, who acknowledged and backed away slightly, though releasing calming pheromones while he was at it.

“Of course, Sir. It was just routine patrols and guard duties until the geth hit us.” Ashley continued to eye the omega, still looking confused as to why one would be there. “They’re here for that damn beacon I know it.”

“We haven’t seen any geth in years. Why are they here now?” muttered Kaidan.

“Doesn’t matter for now, we just need to get to that beacon.” Shepard was brisk and to the point. “Williams, you seen any turians around here?”

“Yeh just one. Was carrying enough firepower to take out an entire platoon, watched him take down a whole bunch of geth.” Williams was finally relaxing Kaidan noticed. Her anxious scent was lessening significantly, Shepard just needed to keep her talking while the pheromones took effect. He continued walking her away from Kaidan. “Impressive actually. Only spotted him for a second, was a little busy fighting for my life. Seemed to be heading towards the spaceport.”

“We need to catch up, where’s that spaceport?”

Ashley nodded towards the north, “You’ll have to get by the geth. They came from nowhere, blocked our signals, and - ”

She gasped suddenly and took off running.

“Williams!”

Motioning to Kaidan, they followed. The commander frowned, large unnatural spikes coming into view. They looked like something from medieval times.

Ashley wandered over to examine the ghastly sight, morbid curiosity driving her. Circuitry and wires twisted around the bodies, joining them to the spike.

“That’s my crew commander! What did the geth do to them!?”

Acidic fear was permeating the area, Williams beginning to panic. The scent of a scared alpha was rare but powerful and it threatened to overcome them all. Breathing deep to centre himself, Kaidan focussed on blocking out the alpha’s alarm, making sure his own pheromones were counteracting them so Shepard would not be drawn in.

“Wait! Williams don’t go near - ”

Approaching one of the spikes, Ashley gasped as the impaled colonists suddenly lurched as the gruesome spear retracted. Reaching the ground, the azure eyes stared blankly at the triad before jerkily moving to stand.

“Holy fuck,” Shepard muttered as the clearly decayed cadavers _picked themselves up._ The trio stood frozen as the impossible happened. “They’re still alive!”

An inhuman groan came from the staggering husk, the circuitry invading its body lit up bright blue. Attempting to scent the creature, Kaidan shuddered as he found _nothing._

“They don’t smell human Shepard!” Concentrating, Kaidan made sure that his pheromones were allowing the two alphas to focus on the inhuman targets. They made his skin crawl, the unnatural merging of synthetic cables into dead flesh. The lack of blood as their bullets ripped through the lurching bodies was unsettling.

“What are those things?!”

Even as Ashley asked, she was taking aim. She let the omega’s pheromones wash over her, instilling her with intense focus. She’d never had the opportunity to work with an omega before now; she was finding herself impressed at just how well the pheromones were working. Always assuming it to be an exaggeration, she instead felt a perfect calm as she gunned down the colonists turned abominations. Sensing a cohesion with the other two that had been missing from her previous units, the unnatural creatures were dispatched without further incident.

“Fuck, so that’s what it’s like when an omega’s not useless?” Turning to the Commander, she smirked. “Could get used to that.”

“Fall in line Williams,” Shepard snapped, barely suppressing a growl. “I know you’ve just lost your squad but that’s no reason to take it out on my crew.”

To her credit, Ashley looked taken aback. Frowning she studied the biotic, as if trying to figure him out. “Apologies Sir.”

Shepard stared her down, acknowledging when she averted her gaze, the lesser alpha backing down from the prime. “Let’s move on. We still have to get to that damn beacon.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank-you for your comments. They give me life and love ^_^
> 
>  
> 
> Thank-you once again to [BardofHeartDive](http://archiveofourown.org/users/BardofHeartDive/pseuds/BardofHeartDive) who beta-read this piece. They're a darling ^_^
> 
> Holidays are now over and I'm back at work. So don't worry if the updates get less frequent. This fic is currently my baby and I'll still be working on it, just in my significantly lessened spare time heh.


	7. Post Eden Prime

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of Eden Prime.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some minor changes in canon are coming up. Nothing too big though.

Helplessness.

That was not a feeling he was accustomed to.

He remembered someone…some _thing_ screaming. Remembered vivid images infiltrating his mind. Too fast to make sense of. There was chaos. Fear. Pain.

Remembered…

“Doctor! I think he’s waking up!”

Opening his eyes, Shepard moaned as an ache made itself known, centered around his forehead.

Chakwas approached him, already softly crooning to relax him, “Don’t force yourself too much Commander.” She steadied him as he drew himself into a sitting position. “How are you feeling?”

“Nothing I haven’t been put through before Doc.” Blinking away the haze behind his eyes, he let the female alpha’s hum soothe him, chasing out the little aches behind his eyes. A nice little trick. “You don’t need to croon at me doc, I’m fine. How long have I been out?”

“Fifteen hours, give or take. The Captain has already debriefed Alenko and Williams. I imagine he’ll come down here once he knows you’re conscious.” Chakwas smiled, the hum dying off as she decided that he was as okay as he said he was. “You went through a lot down there Commander.”

In a rush, the mission came back to him; _Jenkins, Nihlus, Geth…what a clusterfuck._ He shuddered, remembering the pull of the beacon, the unstoppable force that had pulled him off his feet, pushing Williams out of the way... Holding his head in hands, Shepard closed his eyes tightly to try to block the rapid intake of images, breathing deeply.

“You had us quite worried actually,” Chakwas continued, allowing Shepard his time to process. “Unusual brain waves, increased rapid-eye movement…”

“Yeah that beacon…I saw…I don’t know what I saw Doctor,” Shepard then noticed another presence in the room. Trying to hide themselves. He frowned, “What are you doing Williams?”

“Sorry commander. I just wanted to see that you were okay.” She walked into his line of sight, guilt clear in her scent as she refused to meet his eyes. “It’s my fault that you’re in here. If I hadn’t approached the beacon…”

“Don’t blame yourself Williams. One of us would have had to go near the beacon eventually,” Shepard sighed, rubbing his eyes, and cracking his neck. Looking up he caught the smile she quickly hid, though her scent showed she had taken his words to heart.

“Then in that case, thank you. That…beacon. It was horrifying, I couldn’t react, I could barely move,” Ashley looked right at him. “The beacon exploded after you pushed me out of the way.”

Shepard swore under his breath. That beacon had been the entire reason for the mission and now they couldn’t even claim the deaths had been worth it. Fuck but he hated to lose soldiers under his commands and Jenkins had shown so much potential…

Sensing the change of mood, Ashley saluted. “I’ll go inform Captain Anderson that you’re awake sir.”

Waving her off, Shepard went to push himself off the medical bed to make sure he was standing when Anderson arrived. Frowning, he spotted another body lying in the med bay.

“Alenko! Is he…”

Chakwas raised a hand, placating the commander. “Nothing to worry about Commander. The lieutenant merely strained his implant on the last mission.”

Shepard scowled at the remark, “That does sound like something I should be worried about Doctor.”

“You do know that the Lieutenant is an L2, yes?” she seemed amused.

“What does that have to do with anything?”

“Well the L2 configuration has a long list of potential side-effects, many of them horrific.” She got up to check on the prone man, slightly adjusting the drip attached to his arm. “It’s why most biotics now use the L3 configuration. Kaidan is…fortunate. He only suffers from severe migraines, one of the more minor side-effects.”

Shepard raised an eyebrow, “Severe migraines are minor?”

“For an L2 yes. The major side effects can include severe mental retardation, insanity, complete loss of bodily functions, crippling physical pain…” Chakwas stopped and blinked. Turning to Shepard she smiled. “You don’t need to worry about that Shepard. Rest assured that Alenko will be fully cleared for active duty once the medication wears off.”

Shepard nodded but made a mental note to talk to Kaidan about it later. The side effects of his implant hadn’t been in his dossier and that made him curious. The omega had in fact, impressed the hell out of him during the mission. Alenko had been incredibly adaptive, and showed good initiative; he seemed to instinctively know when to wait for orders and to when take matters into his own hands. He hadn’t overused his pheromones either, recognizing quickly that Williams was unused to working with omegas in a squad. Alenko’s own pheromones had faltered only once and that had been suppressed so quickly it almost had Shepard doubting his own nose for a moment.

Shepard smiled, Anderson had chosen well, though it was hard to doubt such a decorated captain.

As if the thought of the man summoned him, Anderson strode into the medbay, “Shepard, good to see you’re already up. I’ve already debriefed Alenko and Williams.” Straight to the point as always. “I’ve had Williams reassigned to the Normandy. Alenko recommended her and since we lost Jenkins…”

Shepard barely stopped the cringe at hearing Jenkins. He hated losing men, especially since Akuze. Forcing back the memories, he concentrated on the present. “Thankyou sir, she’ll be an excellent addition to the team. She survived hell down there.”

“Speaking of which, tell me what happened.”

“I’m sure Alenko or Williams already told you about the geth sir. It was a mess. Eden Prime was, well for lack of a better term, a shitshow.”

Anderson nodded, agreeing with Shepard’s assessment. “I’ll cut straight to the chase Shepard. Things look bad; Eden Prime was a major loss with that beacon destroyed and a Spectre is dead. The Council is going to want answers.”

Shepard choked back a snarl. “I did my job sir.” Anderson was not the person he needed to be angry with.

“Not questioning that, commander. You’re a damn hero in my books. No.” He shook his head. “The problem is that other Spectre, Saren.”

Shepard frowned; even though the Captain was outwardly composed, his pheromones told a different story; he _hated_ this Saren.

Anderson continued, “Saren is a Spectre, just like Nihlus but his reputation is what worries me. He’s a living legend Shepard, one of their best. He’s dangerous and now even more so. Somehow, he’s allied himself with the geth, not just an impressive feat but an act of war.”

Shepard nodded, their course was clear. “We need to report this to the Council sir.”

“Get your report ready commander. We’ll be arriving at the Citadel soon and we need the Council on our side.”

“Aye aye sir.”

\---

Kaidan awoke sluggishly. Blinking slowly, he took in his surroundings. Thankfully there was no pain, only the constant static that his implant bestowed him. God but he hated how groggy he felt after being medically sedated for one of his migraines.

“Sssh, easy Lieutenant.” Chakwas reached over, readying a syringe. “Hold still Alenko,” she murmured, swiftly injecting the stim into his neck.

He only winced slightly, the stim immediately taking effect and washing the groggy feeling away. Disorientating but he preferred it since the migraine had already taken so much time from him.

“How’s that head of yours? You strained yourself a little out there.”

Fuck. Eden Prime, that’s right. “Feeling decent doc, nothing out of the ordinary.”

Kaidan sighed, remembering the hours before succumbing to a L2 migraine. He’d been in charge of recovering bodies from the planet, a task he would have been able to delegate but it had felt _right_ to bring Jenkins and Nihlus back himself. Before that, he and that other alpha, Williams, had carried the unconscious Commander back to the Normandy and speaking of which…

“The commander…is he alright?”

“Yes lieutenant, he awoke a few hours ago. Been rather busy too, if the scuttlebutt is anything to believe.”

Kaidan raised an eyebrow at that but Chakwas merely smiled and shook her head. “Been in here Lieutenant, taking care of you.”

“I should go report in then.”

“Don’t forget to eat Alenko.” She waved him out, already focussing on her next task.

Kaidan smiled at the reminder but was silently cursing his biotic metabolism. He hated those tasteless protein bars but at least they weren’t so far into the mission that he’d be forced to use the protein goo. Shuddering at the thought, he made his way to the mess hall. Entering the room, he blinked, resisting the urge to rub his eyes as he took in the scene before him.

A krogan was going through the cupboards. Cocking his head, he found himself at a loss for words. The krogan was mumbling to himself about shit food, shifting through the boxes. Was this it? Had his implant finally short-circuited his brain?

Turning, the krogan finally spotted him. It opened a full mouth of teeth, seemingly in a grin when it spotted his perplexed expression. Fuck but that alien was HUGE.

“I see you’ve met one of our newest teammates.”

Kaidan jumped slightly at the commander’s voice, startling him out of his thoughts. Still a bit wide eyed and not willing to turn his back to the massive alien, he stared.

“That’s a krogan, Shepard.”

Said krogan started huffing, seemingly laughing at him. The commander also chuckled a bit.

“Yeah, this is Wrex. Recruited him on the Citadel.” Shepard smirked as Kaidan just blinked in response. “You know, you two would probably get along. Both biotic and all.”

Kaidan just nodded slowly, before turning away from the strange scene in front of him. He decided to sit down before he began hallucinating other aliens on board. He’d barely turned around before almost walking into a turian. The new alien raised his hands, a universal sorry gesture.

“Sorry about that. Just wondering what you guys have in the way of dextro-based food on board…”

Fuck, too late.

A hand clasped his shoulder, providing him something to focus on other than the weird reality he had woken up in. “And that’s Garrus.”

“Commander?”

“Come on lieutenant, let’s get you up to speed, shall we?” Shepard held out a few protein bars as a peace offering. He smelled only amused though.

He heard the two aliens conversing behind him, as Shepard led him to the mess table. Kaidan shakily sat down, chewing absently on one of the protein bars.

Turning to Shepard, he regarded the commander thoughtfully, “What the hell did you get up to while I was out?”

“Stopped by the Citadel to update the Council; had to run a few errands while we were there.” He smiled at Kaidan. “Picked up some new crewmembers.”

“Yeah I saw that. Hell of a wake up call for only being out a few hours. Commander…” Kaidan found himself hesitating but Shepard waved him on. “I’m glad that you’re okay. Losing Jenkins was…was hard. He was a good kid, had a bright career in front of him. Bringing you back unconscious, especially after the beacon exploded…well, I’m just glad we didn’t lose you too.”

“It was pretty rough down there and thank you for getting me back on board. Couldn’t have been an easy task. I was surprised though Alenko, the way Williams looked at and treated you…you gave a recommendation for her to be transferred aboard the Normandy?”

Kaidan smiled, he had been expecting this at some point. “Permission to uh, speak freely commander?”

Shepard nodded, waiting patiently.

“Williams is a good soldier sir, in fact she’s exceptional,” he murmured. “I recognised her last name though. Traditional family and well, uh, rather shit assignments because of that name. I know what it feels like to be discriminated against for something you were born into.” Glancing at Shepard, he noted the commander nodding thoughtfully, taking his words into consideration. “She deserves a chance. You know…she hasn’t ever worked with omegas in the military before?”

“Yeah I gathered as much.” Shepard got up and walked to the coffee machine, fixing himself a cup. “Want one?”

“Sure commander,” Kaidan opened the second protein bar, chewing thoughtfully. “She adapted well though, and combine that with the stress of seeing your entire squad wiped out, well…it didn’t seem fair to turn her skills away sir.”

“So, Alenko, seems like you’ve got a good grasp of the crew.” He smiled, pausing for a moment, his scent giving him away as being amused once more. “Well, the human crew at least. And speaking of that, how do you feel regarding having a krogan, turian, and a quarian on board?”

“We have a quarian on board?” Kaidan couldn’t help the excitement he suddenly felt. Quarians were renowned for their tech expertise, what he could learn from them…he forced himself to focus on the question though. “To be honest Commander, if you say they’re fine, then they’re fine. Never had any problems working with aliens.”

Shepard smiled, the citrus scent from the omega telling him the other was excited, though he was obviously trying to hide it. His dossier did say that he was interested in tech warfare.

“You a career man?” he asked, placing the fresh cups of coffee on the table, before taking a seat next to the lieutenant. Kaidan raised an eyebrow and Shepard chuckled. “Just trying to get to know my crew, Kaidan. Can I call you Kaidan?”

A little bit bewildered, he nodded. “Sure Commander…”

“Shepard.”

“Sure Shepard,” he chuckled. “Yeah, I’m here as a lifer, a lot of biotics are to be honest. Alliance is pretty much the only place that wants human biotics, so might as well get a paycheck for it.”

Nodding thoughtfully, Shepard let his eyes wander to the omega insignia on the lieutenant’s uniform. Kaidan cleared his throat, suddenly feeling cautious again.

“Yeah, and that.”

Kaidan’s tone and suddenly very neutral scent told Shepard that the conversation was pretty much over. Shepard nodded and toasted his coffee mug as he slipped out of the chair.

“I look forward to working with you Lieutenant. I’ll forward you the next mission details when I return to my quarters.”

“Thank you commander,” Kaidan nodded. He watched as Shepard strolled away, briefly chatting with crew members as he walked by. He started on the third protein bar.

 _What an interesting man_ , Kaidan thought idly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank-you as always for reading and being patient with me. Being only able to write on weekends is hard.
> 
> Thank-you once again to [BardofHeartDive](http://archiveofourown.org/users/BardofHeartDive/pseuds/BardofHeartDive) who beta-read this piece. They're a darling ^_^


	8. Spectre

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spectre induction and rescuing Liara.
> 
> Kaidan also makes some time to have a chat with Tali.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank-you if you're still reading this. It means the world to me! 
> 
> This is a dialogue-heavy chapter, just a warning.

“It is the decision of the Council that you be granted all the powers and privileges of the Special Tactics and Reconnaissance branch of the Citadel. You are the first human Spectre commander. This is a great accomplishment for you and your entire species.”

“I am honoured Councilors.” Shepard looked calm and collected but his scent told Kaidan otherwise. His scent was rapidly becoming smoky, a signal of his growing irritation, and the biotic frowned.

“We are sending you after Saren. You are authorised to use any means necessary to apprehend or eliminate him.”

Kaidan found himself focussing on the commander as the Council talked. He couldn’t do much for the commander, as regs only allowed him so much leeway outside of combat but he could try to smooth the edges of his anger. Closing his eyes, he made sure to concentrate on the commander, soothing pheromones to combat the edge that Shepard hovered on.

“Is there any available information on where Saren can be found?” Shepard’s anger simmered but remained tightly under control.

“We have extracted one more piece of information for you. Matriarch Benezia was the other voice on that recording; she has a daughter Liara T’Soni. She is an archaeologist who specializes in Prothean culture and technologies. We will forward her location to you.”

Shepard bowed his head and turned to leave. Udina was chattering on about logistics, practically ignoring the newly minted Spectre. The beta’s focus was purely on how to use this development to his political advantage; he seemed oblivious to the pheromones the commander was emitting. Kaidan just shook his head. A few years ago, his instincts would have had him involuntarily trembling from the scent; now his training allowed him to practically ignore it. He found himself momentarily jealous as his rigorous training was almost effortlessly matched by the beta.

His attention was brought back to the present as Udina requested Anderson’s assistance. Shepard just nodded and watched the two men leave. Kaidan contemplated what to say; normally he would offer his congratulations, but Shepard was obviously not happy about his promotion.

Tali was the one who broke the silence, “I thought the ambassador would have been a little more grateful. He didn’t even thank you.”

“Are Quarian politicians different?” came Shepard’s dry reply. “Come on.”

Kaidan almost felt relieved by the tart scent of amusement that threaded its way through the smoke. He smiled at the quarian, before nodding at the commander, “Right behind you.”

The walk back to the Normandy was silent, with only the wispy scent of smoke to occupy his senses.

\---

Kaidan relished this time of the day on the Normandy; it was the late watch and his duties had been squared away. For the last few nights he had found himself enjoying the commander’s company, a cup of tea or coffee together in their shared time. He probably enjoyed this time way more than what was professionally appropriate, but the alpha was compelling. Alone, Kaidan could admit that the man was attractive but he firmly squished any thoughts beyond that. He had remained unbonded for this long and he intended to keep it that way. Attractive alpha commanders would not be enough to break that resolve. 

Tonight however, Shepard had declined his company, preferring to be alone after his induction and so Kaidan headed down to Engineering with hope of talking with Tali. He enjoyed the quiet of Engineering in his down time, the soft hum of the mass effect engine and the quarian was a wealth of information on all things tech. He found himself eager to learn what he could from her. It could only be an advantage with the geth returning from beyond the Perseus Veil.

Stepping into Engineering, Kaidan blinked a little as he heard voices drift down the corridor. He hadn’t been expecting anyone else in the area at this hour. He hadn’t bothered to scent as quarians were a strange non-presence in terms of pheromones, their suits making them a blind spot in his senses. Concentrating harder, he took a discreet sniff and identified the alpha scent that was lightly permeating the area; Engineer Adams was still awake.

Tali’s voice floated down the hallway, “…and I’m worried that Shepard thinks I’m a liability. The commander seemed…irritated when I asked to accompany him.”

“That’s just the Commander, Tali. Have you talked to him since?” Kaidan’s soft voice rang throughout Engineering.

Tali jumped a little, clearly not expecting him but Adams just turned and smiled, “Hey Kaidan, long time no see.”

Kaidan nodded at the alpha, “How you been Adams?”

Tali pipped up quickly, “If you need me to leave, I can?”

Kaidan shook his head, “It’s okay Tali. It’s you I came down here to talk to actually.”

“Oh.” Once again Kaidan found himself wishing he could scent her, her mask making it difficult to gauge her mood. “Alright then, how can I help you?”

“What do you think of the Normandy?” the biotic asked, hoping to put the quarian a little more at ease.

“This ship is amazing! The drive core is just beautiful, I’ve never seen anything like it before,” Tali bubbled, obviously happy to be talking about tech. “I still can’t believe that you managed to fit it into a ship this small.” 

“They’re usually not this advanced,” Adams smiled at her enthusiasm. “The Normandy is just a prototype.”

Tali nodded, walking over to the monitor, fingers reverently gliding over the controls, “Travelling on a vessel like this is a dream come true. It's why I’m worried that the Commander may regret having me aboard.”

“Trust me Tali, if the commander didn’t want you here, you wouldn’t be here,” Adam smiled warmly, patting the quarian on the shoulder.

Kaidan nodded his agreement, “I had a short debrief with the commander before coming down here. He’s a bit pissed at the council and his induction as a spectre, so I’m pretty certain that any ire wasn’t directed at you.”

“Becoming a spectre? Why would he be annoyed at that?” Tali crossed her arms, head cocked as she seemed to study the omega.

Adam’s scent was changing, showing his interest.

Kaidan nodded, “He’s annoyed at the politics mostly. Shepard feels that their decision was not an indication of his ability but rather bowing to pressure from Udina. When we proved Saren to be a traitor and provided proof of his vendetta against humans, Udina forced their hand.”

Adams nodded, “He doesn’t think he earned it.”

“But the man is amazing!” Tali cried out. “I mean, he tracked down Fist with so little information and then managed to stop those assassins that were after me…”

Kaidan chuckled. He would have sworn the quarian was blushing right now, “Don’t forget that the council refuses to actually trust Shepard. They were wrong about Saren and they’re going to be wrong about the geth too.”

“Yes, the geth re-entering our system is a concern,” Tali mused. “At the very least I can share my data regarding them.”

Kaidan nodded. “I believe our next stop is Therum. The commander wants to pick up this asari researcher as soon as possible. Intel reports geth are already planetside.”

“See Tali, coming in handy already,” Adams winked. “On that note however, it's time for me to sleep.”

Adams took his leave, leaving Kaidan and Tali alone.

“You know, I don’t think I ever actually introduced myself Tali. I’m Lieutenant Kaidan Alenko, Marine Detachment Officer and the ship’s Omega Officer.”

Tali nodded, “You’re a sentinel class, aren’t you? What type of omni-tool are you using?”

Kaidan found himself relieved that the quarian either didn’t know the significance of his designation, or else didn’t care. “Logic Arrest, best on the market.”

Somehow, they ended up talking well into the early hours, only the next shift coming in making them realise how much time had passed. Kaidan bid farewell, and went off in search of coffee.

\---

Despite the environmental controls of the Mako, the ground team was already suited up in their thermal armour; temperatures on the surface of Therum were known to widely vary. Scans showed that most of the lava flows had solidified into igneous rock in the area they were set to infiltrate, steam cracking through the surface occasionally to relieve the underground pressure.  
Pyroclastic flows were always a concern, but the ship’s scans showed little thermal activity in the area they were set to land in. The prothean ruin within an active volcano was a different story however. A problem that could be dealt with later.

Between possible heat exhaustion, volcanic fumes and geth, this mission was shaping up to be a difficult one. Not to mention that the thermal armour prevented any use of pheromones.

 _“Prepare for drop in t-minus 3 minutes.”_ Joker’s voice was crackly through the intercom.  
“Fifty-nine degrees of heated hell,” Shepard murmured to himself, slipping into the Mako’s driver seat.

“At least it’d be a dry heat,” Kaidan piped up, buckling himself into the passenger seats.

Shepard chuckled at the omega’s optimism, one of the many reasons he had found himself liking the man. “Remember the Mako will not survive even brief contact with the magma. So careful driving will be crucial.”

“Just like Palaven,” Garrus intoned through his helmet’s comm unit. Shepard had assigned the turian and Ashley as sniper back ups for this mission, both would be dropped in on foot in another location. Shepard hoped the mountainous terrain would prove advantageous.

Shepard set his comm to the open-channel, addressing his ground team, “Remember, we don’t know if Liara is working for Saren, so we when approach the ruins, caution will be critical.” 

He turned so he was facing the quarian, “Tali, you’re our geth expert here. Work with Kaidan to ensure that you take down their shields as soon as possible.”

Twisting slightly, Shepard address the krogan, “Wrex, you’re our groundside back-up. For the moment, you’ll be manning the cannon.”

Wrex displayed his full set of teeth with his grin, “Better than this pea shooter I use all the time.”

“Garrus, Williams, cover our six across the surface. Once we reach the ruins you’ll be making sure nothing follows us inside.”

“Acknowledged Commander.”

_“Drop in T-minus, 10 9 8 7…”_

Kaidan grimaced. He hated this part.

_“...5 4 3 2 1. Drop.”_

Despite the small eezo core on board stabilising gravity, Kaidan’s stomach still tried to make friends with his heart. Shepard handled the drop expertly, deploying the thrusters before reaching landfall, minimising the impact.

“Right, let’s go get this scientist.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At the moment the story is moving along slowly but don't worry, it'll start to speed up soon! (aka I'm sorry for this boring chapter but the boys will begin to get closer soon I promise).  
> The next chapter should be up sometime this weekend.
> 
> Real-life got in the way of writing and updating for a while there (end of term grading/marking). It's almost the holidays and I'm so looking forward to spending most of my time writing!


	9. Squadmate Chats

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some interesting talks are happening between the squadmates.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm still blown away by the support for this fic! Thank-you all so much!

It was fair to say that Liara T’soni was not what anyone had been expecting. The timid doctor was nothing like the confident asari Matriarch that had sided with Saren. No, this was a young soul; she wanted nothing more than to be immersed in her research.

Something that he did find interesting however, was that he could scent her. Not in the same way as his fellow humans, but her pheromones were very similar. She came across as a beta and Shepard made a mental note to ask her about it. Although he might need to be careful around her; she had sounded very…complimentary when he had revealed that he held prothean visions in his mind. Liara had remarked on his strong will and then eyed him off like one might a particularly rare cut of beef.

Kaidan had practically growled at her and Shepard found himself surprised at the snappy remark from the normally calm omega, “This isn’t helping us find Saren or the Conduit.”

Liara immediately pulled back and readily admitted she had no information. Shepard found himself frustrated; this was no asari Commando, she had powerful biotics but it was clear she barely used them for combat. Her scientific data on protheans did promise to be useful, but the fact remained that she was practically a dead-end lead for their current mission of disposing of Saren. She knew nothing about her mother and hadn’t talked to the other asari in some time. The doctor hadn’t even known about some of the more recent events on the Citadel due to her isolation.

Shepard dismissed the meeting and waited until the Communication Room was clear before commanding Joker to contact the Council. They would probably want to speak with him regarding the destruction of that prothean ruin on Therum. Sighing, he contemplated simply hanging up.

\---

Kaidan stepped off the elevator intending to talk with the Requisitions Officer. The gunnery chief’s charred smoky scent filled the cargo bay. She was pissed about something, but it was Garrus stepping in front of him made him pause.

“Alenko, I’m glad you’ve come down here. I was hoping to be able to ask you something I’ve always been a little curious on, regarding your species,” the distinctive flange echoing slightly.

Blinking in surprise, Kaidan nodded, “Sure Garrus…ask away?”

“It’s about human gender…I overheard the gunnery chief talking to the commander and well, it made me realise that well…humans are weird.”

“Oh?”

Garrus nodded. “So, you’re an omega? And the commander,” he tilted his head towards Ashley, “and the gunnery chief are alphas?”

Kaidan cleared his throat, looking at the ceiling while he composed himself, “Well that’s our secondary sex. See, humans have two primary sexes; male and female like you, then three secondary sexes; the alpha, beta and omega.”

“So, you’re the Omega Officer? Why does your sex require a title?”

Finding himself wishing that Garrus had asked Chakwas instead, Kaidan steeled himself to answer, “Alphas are seen to be generally more aggressive, naturally more suited for combat…”

“Omegas are for breeding.” Ashley’s irritated voice rang out clearly from across the cargo bay. 

Kaidan suppressed a wince and shot a glare towards Ashley but her back was still turned to them. He’d already taken a bit of flak from her regarding his status but he wasn’t going to back down.

“Bit outdated there Williams?”

“No just stating the biological facts L-T.”

Kaidan found himself growling. Too many times, omegas were submissive because of how they were raised. They were taught to rely on Alphas to function and protect them. To be meek. Well, if that was what Williams expected with him, she was about to have a huge wake-up call.

Garrus cleared his throat. Both humans had obviously forgotten he was there. “Look, the lieutenant’s biotic skills are extremely impressive. I rarely see anyone with your level of ability.”

Kaidan sighed, reining his emotions and pheromones in, “I used to hold back to be honest.”

“Typical soft omega,” Ashley sneered, clicking the rifle she had been cleaning to further emphasis her point.

“But I’m not holding back anymore,” Kaidan glared harshly at Ashley. “Not against the geth, not against anyone.”

“And I would hardly call the Lieutenant soft.”

“She is right though. Most omegas wouldn’t even dream of being a front-line military personnel,” Kaidan resisted the urge to growl as Ashley turned to smirk at the admission. “But the omegas that are approved for front-line duty are a totally different breed.”

“Look I’ll admit that military-trained omegas are useful _but_ ,” Ashley glared right at Kaidan. “It’s unnatural. The training is essentially behaviour modification plus you get privileges the rest of us don’t.”

“Chief, if you’re talking about the different levels of suppressants again…”

“No, I’m talking about the fucking frat regs Lieutenant.” She glared but her body language and pheromone levels told Kaidan that she wasn’t looking to attack him. “The fact that you’re _encouraged_ to take a high-ranking mate and then can still serve with them on the same ship! Fuck, because what wouldn’t a bonded alpha do for their omega?” Ashley almost whispered the last part, Kaidan almost straining to hear it. “The rest of us have to make do with a life away from our families, our loved ones and mates and fuck, it just pisses me off okay?!”

Kaidan blinked, then slowly smiled, “…Are you a romantic Chief?”

“What?! No!”

Kaidan grinned as she went bright red in the face. _Just remember Ash, at least I’m not the one who activated an alien device and almost got the commander killed_ , was what Kaidan -wanted- to say but he held himself back. There was more than one way to dominate an alpha and taking Ash down gently would leave more of a lasting impact than winning a fist fight.

Garrus laughed softly, “I really don’t get why that’s a big deal. Within the Hierarchy Fleet, plenty of mating pairs serve together.”

“Yeah but humans don’t have the same focus on military as turians do.”

“True, very true. State and military before oneself.” Garrus cocked his head at Kaidan, his mandibles flaring in a way that told Kaidan he was thinking hard. “Speaking of the military, I did in fact, want to talk to you about your military history, Lieutenant.”

Shrugging, Kaidan gestured for Garrus to continue. “Ask away.” He watched as Ashley turned and left the cargo bay, still bright red, her scent blatantly broadcasting her embarrassment.  
“Your biotics…I did mean what I said. They are impressive, though I was unaware of your secondary sex being an issue.”

Kaidan turned back to the turian. “It’s not Garrus. I wouldn’t be here if the Alliance deemed me a risk or unable to perform my duties.”

“Do you hate her?”

“Hate her?” Kaidan briefly closed his eyes, considering thoughtfully. “No, I don’t. Omegas have only been in the military for maybe eighty years? Her grandfather would have fought without omegas and, well, that attitude was probably passed down.” Kaidan sighed and then eyed the turian. “What do you really want Garrus?

A cluck told Kaidan that the turian was almost embarrassed at his transparency. “I’ve been wanting to speak with you since I found out your name, _Alenko_ ,” Garrus walked over to Kaidan, his piercing eyes carefully studying the biotic. “I didn’t recognise your face when I first met you; our records don’t work that way but your name…gave me pause.”

Kaidan waited patiently for the turian to continue, brows furrowing as he mulled over this new information.

“I doubt you’d know it, but your name is well known among Turians.” Kaidan watched as Garrus’ mandibles twitched, a sure sign that the alien was clearly nervous. “ _Alenko_ …that name is a warning.”

“A warning?”

The mandibles were now quivering. “The records from Gagarin Station, I have access to them from my father.”

Kaidan’s eyes widened, his body taking a guarded stance without even thinking. “Those records are sealed, what do you - ”

“Peace Lieutenant, I don’t mean to bring up bad feelings. I only want to get a feel for the reality of the situation, the reality of well…you. Besides, it’s only because he’s so high up in C-Sec and had personal experience with Commander Vrynnus himself, that he has access…otherwise it’s more of a myth to most turians.”

“The Alliance sealed the records, I doubt even Shepard’s N7 clearance could get him into my files.” Kaidan huffed, shaking his head. Looking at Garrus directly, he carefully considered what to say next. “I was cleared of murder by a mostly Turian jury, did you know that? It was the Turians who cleared me of any wrongdoing…humans wanted to lock me up and throw away the key.”

“Hearing of those records, discussed by my father, quite honestly Vrynnus got what he deserved,” Garrus clucked, this time an amused noise. “Vrynnus is held up as an example of hubris by the turian military, an example of what underestimating your foe can do. Plus the fact that he got killed by a juvenile human? He was pathetic.” A snort told Kaidan that the turian was laughing.

Kaidan’s eyes widened. “Well…I’m uh…glad you told me?”

“I wanted to see what the ‘beastly Alenko’ was really like. The myth is vastly different from the reality I can tell you.” His mandibles twitched with amusement. “Working with you on our last mission showed me that.”

Kaidan rubbed the back of his neck, feeling overwhelmed. “I spent three years getting over killing that turian. But he made me realise…we’re all the same. We all can be assholes and saints; doesn’t matter what species we are.”

“You’re not some xenophobic monster Alenko; I’ve never heard any sort of negative remarks coming from you,” Garrus held his hand out, Kaidan grasped it and they shook. “Your name may be a cautionary tale among Turians but your actions speak louder than that. I’m glad I had the opportunity to get the truth for myself.”

“Thanks, Garrus, I’ll see you around.”

“Thank you for the talk Lieutenant.”

Wrex came from behind the Mako in time to watch the two part ways, and huffed in amusement, “Heh, stupid aliens.”

\---

“Sir, I need to speak with you.”

“I keep an open-door policy. What is it Williams?”

“All right,” she briefly looked at the floor before bracing herself to look at him in the eyes. “It’s the omega sir, it just -”

“Alenko.”

She blinked, briefly taken aback. “What?”

“The ‘omega’s’ name is ‘Alenko,’ or his rank is ‘’lieutenant’.”

“Sir, yes sir. Permission to speak freely sir?”

Shepard waved his permission. He could practically see the gears turn in her head as Ashley considered her words.

“With all due respect commander, I was wondering why I was practically benched on the last mission.”

“Williams, do you have tech expertise that I am unaware of?” Shepard frowned, the gunnery chief’s scent was growing smoky.

Ashley frowned, “No sir.”

“Good, then that means your dossier is up to date. We’re facing down Geth, Williams.” Shepard looked at her, mulling over what he wanted to say and how he was going to say it. “I had Alenko and Tali in the forward team because of their technical expertise. I know you are hell with a rifle, but I also know that you know exactly how hard it is to take down a geth’s shielding. That’s why I needed you and Garrus to protect our six.”

Ashley frowned, taking in his words. His scent was suspiciously neutral, and it was hard to gauge his reaction. 

“Or is there something else you need to talk to me about?”

She huffed, scent clearly showing she was frustrated, but Shepard waited for her to speak. “My father, grandfather and great-grandmother, they all picked up a rifle and swore the oath of service. They were all alphas and they served honourably commander.”

Shepard just nodded, waiting for her to continue.

“They served to protect our home and served with pride to protect the weak, protect our omegas. An omega just shouldn’t be serving in a combat role sir.”

Shepard resisted sighing and carefully reigned in his emotions. He needed to choose his next words well. Ashley was a capable soldier, but it was clear she didn’t trust Kaidan. The gunnery chief’s dossier made it clear that she had many glowing commendations and performance reviews, but was repeatedly being denied further opportunities for advancement. Omega’s typically served on shipboard postings, an opportunity that Williams had never been given, though her dossier did not have explicit reasons for it. Her last CO was Lieutenant Richards, and for reasons Shepard could not figure out, he had not given her command of her unit on Eden Prime. It was a puzzle he intended to solve.

“Williams, the Lieutenant is damn good at his job. You’ve seen him in combat not once but twice now. You’ve got a chance aboard the Normandy to prove yourself.” Shepard fixes his gaze on her, the superior alpha standing his ground. “Prejudice against your direct superior office isn’t going to help you here.”

“So, you do know about my family,” she shakes her head. “The CO always manages to find out.”

“Know about what Williams?”

“Oh, come on, the commanding officer always manages to find out. It must be in my files or something.”

Despite himself, Shepard was getting agitated and he knew the other alpha could smell it. “I don’t know what you’re talking about Williams. Your files are clean.”

“I’m General Williams granddaughter,” she sighed, her scent suddenly tart. “The commander of the Shanxi garrison in the First Contact War.”

Shepard blinked. _Oh. Oh!_

“The only human ever to surrender to an alien race.” Her scent turned bitter, reflecting her words.

He studied her face carefully, the downturned gaze and suddenly unsure body language. And he suddenly understood, “You’re blacklisted because of your grandfather’s cowardice.”

Ashley growled, eyes flashing to meet the commander’s, surprising herself. “My grandfather was no coward and I’m not going to let our name go down with the likes of Arnold and Quisling. My grandfather deserves better than that.” She pinned Shepard with her gaze, “I deserve better than that.”

He smiled warmly, and he knew that Ashley was surprised at his reaction to her challenge, “He refused to sacrifice his men just to save face for humanity.”

“What difference does it make? I’ll never be good enough for the Alliance.”

“You’re on the Normandy now Williams, the most advanced ship the Alliance Navy. This posting is an excellent opportunity for your families’ name.” Shepard let his carefully controlled pheromones loose, the metallic scent driving his next point home. “I’d just remember that when dealing with our Omega Officer. He is a highly capable soldier and if your prejudice gets him hurt or worse, you’ll never find yourself off a desk planet-side again. An Alliance Omega is one of our greatest assets Williams, one of our omegas is worth more than both of us combined.”

Ashley immediately backed down, “Sorry sir. As a marine I trust their combat skills, not their _other_ skills. Request to be taken groundside with the omega next mission, sir?”

“I’ll think about Williams. Dismissed.”

Ashley instantly saluted and left the comm room.

Shepard watched her leave. He couldn’t make her respect Alenko but he’d make damn well sure that she wouldn’t get him killed either.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Headcanon for Kaidan borrowed with permission from [Turian Boogeyman ](http://archiveofourown.org/works/3639081%20) by potionsmaster. Go read it if you haven’t already. It’s great!
> 
> Also did you notice, Lieutenant Richards? Lieutenant DICK xD hehehehe...yeh. (he's unnamed in the comics, I can call him what I want to...)
> 
> More discussions regarding Asari biology in later chapters ;)


	10. Fucking Thresher Maws

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Admiral Kahoku has assigned the Normandy to look for a missing recon team. Tracking a distress beacon, the squad lands on Edolus.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warnings; panic attack, mentions of PTSD

_This is not a pleasant planet to be on,_ Kaidan thought idly.

Edolus was practically a dead world, the wide deserts broken only by the occasional rocky highlands. It was devoid of any life, the debris from meteor impacts ensuring that most attempts at mining the planet’s resources were futile.

The Mako was efficient as always, powering on through the dust, the desolation bleeding into a monotony of sand. It was almost a relief for the tank to tackle the ridged mountainous areas; though Kaidan would have sworn that the sky had filled the entirely of their visuals more than once during the rocky ride.

Turning slightly, he studied the two alphas sitting in the cockpit with him. Ashley had been surprisingly pleasant thus far into the mission. And the commander seemed to be almost having fun driving the Mako across the difficult terrain.

And speaking of Shepard…Kaidan mused over what he knew of the alpha commander. Most of Shepard’s dossier was public record; a homeless kid that signed up to be an Alliance grunt. The earthborn gangster who exceeded everyone’s expectations as an officer, and the sole survivor of a military disaster. After Akuze, Shepard had been held as a prime example of the perfect alpha. And yet...the commander wasn’t what the omega had expected when he had first heard that he was going to be serving under the man; he went out of his way to get to know his squad and he was considerate of the crew beyond what was expected of the CO. Kaidan had also noticed how Shepard tended to defend his groundside squads; the man was always last on board, double-checking that everyone was accounted for. Simply put, Shepard was not like the other alpha COs that he had served with before.

A particularly harsh bump jolted him from his thoughts as the Mako finally emerged from the rocky highlands, rapidly approaching the distress beacon. If he squinted, he imagined he could sight it directly across the open dunes.

“Confirming visuals on a M29 Grizzly. Must belong to Kahoku’s men,” Ashley piped up, squinting through the turret’s aiming system. She frowned, taking note of the terrain ahead. “Does sand normally move in that way?”

Shepard’s eyes widened as he watched the sand ripple in a manner he had seen once before; had desperately prayed to never see again. He knew what was coming for them. He began to heave as he fought the panic and to breathe; the alpha wanted to warn his pack of the danger but his mouth wouldn’t work. The air wouldn’t come and his mind shut down; body frozen as the memories of Akuze flooded him. Blackness crept in at the edge of his vision and Shepard lost track of reality.

Ashley gasped as she observed the ground crumpling like paper, the head of the huge creature breached the desert as if it were nothing. The mouth was a brilliant blue, shining like an exquisite gem and it struck the alpha as ironic that something so deadly was so beautiful.

“That’s a fucking thresher maw!” Ashley instantly recognised the huge creature from the field manuals and remembered the warnings to never engage with the creature if it could be avoided.

Then the harsh scent of alpha panic filled the Mako, filling Ashley with a dread unlike she had ever felt before. Her hands froze on the turret controls, eyes wide as she struggled to fight her baser instincts.

Immediately Kaidan unclipped the harness that held him to the wall of the armoured vehicle, calming pheromones flooding the interior. Ashley shuddered, the panic pheromones from the commander wearing off. She turned around to Kaidan pulling the commander out of the driver’s seat to lay him on the floor, before seating himself.

“Don’t stop firing Ash!” the omega shouted before kicking the Mako into gear, driving backwards from the maw, not caring about finesse, “Don’t stop until it’s dead!”

Ashley swore as the Mako’s warning system lit up; the thresher maw’s venom was eating through their ablative plating. Activating the turret, she fired directly into the alien’s bright blue mouth. Ash’s shots were precise, Kaidan’s pheromones steadying her hand and heartbeat, the bouncing of the Mako no issue for her aim. The careful shots were still not match for the creature’s armoured skin and the thresher maw screamed; diving beneath the ground, the sand parting like water in its wake.

“Fuck!” Ashley slammed her fist against the hull. “Unless you can get us out of range LT, that fucker is gonna chew through this tank like it’s paper!”

But Kaidan was already up, applying omni-gel to the worst of the damage left from the maw. He was precise, calm in his mannerisms and Ashley couldn’t help but be impressed. She breathed in his pheromones deeply to steady herself, swallowing against her panic that still threatened to escape. Turning back towards the cannon’s firing system, she waited for the thresher maw to reveal itself once more. As the omni-gel did its work, the warning beeps stopped and Kaidan slid back into the driver’s seat. He directed the Mako away from where they’d last seen the maw.

It was pure luck that the maw re-emerge in front of the Mako, its blind face turned away from them. The blue tongue swept the field in search of them and Ashley wasted no time in firing the cannon directly at the back of the beast, revelling in its pained cries. Machine gun fire followed the maw as it dived once more to avoid the constant barrage of damage.

Tense moments passed as the two soldiers braced themselves for it to burst out from beneath the sand again.

“Fuck…where is the fucker?” whispered Ashley, eyes widely scanning the terrain.

Kaidan frowned, fingers moving over the console, trying to adjust the scanner to pick up the immense creature’s movements. The sand must have been interfering with the readings, scanner showing the creature was practically surrounding them. Surely it couldn’t be _that_ large? Could it?

“Nah, the fuckers really are that large LT,” muttered Ashley as she visually scanned the sands. “About two-thirds of the body is always below ground…”

Kaidan turned and blinked, not aware that he had asked anything aloud, then refocused on his driving. The creature was simply too big and fast to outrun, and he had to be prepared for its incredibly corrosive acid.

Barely ten seconds passed, though it felt like a lifetime, before the creature burst out of the sands once more. It screamed, mandibles opening to display its azure tongue, spitting acid towards them; Kaidan had already moved the Mako out of the way. They couldn’t afford the acid to hit them, the first bout of repairs had used up most of his supply of omni-gel.

“Just die you fucker!” Ashley aimed another cannon blast directly at the thresher maw’s mouth, machine gun fire following its path. The cannon blasted one of its ‘legs’ clean off, the segment spiralling off to land in the distance. The creature screeched, this time a cry of agony instead of rage. Ashley didn’t let it dive again; the machine gun fired down its exposed belly, finally ripping the carapace open.

Kaidan grinned and gave a whoop as the maw shrieked its death cry, its massive bulk collapsing lifeless on the sand. Ashley laughed, a beautiful expression of joy and hugged the omega in celebration. He blinked, surprised at her show of camaraderie, before smiling and returning her hug. Her pheromones projected her relief and happiness, her hug sincere. Kaidan was sure that his surprise was clear, but he was too relieved to contemplate it. They had just taken down a fucking thresher maw!

Their attention soon turned to the commander though. The alpha was still out, Kaidan’s soothing pheromones had worked only to take the edge off it seemed.

“Ashley, I need you to investigate that transmitter outside, see if you can locate Kohaku’s soldiers. I’ll take care of Shepard.” Kaidan was calm in issuing the orders, omni-tool already activated as he scanned the commander’s vitals.

Ashley nodded quickly. She wasn’t too keen on being outside the safety of the Mako, but she knew that if the commander went feral in his shock, her alpha presence would be read as a threat. It was up to Kaidan as the omega officer to support his fallen alpha squadmate. Helmet clipped on, she activated the airlock and left.

Kaidan walked over to the panic stricken alpha, gently propping him up against the wall and slid down next to him. He concentrated on producing his calming pheromones, placing his forehead on Shepard’s shoulder to help facilitate the process. It had been a shock to see the normally bold alpha react with such pure fear. Kaidan knew about Akuze, anyone who had access to the extranet knew about Akuze, but he would have never guess it still affected the alpha this much. He was however determined to not judge him for it; they all had their demons.

Deep within his chest, he began a deep purr, rumbling throughout his body. The purr was an omega trick, used to manipulate alphas into relaxing. Kaidan hoped the double whammy of his purr and pheromones would be enough to help the commander return from his mind, where he was obviously reliving the death of his squad. He couldn’t have told anyone how long they silently sat together but slowly Shepard’s breathing calmed and his body untensed. Only once Shepard had completed relaxed against the bulkheads, did Kaidan attempt to talk.

“Commander...John?” Kaidan’s voice was soft, not wanting to alarm the other man.

A shudder finally broke through the alpha’s panic-induced state.

“I thought I was done with this fucking shit,” the alpha whispered, still staring straight ahead. “Fifty good soldiers died…and I’m still alive.”

Kaidan couldn’t tell if Shepard wanted him to talk, so he chose to ignore it. He continued his purr, continued his soothing pheromones, allowing the commander to re-establish himself on his own terms.

Ashley growled as she reported back over the comm, both Shepard and Kaidan jumped slightly at the sudden loud interruption. “That transmitter was placed deliberately. Some asshole lured those marines to their deaths.”

“See if you can find anything about who did it chief. I’ll let you know when you can come back inside the Mako. Alenko out.”

Kaidan turned back to the commander who had slumped against him. Giving a discrete sniff, Kaidan assured himself that Shepard was indeed returning to normal, his purr dying off slightly.  
Shepard blinked as if he was taking in that he was sitting on the floor, frowning before turning towards Kaidan, “They gave me a fucking promotion. It was sheer, dumb fucking luck that I survived. Luck and an omega.” He whispered the last part, trying to not remember, trying to not reveal his pain to Kaidan.

The purr increased once more increased in intensity, soothing the alpha. They sat in silence, Kaidan gently rubbing Shepard’s arm in circles while continuing his rumbling purr.

"I could hear them screaming,” he continued, voice distant. “I saw the acid as it burned through flesh and steel…we…I couldn’t stop it."

“Shepard, you…you don’t have to tell me this if you don’t want to,” offered Kaidan.

The commander shook his head, “It…helps.”

John looked at him abruptly, right into Kaidan’s eyes, studying him intensely.

Kaidan realised then, just how close he was to the commander. And then Shepard leaned forward slowly, eyes on his lips like he was going to kiss Kaidan…his lips looked so soft, so inviting and Kaidan found himself leaning in towards the commander…

And then, as quickly as it started, it was over. The alpha jerked away from him, Kaidan sliding completely to the floor as Shepard stood.

“M’sorry,” he apologised hastily, slipping back into a rough accent before clearing his throat. “I’m sorry Lieutenant, that was completely inappropriate of me. It won’t happen again.”

Before Kaidan even had a chance to speak, Shepard was on the comm system, recalling Williams to the ship. His face was still bright red, and his pheromones held a distinct tinge of embarrassment.

 _Fuck, he’s adorable…_ Kaidan thought before cursing at himself for it. He’d been adamantly refusing to bond with an Alpha Officer, no matter what the Alliance Brass said, (never mind that an alpha blushing and stammering _was_ pretty damn cute) and he had just never entertained the fact that the commander could be interested and well... Suddenly he realised that he hadn’t really reacted to the almost-kiss at all and opened his mouth to speak. Luckily, he was saved from the awkwardness when Ashley finally re-entered the Mako.

Ashley walked back to the two men, frowning as she took in the sight of Shepard leaning over the Mako’s controls, the scent of embarrassment heavy in the air. Her great _alpha_ commander had a weakness and it perplexed her; a dichotomy if there ever was one.  
Shepard looked up from the console, fixing her with a steely glare, all signs and scents of vulnerability gone, “It’s dead. That’s all that matters. All we need to do now is report back to Kohaku.”

She blinked, then smiled, understanding suddenly blooming within her. Her commander had a weakness, but he was still strong, still alpha. And the omega… _Kaidan_ , she reminded herself, had been the one to get them both through the panic, through the horror that was a thresher maw. Kaidan was strong and he was worthy of being her squad mate.

Shepard frowned, then sniffed, “So…you two don’t hate each other anymore?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Ashley and Kaidan have worked things out, and Kaidan and Shep are like...yeh. Sorry, not sorry?
> 
> \---  
> Thank-you to all you wonderful people still reading this. You inspire me to write more.
> 
> Also thankyou to everyone who listens to my rambles. Bardofheartdive, once more, thankyou for beta-reading. Barbex, thankyou for helping me with my headcanons <3


	11. Feros 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Normandy lands on Feros to find that Zhu's Hope is in dire need of help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank-you so much to  SomethingProfound who helped me out with military protocols. You are a wealth of information and I love you for it. Go read their stuff, especially Encroachment, if you want a realistic military in the Mass Effect world.

Feros was hauntingly beautiful from the air. The prothean ruins covered most of the planet and their spires protruded from the clouds like fingers reaching for the sky. Everywhere Kaidan looked the derelict towers twisted their way upwards, the skeleton of a once proud civilisation.

“Kinda reminds you of a horror vid, doesn’t it?” Joker commented as he flew the Normandy smoothly through the dusty atmosphere. “Abandoned alien megalopolis, geth attacks, colonies with no communications coming in or out…makes you wonder what’s really down there.”

“Of course, you’d say that,” Kaidan muttered from the co-pilot chair. “Still no communication from Zhu’s Hope Tower.”

“Manual set-down then,” Joker nodded as his fingers flew confidently over the holo interface. “At least the automatic docking protocols are still in place.”

Liara was excited. “Feros is one of the best-preserved sites for prothean architecture.” She peered out the windows in the cockpit. “The aqueducts are still in working order in some places, their durability is simply astounding. Although some of the utilitarian applications are - ”

“Zhu’s Hope is located on the upper levels of some of the more intact skyscrapers,” Joker interrupted but smiled to placate her. “Wouldn’t do to have our colony fall down around our ears, now would it?”

“OH, I’m sorry, there I go again.”

Kaidan frowned as he picked up her pheromones indicating that she was embarrassed, making a mental note to research it later.

“Hey Liara, why do asari smell human?” Joker queried. Kaidan resisted smacking himself on the forehead at the pilot’s bluntness.

“I…I’m sorry?”

Liara was saved from answering with Shepard’s voice coming in over the intercom, _“Alenko and T’soni, report to the communications room for operation orders. We’re going to need everyone groundside here. No telling what we’re going to find. Out.”_

“Yes sir.” Kaidan looked to Joker, “Are you in control?”

Joker nodded to confirm, “I am in control. Go on, get to it,” he added with a wink.

Kaidan just groaned, slightly regretting that he had ever talked with the beta about Shepard, especially when he hadn’t had a chance to talk to Shepard himself. He’d been suspiciously busy whenever he’d gone to track the other man down.

Following the commander to the communications room, the aliens of the team were already present. Kaidan sat in his usual spot, pleasantly surprised when Williams walked in to sit next to him. Smiling, he nodded at her before giving Shepard his full attention.

“Earlier today, we received a distress call from Zhu’s Hope, located on Feros. This colony is a minor settlement and port, founded by the ExoGeni corporation to study the prothean ruins located there. We know there are likely survivors at the colony itself, as the distress call is still broadcasting. A geth dreadnought was reported to be sighted before all communications were cut.” Shepard paused for a moment, considering each of them.

“Geth in these numbers means Saren, and if Saren wants it, we’re there. Therefore, we will be split into two squads; Fenrir Squad will be composed of our tech specialists; Kaidan, Garrus and Tali.” Shepard’s pheromones became stronger as he continued his instructions; the metallic scent of the alpha in charge filling the comm room. “Valkyrie Squad will be Ashley, Wrex and Liara. We anticipate casualties and if necessary, you are to assist the colony with possible fortifications.” There was a brief pause for questions, then Shepard continued.

“The current plan is to land the Normandy near Zhu’s Hope as scans show that the docking bay there has no evidence of hostiles. It seems that most of the Geth are clustering around ExoGeni HQ. Williams, are weapons and munitions in order?”

“Guns are working and in prime condition skipper.”

Shepard nodded, acknowledging the chief. “Excellent. Alenko, assist Williams in readying the Mako for deployment, double time. We may need it across some of those skyways.”

“Yes sir!”

\---

Kaidan followed Ashley to the elevator. “Right, I’ll check over the e-warfare suite and the VI, while you do the weapon and munition systems check?”

Ashley nodded easily, the elevator ride spent in a companionable silence. The doors opened, and both strode purposefully across the cargo bay, hopping into the Mako. Kaidan slipped into the driver’s seat to pull up the holo-display, calling up the pre-deployment checklists.

“So, question for you LT.” Ashley sat down next to the omega, pulling up her own holo-display. He nodded, and she went on. “Most omega officers are bonded by your age, some suitable alpha officer found for them. Why not you?”

Kaidan frowned. The alpha was much blunter than he was used to, though at least she wasn’t being malicious anymore. In fact, she seemed to genuinely want to learn more about him. “It’s not exactly mandatory Chief.”

“Yeah but, isn’t that like half the point of having omegas in the military? Bonded to an alpha officer, an unstoppable empathic team?”

“Don’t tell me that you read that fairy tale shit about reading each other’s minds, do you?” he chuckled, shaking his head. The Mako’s computer chirped as the e-warfare suite’s checks were completed satisfactorily. He started the checks on the VI.

“Hey, it’s not fairy tale shit! Plus, bonded omegas are pretty much immune to alpha dominance pheromones, you know, like a beta?”

Kaidan snorted, “Thanks to the Alliance training, I’m already pretty much immune Chief.”

“Yeh, you omega officers really are a different breed…” Ashley turned to Kaidan, she was smiling brightly, her pheromones indicating that no offense was meant. “When I was growing up, all I wanted was to have my own family. An omega to take care of…” She sounded almost wistful.

“I’m not really anything like any of those omegas Ash, never really was.”

“No, you’re really not Kaidan. And I’m sorry I ever thought that.”

“I’ve just never liked the idea of someone making me their object to own. I’m fine with signing my life over to the Alliance but it doesn’t mean that I must submit to an alpha officer. Ever.”

Ashley nodded, mulling the information over. “The Alliance must really want you to take on an alpha as bondmate though. To have you assigned to the Normandy…maybe they want you to accept Anderson or Shepard…” She cut off as Kaidan blushed a deep red at the commander’s name, his sudden flare of pheromones making Ashley take notice. “Oh… _oh_!”

Kaidan shook his head, a growl rumbling in his chest, “Ash…don’t…”

“It’s Shepard, isn’t it?” She practically crowed at his dismayed expression.

“I don’t want to hear this through the scuttlebutt Williams.” Kaidan growled slightly as he finished his pre-deployment checklist.

“Don’t worry LT.” She winked, ignoring the growl completely. “Your secret is safe with me.”

Kaidan merely rolled his eyes as he left the Mako to get suited up.

\---

Zhu’s Hope was a bit of a shit hole.

The first civilian casualty happened within five minutes of docking the Normandy. An alpha civilian had been sent to fetch them, but their arrival had gained the attention of the geth. His body jerked as the lasers pierced his body, twitching in its death throes. Thankfully, it was a small geth squadron and soon dispatched. Shepard waved Fenrir squad forward towards Zhu’s Hope, instructing Valkyrie squad to fortify the area around the Normandy before they left.

Kaidan frowned as they navigated the ruins towards the colony, between the bleak columns and up the worn stairs. It was a long-abandoned shell of a city and he half wondered if it would crumble beneath his feet. Light occasionally shown through the ancient ruins, still defying gravity after so many years. What ExoGeni hoped to find here was anyone’s guess.

Rounding a bend, he winced as he scented the caustic scent of omega panic. A glance at Shepard told him that the alpha had also scented it, Kaidan concentrated on producing counter-pheromones to steady the commander as they neared the civilians. If that’s how the omegas scented as, then any civilian alphas were bound to be highly aggressive and territorial.  
Shepard had the same idea, pressing himself up against the wall to peek around the next corner. He waved the squad in behind him.

“Two civilians ahead,” he whispered. “Both armed, standard M-3 Predators by the looks of it.”

“Where are the security forces?” Kaidan whispered back. “Why are civilians left to defend this colony?”

Shepard shrugged. “I’ll go in first - ”,

“With all due respect, sir,” Kaidan murmured, “It might be better if I go in first. They might open fire on an alpha without letting you get close.”

Considering the omega, Shepard nodded. “Right, you’ll go in first then, unarmed. Be prepared to use some biotic shielding if they look like they’ll open fire, I’ll follow on your six. Garrus, I need you to find a good sniper point, take them out if necessary.”

Garrus clicked his mandibles, a sure sign of his hesitation, “You want me to take down human civilians?”

Nodding, Shepard confirmed, “They’re likely to be alphas and judging by the omega pheromones in the air, it's very probably that they will be both territorial and aggressive.”

“And not thinking straight,” Kaidan murmured. “They probably will only be thinking of protecting the omegas further inside the colony.”

Garrus nodded, leaving the squad to scout out a good position for his sniper rifle.

Waiting for Garrus’ confirmation, Shepard felt tense despite Alenko’s pheromones. He hadn’t had to deal with a civilian situation for some time now and if those alphas were feral, then he might have no choice but to put them down.

 _“In position Shepard,”_ Garrus’ voice crackled in over the comms.

Shepard looked back at Kaidan, who nodded that he was ready, and took a deep breath before he stepped out in front of the civilians. His hands were open, showing he was unarmed, walking slowly towards the agitated alphas.

“Alliance military, we’re here to help you,” Kaidan crooned, attempting to be as calm as he possibly could. He attempted to look as nonthreatening as possible when dressed in full military gear.

The civilian alphas trembled, their teeth bared and their fingers twitching on the triggers. One snarled sharply as Kaidan walked towards them. “Stop right there! How do we know that you’re not with the Geth?”

Kaidan stopped, palms still facing the civilians, unfortunately there was still too much of a distance for his pheromones to have any great effect on them. Shepard growled lowly from behind cover, Tali grabbing him to keep the alpha from running onto the field.

“My name is Lieutenant Alenko, from the Normandy SR-1. We received your distress call and we are here to help.” The omega’s croon continued, a hum deep within his chest that spoke to the subconscious that they were not a threat, that a dominance battle was not needed. “Please lower your weapons, we are here to help you.”

They snarled, fingers still on the triggers of their standard pistols, eyes wild. Kaidan attempted to expand his pheromone field, hoping that any of it would reach the alphas. Shepard itched to defend the omega, logically knowing it would only harm him and the mission, but his alpha instincts were screaming at him to move...

Luckily for all of them, a solution came running up from behind the trigger-happy civilians.

“Put your weapons down you fools!”

“Fai Dan!” the alpha gasped, weapon lowered as he turned to look back at the other man. “But what if...”

A sudden growl from Fai Dan was enough to get both the civilian alphas to back down. Shepard raised an eyebrow, this must be the head alpha of the colony; he subtly signalled Garrus to stand down, his own alpha instincts relaxing at the defusing of the situation. Kaidan felt relieved, dealing with civilians could get nasty and starting the mission with a civilian casualty had made him uneasy. It never got easier. Removing himself from cover, Shepard approached.

“Commander Shepard, Council Spectre and Alliance systems. We received your distress beacon.” He shook the other alphas hand. Kaidan walked closer, projecting his pheromones towards the civilian alphas. They almost shuddered as they scented him, visibly calming, blinking in almost confusion as their minds cleared from the feral haze.

“Commander Shepard, Lieutenant, I’m so glad they finally sent someone to help us! Please forgive their behaviour.” Fai Dan gestured to the two alphas on guard duty. “It’s been horrible, please, follow me.”

Signalling Tali and Garrus to follow, the squad entered Zhu’s Hope. The colony was a mess, it seemed most of the civilians had fortified themselves around a downed commercial vessel, the omegas huddled together inside. Though, something about their pheromones was wrong…

Turning his attention back to Fai Dan, Kaidan frowned as the alpha informed Shepard of the many problems facing the colony apart from the geth transmitter in the tunnels; no water, food, or power. Plus they had no training in the weapons they were being forced to use, nor did they have the level of control the military did. Somehow the civilian alphas had held the colony together until they had managed to arrive.

Kaidan snorted and shook his head to try to clear his mind from the active omega pheromones in the camp; his training the only thing keeping him from bolting. It wasn’t often that his inner omega reared its head this badly but that was a testament to how bad the situation was. Shepard gave him a concerned look, but he waved the alpha’s concern away. He’d dealt with worse.

Approaching a group of terrified civilian omegas, Kaidan sat down with them, a purr resonating from within his chest already; a signal that he was not a threat. One whimpered at his approach and Kaidan's heart clenched, pained at seeing what he could have been. He didn’t touch them, made sure to not try to make eye contact until they were ready; frightened omegas running on pure instinct could inadvertently hurt themselves or call over an alpha to attack him. He continued purring, his pheromones enveloping the area, smiling as he saw them start to visibly calm.

“It’s okay,” he murmured, “We’re here to help.” He waited until they smiled back at him before getting up, though he wished he could do more for them. At least now they weren't stuck in a panicked state and affecting the alphas too.

Walking back to the squad, Kaidan found that Shepard had designated Valkyrie squad to dealing with the colony’s problems and fortify the area surrounding Zhu’s Hope; Fenrir Squad was to deal with reaching the geth mothership that had attached itself to the Exogeni Headquarters.

This was turning into a bitch of a mission.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Big-sister Ash emerges! And Kaidan, being his usual badass self. Also a glimpse into civilian omegas...bit of a difference there...
> 
> Hope you enjoyed this chapter ^_^
> 
> Thank-you so much to  BardofHeartDive for beta-reading for me <3


	12. Feros 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The geth aren't the only enemy on Feros.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woo! This is a massive chapter guys! I hope you enjoy this extra-long load of Omegaverse goodness <3

_Kaidan, the middle of the mission is not the time to be checking out your alpha commander’s ass!_

Kaidan shook his head and firmly clamped down on his pheromones, ignoring Tali’s giggles as he followed Shepard towards the prothean skyway. He jogged to catch up and speak to the other man with a concern he’d had since they’d reached Zhu’s Hope.

“Commander…something is off here,” Kaidan murmured to Shepard. “Have you noticed, there are no betas in this colony? Everyone here is either an alpha or omega.”

Shepard nodded, “I tried to scent them earlier. They smell…strange. I hadn’t been able to pinpoint why though. What do you scent?”

Frowning, Kaidan shook his head, “It just…off. Hard to explain, it’s like they can’t produce their pheromones properly. I scented panic everywhere, which I expected, but it wasn’t quite…right.”

“It smelled mouldy, like wet dirt but there was something almost sweet there. The colonists aren’t the only thing in that area.”

Shepard and Kaidan blinked, then stopped to look back at the amused turian, scenting each other’s surprise.

“What? Are humans the only ones who can smell things around here?” he clucked.

“Yeh, laugh it up Garrus,” Shepard snorted. “So, not just humans and the geth. That will be something to worry about after the geth are taken care of.”

Walking to the elevator, the four of them stepped inside. Shepard took the time to sneak a look at Kaidan; the omega seemed to awaken some of his suppressed but admittedly, natural alpha tendencies. Which a capable military omega like the lieutenant did _not_ need. He resisted the urge to slap his forehead; there’d be time to sort out his emotions later. Maybe ask Chakwas for a stronger dose of his suppressants?

Emerging into the garage, Shepard was pleased to see the Mako waiting for them, the infantry vehicle as reliable as always. The marines that had driven it up to the skyway saluted Shepard and he nodded acknowledging them. They left to stand guard at the elevator.

“Garrus, you’re on the turret. Kaidan, Tali, in the back,” Shepard grinned suddenly, “I’m driving.”

Tali’s sigh was audible to even the marines, and they chuckled from their post. “Just don’t drive over the edge Shepard.”

“Hey, you all survived the last trip with me! Besides, it’s no challenge for such fine upstanding soldiers such as yourselves.”

"Well, that's very comforting. Certain death for some, fine for us," Kaidan’s reply was dry, causing the commander to chuckle at him. Kaidan steadfastly ignored the flutter in his chest from the sound.

\---

Twisting above a sea of clouds, lay the skyway; the fact that they were still suspended after 50,000 years was a tribute to the mastery of the protheans. It would have been beautiful if not for the constant burst of fire from the geth. The small geth squadrons proved no match for the Mako’s artillery and were soon dispatched without worry.

As they cruised the ancient skyway, the Mako’s radio began to pick up bits and pieces of radio transmissions.

_“You owe us for this,”_ the radio crackled at one point.

Shepard growled at the call, “Kaidan, get on that radio. Find out who that is.”

Slipping into the chair, Kaidan fiddled with the controls, trying to get a lock on it.

_“Package is secure. Out”_ He frowned as it proved momentarily elusive, the Mako jolting as it rolled over some geth. Kaidan rolled his eyes at the commander’s whoop, pheromones projecting his amusement.

“Shepard, we’re picking up some civilian communications. Trying to get a lock.”

Nodding, Shepard just grinned as yet another geth was run over, the Mako efficient as ever. Garrus gave a victory trill over from the Mako’s turret systems; a nicely aimed burst from the accelerator cannon took care of yet another geth armature.

_“Wait…shut down the comm!”_ That wasn’t right, the communications were becoming more frantic. Though, finally, the radar blipped, signalling the position of the men.

_“We got incoming geth! Shut down the comm - ”_

Kaidan swore as the signal dropped off but, “Commander! I’ve tracked down the source of the communications. They’re coming from a side tunnel ahead.”

Shepard nodded, pulling the Mako over. “Garrus, stay on that turret. Tali, Kaidan, let’s see if we can help them.”

Helmets on, they stepped outside. Here, the wind howled at them, a reminder of how high the platform was. Kaidan grimaced as he noted just how decrepit the skyway was; it been unnoticeable inside the Mako as the small element zero core helped stabilised the crew but out here it was easy to see how the skyway twisted and turned. Some parts of the skyway were practically on its side, the support structures lost.

Unholstering his pistol, Kaidan followed Shepard and Tali to the small entrance. Shepard silently signalled them to his six. When they were in position he nodded, carefully walking down the access point towards the internal tunnel. Just ahead lay a prone body. Shepard signalled Kaidan to check them while he took point, Tali taking up the six.

Kneeling, Kaidan ran his omni-tool diagnostics. He shook his head at Shepard as the check completed; it never got easier seeing dead civilians.

A metallic clang took their attention immediately, guns snapping towards it. Kaidan concentrated, his biotic field becoming visible as he extended it, wrapping himself in a blue barrier.

Three geth troopers stood at the other end of the underpass, investigating a crate. There was another lifeless body lying near, the synthetics ostensibly having already killed them.

No warning was given; two well-timed sabotages killed all their shielding instantly. Focussing, Kaidan extended the biotic field, dark energy grasping at the troopers and _lifting_ them. It seemed effortless, done within the space of a second, the product of years of training. Shepard and Tali’s shotguns took out two troopers almost instantaneously, the third requiring a few more shots from his pistol.

“All clear commander,” Kaidan murmured, relaxing slightly. The radar from the Mako would tell them if anymore hostiles were incoming.

“Let’s see what was so important that these two lost their lives over it,” Shepard muttered, walking over to the crate. He waved Tali over when he noticed the decryption on it went beyond his basic knowledge. Her fingers flew over her omni-tool and the crate popped open.

He frowned at the contents; a collection of credit chits, an omni-tool upgrade and some kind of grenade?

“I think it’s a kind of nerve gas,” Shepard said after studying one. “A paralytic agent, could be useful.”

“Surely that wasn’t worth dying over?” Tali looked back at the broken body lying on the floor.

“Greed is a good motivator sometimes,” Kaidan agreed.

“Come on, back to the Mako. We’ll relay the coordinates to the colonists when we get back from the headquarters.”

They were a bit more subdued after that, efficiently eliminating hostiles from within the safety of the armoured vehicle. It didn’t take long to reach the Headquarters.

The Mako’s radio crackled once more as they came within view of Exogeni HQ. This time it was Ashley’s voice, _“Fenrir Actual, the geth transmitter has been destroyed and water has been restored to the colony. Over.”_

“Good work Valkyrie Actual. Fenrir Squad will proceed to Exogeni HQ. Anticipate radio silence. Continue restoring the colony. Over.”

_“Copy that Fenrir Actual. Out.”_

“Looks like the geth are settling in nicely,” Kaidan dryly remarked, eyeing off the geth dropship that was attached to the side of the tower. He frowned as he fiddled with the comm system, the radar going static. “Commander, this area has jamming. We won’t be able to contact Valkyrie squad or the Normandy beyond this point.”

Shepard nodded, acknowledging the information. “Let’s be quick about it then.”

\---

Squad Fenrir fought through several geth squads, a suddenly active geth armature and a krogan, but they were finally at the heart of Exogeni Headquarters. Garrus set himself up, sniper rifle trained down the hall. Tali easily hacked the company’s VI, fingers flying over the console. Kaidan looked on with the slight jealousy that only another tech expert could have but busied himself with copying the company’s research onto his own omni-tool.

“Shepard, the VI is ready to answer any questions,” Tali called.

Nodding, Shepard jogged back over to her, “Tell me what information the previous user was attempting to access.”

**“Subject Species 37; the Thorian. An unusual indigenous sentient plant species. It can control other organisms through the dispersion and inhalation of pheromone spores. It is estimated to be at least 2,000 years old.”**

Shepard let out a low whistle, “Hell of a long time for a plant. What other information can you give me?”

**“Exogeni’s purpose on Feros was the study of Species 37. The goal of the Zhu’s Hope outpost was the research and possible application of synthetic pheromones on the population of human alphas and omegas. Betas have proven resistant to the creature’s spores and have been removed from the experiment. All sensors monitoring the observation post at Zhu’s Hope have been inactive for several cycles. Before sensors went offline, 85% of the control group was successfully infected.”**

“They deliberately let this Thorian infect the colonists,” Kaidan growled, his pheromones briefly flaring with quickly tempered anger. “It must have been what we scented back at the colony!”

Shepard nodded agreeing with the omega, before returning his attention to the VI, “Where is it located?”

**“Species 37 is located within the substructure of the Zhu’s Hope outpost.”**

“Fuck, we have to warn Valkyrie squad,” Shepard snarled, pheromones betraying his worry. His attention turned back to the drop ship attached through the wall. “The sooner we get rid of that geth ship, the better.”

“But why are the geth here? What could Saren possibly want with this thing?” Kaidan shook his head, the pieces of the puzzle were just not falling into place.

Shepard stopped and frowned at the geth ship, the ‘legs’ firmly attached through the docking bay. “We’ll think about that later. Any ideas for this hunk of junk?”

“Well I don’t think grenades are gonna cut it,” Garrus intoned dryly, mandibles clicking in irritation as he studied the claw.

“Garrus? You have demolition training, right?”

“Yes, but I don’t generally carry that many explosives with me. A door or wall, no problem…that claw…no,” the turian shook his head.

“The Normandy has ordinances on board?” Kaidan suggested.

“Not enough time,” Shepard frowned, pheromones projecting his growing frustration. “Plus there is also the issue about structural integrity, cause these ruins aren’t exactly stable. Fuck…”

“Shepard,” Tali broke through their conversation, she had been hacking away at a console, searching for more information, “I think I found who backs Exogeni. It appears to be an organisation called Cerberus.”

“Cerberus? Anything else?”

Tali nodded, “Cerberus paid the employee’s here a lot of money to complete their experiments. This doctor’s entry mentions shipments being sent out to Chasca, in the Matano system.”

Shepard nodded, “A lead to follow up with later.”

“Also, I think I solved our claw problem,” Tali turned, the glee evident in her voice. “No explosives required.”

“Where’s the fun in that?” Garrus dryly remarked, Shepard throwing him a grin.

Kaidan almost swore he saw her eyes rolling behind her mask. “The maintenance logs mention that the hangar door has been malfunctioning. All we need to do is rig the door to close and it’ll have enough force to break that claw in two.”

“Get it done Tali.”

Nodding she turned back to the console, fingers flying easily over the holographic keyboard. In a few mere seconds, she was finished, turning around to look at her work. The hangar door suddenly snapped closed, crushing the geth claw easily.

“Nice Tali!” Shepard crowed.

_“- andy to Fenrir Squad. Normandy to Fenrir Squad, oh god tell me you’re out there,”_ As the claw broke away, Joker’s voice crackled over their comm systems.

Frowning, Shepard addressed the frantic pilot, “Normandy, this is Fenrir Actual, state the problem. Over.”

_“Oh, fuck am I glad to hear your voice! Look, something weird is happening to the colonists,”_ Joker’s voice sounded stressed. _“Valkyrie Squad reported that the colonists turned violent on them suddenly and retreated to the Normandy. The colonists followed and are now banging on the hull. Shepard…it's like they’re possessed or something, trying to literally claw their way inside. Over.”_

“Do not engage Joker, repeat do not engage. The Normandy can take whatever the colonists can throw at her. We are on our way back to the colony. Fenrir Actual Out.”

“Who wants to bet that the geth are attacking the Thorian hmm?” Garrus looked at the other three who were already walking back towards the Mako. “No-one? Naww, missing an easy bet.”

“Too easy Garrus,” Shepard chuckled, pheromones projecting his confidence. “Though it looks like those grenades we found will come in handy.”

\---

The return trip along the skyway only saw some token geth resistance. Just outside the last checkpoint, Shepard rolled the Mako to a stop, squinting as he spotted something unusual ahead. It looked like someone hunched over. One of the colonists perhaps?

Exiting the Mako didn’t make the figure acknowledge them. Shepard looked at Kaidan who shrugged. The commander silently waved him forward, discreetly cocking his gun.

Walking closer, Kaidan attempted to scent it, Shepard doing the same. They looked at each other, both reaching the same conclusion; that thing wasn’t human.

Its bones cracked sickeningly as it curled up from its position on the ground, the thing snapped its exposed teeth as it seemingly scented the air. It looked like a horrific burn victim; ‘skin’ stretched tightly over its stiff body, mouth in a permanent pantomime of a lewd grin. Lurching towards them, the creature was sloppy in its gait. But that’s not what Kaidan found most horrific about it.

It had no eyes. Just dark empty sockets, sunken into its skull.

A horrendous screech escaped its grotesque mouth, spittle flying out; its hands began to grope out towards them, wicked claws outreached as it broke into a staggering run.

Tali’s shotgun rang out, the creature jerking from the force, propelled backwards where Shepard’s own shotgun obliterated the creature’s face. It twitched once, spewing out foul smelling gunk, then stilled.

“What the fuck was that?!” Snarling, Shepard walked towards the prone body, kicking slightly and grimacing when green muck covered his boot.

Kaidan quickly scanned the corpse with his omni-tool, frowning at the analysis. “It’s a plant.”

“…What?” his pheromones clearly projected his disbelief, so much so that Kaidan had to resist laughing.

“A plant.” Kaidan frowned, “You know, the isn’t Thorian is a plant too, isn’t it? What if it created them?”

Shepard was prevented from replying when the door suddenly opened. A hoard of hunched figures lay beyond. A cursed symphony of cracks and inhuman moans accompanied the gruesome sight; something that none of them would be forgetting soon. Shepard’s pheromones flared, the metallic scent strengthening as his battle lust surged, roaring as his shotgun ripped through the creatures. Kaidan concentrated on equalling the alpha out; to enable the commander to still think clearly.

Shepard blinked, seemingly taking in the sheer number of creatures for the first time, “Oh…fuck. Everyone back in the Mako!”

They scrambled a retreat towards the armoured vehicle, Shepard’s shotgun still ringing out as he walked backwards, refusing to step inside until the other three were secured. Hopping in, the commander slammed the door closed. Garrus was already on the turret, machine gun blaring as it ripped through the creature’s bodies. A final burst from the mass accelerator cannon made short work of the remaining throng. Smoke rose from area, a now silent graveyard.

“And I thought just the one was bad,” Tali muttered.

“No choice,” Shepard muttered. “We have to leave the Mako here and proceed on foot. Equip anti-personnel rounds, if there’s more of those fucking things we’re gonna need them.”

\---

There was only one good thing about reaching Zhu’s Hope; none of those “creepers” were present. Instead what they faced was somehow worse.

Frenzied and desperate, the alpha colonists opened fire, howling with wild eyes. Taking cover behind the cement walls, they waited for the alpha’s guns to overheat. Their screams tore through Kaidan like shards of glass, making him shudder at their inhuman sounds.

“Remember! Avoid casualties!” Shepard ordered, throwing a nerve grenade towards them once there came a break in the gunfire. Kaidan found himself holding his breath in anticipation as it detonated in front of them; would it work? He breathed in relief when they slid slowly to the ground, unconscious.

Shepard motioned for Kaidan to check on the downed civilians and he darted forward, knowing the squad had his six. Kneeling, he quickly checked their vitals, a relieved sigh escaping him when he found them relatively normal and signalled a thumbs up.

Nodding, Shepard turned and directed Tali and Garrus into position, Shepard taking point. Kaidan focussed his pheromones towards the commander, sweetly mellow countering metallic; Shepard grinning his approval at the rush of omega pheromones sharpening his wits.

Walking back into Zhu’s Hope itself was nauseating though; the earthy scent from before was almost overpowering now and a repulsive scent of decay hung in the air. Kaidan fought back his gag reflex, concentrating on covering Shepard’s ass, though most of what they could do without harming the civilians was try to get close to them to knock them out. There was a finite supply of the grenades and Shepard tried to limit them to groups of the raging colonists.

There was one more problem though; Kaidan’s pheromones had no effect on the feral alphas. They scented so _wrong_ , their own scents had mutated into something not quite human. The Thorian had them completely in its grasp.

Concentrating on the feral alphas that had rushed towards them, Kaidan almost missed one omega huddling off to the side. He recognised them as one of the omegas he had calmed earlier, the shouts of the alphas fading into the background as he attempted to get close. Looking up through wild bangs, the omega met Kaidan’s eyes. He frowned, contemplating how to handle them when the omega opened its mouth to shriek, a howl that he would not forget. It pierced through his mind, made his blood run cold and for a moment he froze. Unable to move, Kaidan watched in slow motion, as the omega lurched towards him.

A sickening crunch sounded as Tali rammed the butt of her shotgun across the back of their head, the omega crumbling instantly to the floor.

Shaking himself free of the momentary paralysis, he nodded his thanks. It had been many years since he had froze like that, he had thought he had trained it out of himself. Maybe that it was another omega, or the lack of effect from his own pheromones had caused it? Mentally shrugging and deciding to focus on it later, Kaidan turned his attention back to the commander; he scented Shepard’s confidence and joy while detonating another set of grenades successfully. So far there were no civilian casualties.

Jogging to catch up with the commander and Garrus, Kaidan gasped when they rounded the next corner.

It was Fai Dan. His body jerked as he walked towards them, as if trying to move in two directions at once. Shepard growled lowly, a warning; there were no grenades left.

“I tried to fight it, tried to fight, you can't imagine the pain, it gets in your head like annnnnts, crawling crawling inside,” the civilian alpha gasped, eyes bulging as he stared at his own hand raising a gun against them. Kaidan tried to extend his pheromone field, tried to help but he knew it was a useless gesture. “It wants me to stop you, stop you from it. Stooooooooop.”

Fai Dan’s eyes bulged as his hand grabbed his own wrist, tugging the gun towards his own head, “I won’t let it, won’t won’t won’t, I WON’T!”

A feral scream accompanied the gun shot, the alpha’s body slumping against the cold concrete floor.

“Fuck!” Shepard’s pheromones told Kaidan all he needed to know; the sudden sour whiff of horror had him wrapping the commander in his own soothing pheromones, had him breathing deep to settle his own racing heart. Tali’s gasp made him wish that his pheromones could console her too, instead Kaidan walked up to her, offering physical comfort instead. She accepted it, leaning into his body as he held her tight, a solace to them both.

Garrus bowed his head, a turian salute showing his admiration of the fallen man.

With a shudder, Shepard raised his hand to contact the Normandy, his eyes closed, “Valkyrie Actual, we have neutralised the colonists,” Shepard addressed Ashley directly, pleased at how even his voice was. “Come in and secure Zhu’s Hope. Check the civilians for injury and restrain if necessary. Bring a body bag. Over.”

_Acknowledged. What will be your location? Over.”_

“We’re going to find what Saren came here for. We’re heading under Zhu’s Hope, so stay on the comm channel. Out.”

Looking down the stairs that lead into the heart of the ruins, Shepard readied his shotgun. “Assume hostiles.”

\---

The colony had been a nightmare but at least most of the colonists would live. What they found below had somehow been worse.

The Thorian was massive, its tendrils spread out among the ruins of Feros. Over 50,000 years old, as old as the protheans’ death and inside it lay the key to understand the vision Shepard had gained on Eden Prime. Its own death provided the answers in why Saren had been to the stinking ruins of Feros and why the geth attacked; to stop him from gaining the Cipher. If Saren needed the Cipher, then _he_ needed the Cipher, and thus he consented to Shiala touching his mind.

His last memory before the asari touched his mind was of Kaidan’s worried pheromones, strangely soothing to him.

Her eyes went black, they looked like eternity.

He could _feel_ her; she’s afraid.

The Cipher was not gentle; a metallic shriek careening through his mind. He was helpless in his cage of pain, slashes throbbing violently through his skull, threatening to crack his head open.

He couldn’t scream, he could only gasp for breath; it was excruciating, debilitating and…

And as suddenly as it began, it stopped. He was alone in his mind again.

Shepard blinked, disorientated. The asari was too close to him. It was only Kaidan’s pheromones that stopped him from snarling at her. Stopped him from striking her. It took all his willpower to step back, to keep his arms at his sides.

“Commander! What just happened?” Kaidan strode up to the alpha, resisting his own urge to snarl at the asari. He waved her back but then had to concentrate on Shepard, making sure he was projecting calming pheromones, omni-tool scanning the alpha. He calmed himself as it showed the commander’s vitals rapidly returning to normal.

John shook his head, clearing himself of the lingering traces of pain, signalling to Kaidan that he okay for the moment. Looking at Shiala he just muttered, “I saw…something. It still didn’t make any sense.”

“You have been given a great gift commander; the ancestral memories of the protheans.”

“Now that you’re free of the Thorian, what are you planning next?” Shepard wasn’t overly interested in what Shiala had to say, he was more concerned with the pounding of his head, wanting nothing more than to sleep.

“If you allow it I would like to stay here with the colonists. I played a role in their suffering and I wish to make amends.”

Shepard waved his agreement, already walking back to the colony above. He’d had enough of this place and he needed the medbay; he could assign Ashley to take care of any last-minute things the colonists might require.

“Come on, let’s get me back to the ship. I bet Liara wants to probe me too.”

He ignored the warmth blooming inside of him as Kaidan slung one of his arms over his uninjured side and supported his weight. The omega was his teammate, it meant nothing.

Nothing at all.

And if he kept telling himself that, maybe he’d believe it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank-you BardofHeartDive and Barbex for beta-reading this monster of a chapter!
> 
> I'm currently trying to update about once a week. At the moment I've got some gift-exchange pieces to write, so the next update may take me a little longer. Chapter 13 is already around 2k long and may -cough- feature the boys ...doing...something together. (I'm a tease...what can I say?)


	13. Old Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kaidan and Shepard finally get that chat, and someone from Shepard's past shows up. Wrex just wants a drink.
> 
>  
> 
> _TW: Derogatory Language_
> 
> _The amazing art in this chapter is done by the fabulous[mrgamblinman](http://mrgamblinman.tumblr.com/) on tumblr! Pay them a visit!_

Kaidan found himself slumped at the table in the mess hall of the Normandy, feeling fatigued. Feros had been, for lack of a better word, horrifying. For the moment, Kaidan found himself indulging on one of his more…unusual habits. The open container of freeze-dried coffee was his own and he dipped a spoon in, eating the beans raw. He sucked thoughtfully on the spoon, holding it in his mouth as he enjoyed the bitter coffee. In way he was fortunate, his biotics soaking up the caffeine readily without giving him jitters. He barely gave a thought to the familiar alpha that was coming up behind him, as used to the commander’s presence as he was. As he turned around to greet the man, Kaidan redipped his spoon into the coffee pot, the spoon halfway to his mouth before meeting Shepard’s eyes; he had to hold in a snort at Shepard’s expression.

His commander’s nose was crinkled unlike he had ever seen before, his brow creased in a way that was just plain adorable.

They paused, looking at each other. Kaidan popped the coffee into his mouth, chewing slowly before swallowing.

“Hey Commander,” the omega laughed at the rare dumbfounded expression. “What can I do for you?”

Shepard shook himself, before taking a seat, ignoring the coffee eating, “Kaidan, just wanted to check in with you and see how you’re holding up?”

“I’m good commander.” Kaidan placed the coffee on the table. “The last mission was tough but nothing we haven’t seen before.”

“You know you can call me John, right?”

Kaidan quickly found himself hiding a bashful smile, working hard to lock his pheromones down tight. “Sorry, protocol’s hard to shake sometimes, you know?”

“I know what you mean. Say, got some spare time?”

Kaidan nodded, waving for Shepard to continue.

“So…we haven’t really had time to chat since Edolus…”

“It’s okay comman - John. I understand.”

Shepard raised an eyebrow.

“Look, John…it was a tense situation and with the number of pheromones I was pumping out, well you were acting on instinct and I guess…so was I.”

“It wasn’t just that though was it?” Shepard studied Kaidan’s face, trying to pinpoint if he was wrong about the omega. His inner alpha and gut instincts told him he wasn’t. “Kaidan, if I may…I’d like to get to you know better, get to know you beyond just being in combat together.”

“You make it a habit to get this personal with your entire crew?” Kaidan didn’t know if the commander was aware his body language was presently quite dominant, an alpha wanting something; if he’d been a lesser man, he might have quaked at the unblinking stare.

Shepard sighed, breaking the gaze, “No, you’re right, not this personal. Look it’s okay, if you’re uncom - ”

“Its okay Shepard.” For once, Kaidan felt shy. “I’d like that. A lot.”

They sat together, in a comfortable silence. John found himself searching for something to say to the omega, to hear his voice. Finally he decided to just ask something that had been on his mind since before Feros.

“So Kaidan, how is it I never saw you in the N7 program?”

Kaidan’s brow wrinkled and Shepard couldn’t help but laugh at the expression. “Don’t look so surprised Kaidan. I’ve read your files, steady promotions, special commendations. Hell, you’re more than a capable soldier. So why is it that you were never offered a place?”

“I was actually.” Kaidan awkwardly reached behind to rub his neck. “But I have an L2 implant and they’re deemed as a ‘health risk’ and I don’t want it upgraded.”

“Yeh Chakwas told me a little about it. How many biotics are there with abilities like yours?”

Kaidan shrugged, absurdly grateful that Shepard hadn’t asked about his status as an omega (though he knew it was bound to come up directly at some point). “Statistics are iffy, though I know I’m pretty lucky actually. The side effects the L2 implants are pretty minor if you consider the brain tumours and various other birth defects that other kids have had to deal with,” he snorted, then shook his head. “First, you start glowing blue and then the next thing you know, you’re shipped out to the ass end of the galaxy.”

“Gagarin Station, right? That’s where the first viable generation of biotics went?”

“Yeh, out on Jump Zero. You know, how’s a kid supposed to deal with that? A station at the edge of human space…”

“You must have had friends there, kids like yourself?”

“You mean the other biotics? Yeh, there were lots of other kids there. We knew each other pretty well by the end of it, lots of late night chats. No extranet, enforced curfews and a sterile research platform tended to do that.”

“Lots of teenagers coming of age in the same place with nothing to do? I can think of a few ways to pass the time,” Shepard added with a wink.

“I’m not the sort to do that commander, not lightly at least.” The media portrayed some omegas as quite promiscuous, and though there was nothing wrong with that, Kaidan himself needed a connection with someone before sleeping with them. It did mean that his list of past partners was quite short, but he was content in that each one of them had _meant_ something. Though he did wonder...was that what Shepard saw him as?

“Ah, my apologies Kaidan, that was...I didn’t think that one through.” He frowned as he scented the slight vinegary tang of a hurt omega assaulting him. _Fuck, I’ve hurt him, fuck, I’m an idiot!_

Kaidan shook his head, waving off the apology, “There’s no need John.”

Shepard’s alpha instincts screamed at him to protect the omega from the hurt, but how? _He_ was the one who made him hurt. Figuring he’d ignore the scent for the moment, he steered the conversation onto another topic. “Tell me more about Jump Zero; Conatix doesn’t exactly exist anymore and the Alliance hasn’t made it easy for me to access any of those records.”

A little half-smile tugged at the biotic’s lips, the vingerary scent lessening. “No, the Alliance doesn’t want anyone to know about their mistakes.”

“No, they really don’t. You know, I actually couldn’t get full access to your records until I became a Spectre?”

“Doesn’t surprise me comm – John.” Kaidan smiled sadly. “I know I said earlier that Conatix didn’t make it easy for kids to get to know each other. But well, it went a little bit deeper than that. They had a theory that biotics were linked to our emotions and to get the most out of our biotics, we had to control our emotions.” Kaidan shook his head, making sure his pheromones were tightly under control; thinking about it still made him feel angry sometimes. “Pheromone blockers were only the first step. Then they isolated us from our families and friends from earth, made us feel like they had abandoned us. Wasn’t hard to do without access to the extranet. Most of us had already encountered some sort of prejudice already. We were scary, unnatural and quite frankly, freaks.”

Shepard’s eyes widened as he took in the implications; pheromone blockers should only be used on fully developed adults, not teenagers. It had had the potential to desocialise those teenagers to the point of becoming emotionless; unable to control their pheromones at all when they reached adulthood and thus unable to effectively communicate with their peers, rendering them essentially scent-blind. The potential health risks were staggering.

“It didn’t work on me, just made me more angry than I already was actually.” Kaidan’s sad smile pulled at the scar that ran across his lips.

“You, angry? Can’t really imagine that.” Shepard resisted reaching out to touch the omega’s lips, instead pointing to his own. “Is that where you got those scars?”

Chuckling, Kaidan nodded. “At the end of it, you came out either a superman or a wreck. A lot of kids snapped. A few died. Some just disappeared, there one night and gone in the morning.”

John mentally shuddered as he realised that Kaidan’s pheromones weren’t changing. He didn’t seem in distress at recalling his memories of BAaT but he wasn’t feeling anything either; Shepard realised Kaidan was tightly controlling himself. He resisted the urge to hold the omega close, to kiss him and beat off anything that might threaten him.

“So, was there anyone special there?” Shepard fought to control his pheromones, the simple question igniting a spark of jealousy within the alpha. He desperately hoped Kaidan didn’t notice.

“There was one, she was a beta. Her name was Rahna…and well, Conatix didn’t exactly make it easy to get close to the other kids,” Kaidan smiled self-depreciatively. “Don’t worry about it Shepard, that’s my past but I’ve dealt with it.”

John nodded, pheromones tightly under control again, his courage gathering at what he was about to ask. “So, when we dock at the Citadel, would you care to have a drink with me? What I said earlier was inappropriate and I’d like to make it up to you.”

“A drink eh?”

“Just a drink. There’s this lovely gentleman’s club down in the Wards that I think you’d appreciate.”

\---

The Presidium was beautiful. Kaidan had missed visiting the last time the Normandy had docked, due to a migraine. It curved before them, magnificent and pristine; an utopia if Kaidan ever saw one.

“Big place,” Kaidan murmured to himself. He smiled as he caught the commander laughing to himself, the man’s pheromones sweet in genuine mirth.

“Right, I’ve sent Pressly up to the Chambers to inform Kahoku of some of our findings on Feros. Hopefully the Admiral might have more information on Cerberus.” Shepard turned to smile at Kaidan, his scent welcoming. “Feeling up to that drink about now? We deserve it after Feros, and especially how I treated you earlier.”

Ashley laughed, the two of them had forgotten she was there. “Well, since we’re off duty, I need to replace some things I lost on Eden Prime. A girl’s gotta look her best! Catch you back on the Normandy.” Ashley made sure Kaidan saw her wink as she left the men alone, making the commander’s eyebrow raise.

Kaidan just sighed at her retreating back.

“What’s that about?”

“Nothing, Shepard,” Kaidan quickly replied. “Nothing at all. Let’s go get that drink.”

They walked easily along the Presidium, chatting idly as they approached one of the many elevators. The lake gleamed, a beautiful blue that mirrored the ‘sky’ above, reminding Kaidan of summers back at his family’s orchard in Vancouver. The mass relay monument looming out of the lake, neatly broke the illusion.

“Huh, do you hear that low hum?” Kaidan murmured, eyeing it off as they strolled by it on the way to the Wards. “It makes my teeth tingle.”

“Probably just your imagination,” Shepard shrugged, but activated his omni-tool regardless. “Picking nothing up here and I can’t feel or hear anything.” He smiled at the other man. “Come on, this way.”

Resisting the urge to take the omega’s hand, the commander led Kaidan to a nearby elevator. “Just a warning though Kaidan, these things take forever.” _Though any time with you is amazing._

The doors opened to reveal a familiar figure.

“Wrex?” Shepard blinked, surprised to find the krogan standing there.

“Shepard,” the krogan biotic nodded. “Alenko.”

“Where are you headed?”

“Just down to the Wards. Need some new mods and then maybe a drink.”

The two humans entered the elevator and the ride was silent for a few moments before Kaidan piped up, “You know Wrex, you’re not what I expected from a krogan.”

“Right, because humans have such a wide range of cultures and attitudes but krogan all think alike.”

“Whoa…I didn’t mean…I guess…ah forget about it,” Kaidan’s pheromones broadcasted his slight embarrassment and Shepard found himself chuckling.

The krogan snorted, clearly amused, “Done.”

Once more the elevator was silent, the only sound breathing and that annoying background music. John did his best to try and shut it out, Kaidan’s pheromones fading back to normal. 

Unexpectedly, it was Wrex who broke the silence. “You know Alenko, you’ve got some impressive biotic powers. Humans never should have switched to the weaker L3 implants.”

Kaidan blinked, clearly surprised at the roundabout compliment from the krogan warrior. Especially considering Wrex was a biotic himself. “I’m probably one of the lucky L2 biotics to be honest, my headaches can get pretty bad. The L3’s are safer.”

“Headaches?” Shepard raised his eyebrow and Kaidan shrugged. “That’s not what Chakwas told me.”

“Heh, better than the inoperable brain tumours or psychotic episodes.” The human biotic gave a dry chuckle.

The short barking laugh from Wrex startled the two humans, “You don’t stop using a gun just because it has a little kickback.”

“More than a little kickback Wrex.” A raised eyebrow and sweet pheromones told Shepard that the omega was amused.

Then the elevator gave a little _ding!_ and all three of them exited into the Wards, John grateful to be away from the awful ‘music’.

Turning the corner towards Chora’s Den, Shepard froze, his entire demeanour changing in an instant; the almost carefree man replaced by the stern commander. He growled at a figure hovering near the entryway and Kaidan found himself tensing, alpha pheromones thick in the air. Wrex snorted, the scent of _aggressive_ human filling his nostrils.

“They told me it was you, but I didn’t believe it,” the alpha let out a huff. “Little John Shepard, all grown up into a soldier.” The man looked dangerous, displaying classic dominant alpha body language. Somehow, even leaning nonchalantly against the wall, the man managed to look down at them.

John’s eyes narrowed, recognising the alpha lounging about. “An impatient soldier Finch. What are you doing here?” He didn’t want to admit it, but the man was still slightly impressive, looking ‘down’ at a krogan without fear.

“Just thought I’d check up on little John Shepard.” Finch’s haughty voice made Kaidan’s hackles rise. “You know, it seems you’ve forgotten all about us. None of the vids ever mention your gang history.”

Kaidan raised a single eyebrow but beyond that, his face didn’t betray what he was thinking. Shepard resisted rolling his eyes while one of Wrex’ hands crept subtly towards his shotgun.

“We just want a favour Shepard. For old times’ sake. See if you remember your old friends from the Tenth Street Reds.” Finch spoke the name of the gang like it should mean something. The way Shepard tensed, infinitesimal to most people but glaring to Kaidan, that name meant something to the commander.

“Stop playing around Finch and get to the damn point,” Shepard didn’t quite succeed at keeping the growl out of his voice. He scented Kaidan’s pheromones though, a slight honeyed hint to it, trying to subtly calm him down. Unfortunately, it also got the attention of Finch.

“So, who’s that little omega there? Finally got yourself a nice little cock-sleeve Shepard?” Finch turned predatory eyes on Kaidan, clearly expecting him to submit. Kaidan growled at the gaze and Finch took a step back without thinking.

“Need to collar that little bitch Shep -” He choked off with a grunt as Shepard grasped his shirt collar, pulling the alpha towards him. Kaidan smoothed his facial expressions, Shepard scented metallic and leather; pure dominance. If he moved, the lieutenant knew he could spark a dominance battle between the two alphas. For the moment though, John was handling the situation, which was good, because regs prevented the use of his pheromones against a civilian unless it was absolutely necessary.

“You dare talk to one of my crew members like that and I swear I’ll shoot you here.” The growl that Shepard let loose was impressive, even Wrex looked vaguely surprised.

Finch pushed Shepard off him, “Damn Shepard. Never thought I’d see that day that you turned into a damn xenofaggot and omega-whipped. Fuck.” Drawing himself up, he puffed his chest out and threw his hands on his hips; classic alpha posturing. Kaidan watched the scene play out as if he was bored and suppressed a chuckle as his non-reaction seemed to infuriate the alpha more, smoky pheromones flooding the corridor. Wrex also looked bored, watching the two humans with seeming disinterest.

“Fine Shepard,” Finch growled, seeing that his bravado was having little effect. “Guess we’ll skip the pleasantries. This is what we want from you; one of our members is stuck in a turian cell. Heard that you have some pull with the xenos. We’re just asking you to pull a little for us.”

Shepard seemed to consider what the alpha was saying, nodded and seemingly relaxed, alpha pheromones easing. “Tell me what you need Finch.”

Kaidan did his best to reel in his disbelief. It was too quick a turn around for the normally tenacious alpha. Shepard wouldn’t back down for a civilian. Would he?

Finch sneered, crossing his arms. “One of the Reds, Curt Weisman, got picked up by turians a few days ago.” He shook his head, “Poor guy probably just had a little bit of red sand on him. We just want you to talk to the guard, get him out.”

“You’re not asking for a jailbreak, are you?”

“No, just put a little bit of the good ol’ Shepard charm on the guard.” Finch projected his alpha pheromones, smoky and ominous. “Just remember, you might not run with the Reds anymore, but you don’t want us as your enemy.”

“I haven’t forgotten Finch.” Shepard’s pheromones were strangely neutral. “Don’t worry, I’ll take care of it.”

Motioning to his current squad, they moved away from the gang member. Striding efficiently towards C-Sec, the group was silent. Kaidan was worried; he’d known that Shepard had been part of a gang on earth, though who didn’t? It was part of his public record but to cooperate with them? Something was off and he was sure his pheromones were rightly telling the commander so.

“So, Shepard…can you enlighten us on why we’re cooperating with this thug?” Kaidan murmured as they strode across the passageway to Chora’s Den.

“We’re not.”

Kaidan exchanged a confused glance with Wrex, though it was the krogan who spoke, “Then what are we doing Shepard?”

“Going to talk to that turian guard.”

“Ah…makes sense.” Kaidan was almost sheepish in his answer.

“What, you doubting me, Kaidan?” Shepard laughed at Kaidan’s expression. “Thought you knew me better than that by now.” _Fuck, but that omega is gonna be the death of me. He’s fucking adorable._

Shepard shook himself, made himself focus on the new mission. Hopefully, he’d be able to salvage some of the time with the Lieutenant afterwards.

\---

Entering Chora’s Den, Shepard ignored the asari dances and activated his omni-tool. Scanning the patrons, he quickly located the turian guard he needed, and Shepard strode over confidently.

“Commander Shepard, Council Spectre.” Shepard waited for the turian to acknowledge him before continuing. “A human named Finch wanted me to use my authority as Spectre to free a human named Curt Weisman. Both are a part of an antixeno gang called the Tenth Street Reds. I need you to make sure that doesn’t happen.”

The turian’s mandibles flared, “That xenophobe? Ugh, should have known he’d have friends.” Tapping on his omni-tool, he turned back to the squad. “We’ll increase his guard. Thank-you for the information.”

An abrupt flare of smoky pheromones was their only warning before a gunshot rang through the club. Kaidan and Wrex already had biotic shields in place, the shots bouncing harmlessly off. Pandemonium erupted from the patrons and staff of the club. Terrified people screaming as people ducked for cover, most of them not wanting to get involved. Luckily, Wrex seemed to be the only krogan in attendance, otherwise they may have had a serious problem with crowd-control Kaidan mused.

“Knew you’d snitch on us Shepard. Fucking traitor!” The hand holding the gun was shaking from his rage. Finch snorted, fists bailed up, getting ready to strike. Kaidan subtly moved himself away from his commander, patiently waiting for Shepard’s signal, wanting to be able to focus his pheromones directly on the hostile alpha.

Shepard snorted, “Traitor? Hard to betray a loser like you.” Finally the commander signalled to Kaidan; the omega smirked, focussing his pheromones towards Finch, ready to weaken the cocksure gang leader.

Finch roared with anger, “You’d choose that weak, knot-craving omega over me?!” Abruptly the scent of jasmine infiltrated his nostrils and stole his strength. In disbelief he gawked at Kaidan, eyes bulging as the alpha found himself unable to comprehend what the omega was doing. Kaidan had to resist smirking at the wrecked alpha as he adopted a dominant alpha pose.

“How…wha - ”

“You’re a criminal Finch.” Shepard unholstered his shotgun. “You do know what Spectre’s can do to criminals right?”

Finch’s face seemed to drain of all colour, staring down the barrel of Shepard’s gun. Kaidan suppressed his own shudder; he had never heard the alpha sound so _emotionless_ before, the man’s pheromones giving the omega no clue as to what he was thinking. The Spectre gave Finch no time to beg, efficiently shooting the alpha in the face. Finch’s body recoiled; the slug tearing effortlessly through the soft tissue and bone, leaving behind a red mangled mess.

“Clean-up crew to Chora’s Den.” The turian guard blandly called in C-Sec, taking his time to look down at the human corpse, the face obliterated. He laughed, “Very impressive. Perhaps the first human Spectre will not be a disappointment after all. We’ll increase the guard on the xenophobe’s cell just in case though.”

Shepard nodded, waving the guard away. He suddenly looked exhausted. Kaidan focussed his pheromones on the commander, though all he wanted to do was hold him, encouraged when the man visibly relaxed slightly. Shepard murmured about returning to the Normandy, striding off before Kaidan could reply. Without giving it a second though, the omega followed.

“Right, now I can finally get that drink.” Wrex headed to the bar, as Chora’s Den resumed its business around him.

\---

“You wanted to see me Commander?” Kaidan frowned as he entered the room; the pheromones flooding the commander’s cabin were unusual for the alpha; full of shame. Why was Shepard ashamed?

“Yes Kaidan. I just wanted to formally apologise to you.”

“Apologise?”

“I’m just…I’m sorry you had to witness that Kaidan.”

Kaidan looked confused. John ruthlessly squashed the thought that the omega looked downright gorgeous.

“I used to be like Finch. I used to _think_ like Finch. And earlier today showed me that sometimes, I still act like him too.”

“Shepard, I…” Kaidan trailed off when John raised his hand, willing the omega to listen to him. Kaidan waited patiently for the commander to regain his train of thought.

“When I was in the Tenth Street Reds, we had omegas in the gang. They…they weren’t treated well.” Kaidan stared in disbelief, Shepard was practically swimming in guilt. “I used to think that omegas were worthless, that the only thing they were good for was as a cock-sleeve.”

Kaidan flinched at the term before he could stop himself. He’d been called that before, been _treated_ that way before, and it was not something he liked coming from the other’s mouth. Especially since Shepard was an alpha who had earned his respect beyond being his commander.

“I just want you to know that I never touched one of those omegas…” John whispered, eyes completely downturned. He just couldn’t bear to see the judgement he knew was in Kaidan’s eyes. “But I also never helped them, even though it was in my power to do so. I guess I somehow thought they deserved it. And sometimes…I think that makes me worse than Finch.”

Kaidan was silent for a moment. John almost whimpered at the thought of losing the omega but refused to meet his eyes. It was a gesture of submission almost unseen from an alpha.

“Commander…John, you’ve treated me with nothing but respect,” murmured Kaidan. “Please look at me.” Kaidan waited for the other man to comply. Once the alpha looked at him, he smiled, making sure that his body language was calm, and his pheromones were welcoming. “The alpha that I know, no, the _man_ that I know would stop at nothing to protect the weak. You’re not a part of that life anymore Shepard. And I,” Kaidan swallowed, nervous but determined, leant forward and placed a gentle kiss on the alpha’s lips. “I am honoured to be a part of your crew Shepard. There is no other place I’d rather be.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Holidays to everyone reading this! I love you all :)
> 
> A MASSIVE thank-you to BardofHeartDrive who somehow managed to beta-read this somewhere around Christmas Day. You are a wonderful person and I love you <3


	14. Cipher

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John asks Kaidan a very important question!
> 
> Tali and Shepard have a chat, then Liara mentions how she might be able to help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy new year! Sorry, this update is a bit late, life got a hold of me. Hopefully the next chapter will be a little more on time ^_^
> 
> _Also, this wonderful piece of art was done by the fucking amazing[okenkrow](http://okenkrow.tumblr.com/) on tumblr <3 _

Shepard wanted the kiss to last forever.

“Kaidan…I…” he swallowed, unsure of what to say.

For one of the first times in his life, John Shepard found himself speechless. For a short time, both just observed the other, wondering who would make the first move.

Kaidan started to look uncomfortable, pheromones projecting his unease. “Sorry Commander…this was…this was a mistake.”

He turned to leave but before he could, John found himself reaching out to grasp the other’s shoulder. “Please, Kaidan…stay a moment. It’s not a mistake. Please.”

Kaidan acknowledged his request and turned back, making eye contact with the other, his hold on his emotions breaking as he met the stormy blue eyes. _God, he’s so gorgeous._ Shepard looks at him like he’s precious, someone to cherish. It’s been a long time since anyone had looked at him like that, wanting him.

John smiled at him, raised his hand to run a thumb over the omega’s jawline, carefully avoiding any of his scent glands. Kaidan shudders, leaning into the caress.

“I’d really like to kiss you again,” he murmured, smiling when Kaidan nodded breathlessly. He pulled the omega back to him, easy to do when Kaidan wanted it as well. Pressing his lips against the other had them both sighing. Kaidan opened his mouth and John took it as an invitation, sliding his tongue inside. It felt amazing, like he’s complete and god help him, he had not wanted anyone like this in a long time.

Ending the kiss had them both panting, their pheromones mingling, each telling the other of their desires.

“I’d like to ask your permission to…to court you.” Shepard cursed his face as he felt it heating up. He wished he could look the other in the eye, but he found he could barely raise his head, afraid of what he might see in Kaidan’s face. Still afraid of rejection. Shepard found himself fidgeting with his uniform, couldn’t help himself but somehow, he knew it was okay to let himself be vulnerable around the other man.

Kaidan’s eyes went wide. Everything in Shepard’s body language screamed insecurity, his scent something he’d never come across in an alpha, especially not one of Shepard’s stature. He resisted the urge to snort, clear his mind of the slight caustic scent.

Shepard wanted him. Shepard wanted _him_.

“John,” he murmured, stepping fully into the other’s space, pressing his body up against Shepard’s. “That…is probably the kindest way I’ve ever been asked something like that.” Closing his eyes, he rested his forehead against John’s, allowing them both to breath in the scent of the other. Slowly, John relaxed, breathing in Kaidan’s unique omega pheromones, enjoying the intimate gesture the other offered.

“Allow me to scent you, Kaidan. Please,” John whispered, opening his eyes. He smiled when Kaidan’s scent peaked, vanilla arousal mixing with his masculine floral aroma.

Swallowing nervously, Kaidan nodded.

“Ask me Kaidan, please. I need it to be clear.” John’s voice was soft and low in Kaidan’s ear. The omega shivered; he felt hesitant but at the same time he wanted this. Wanted Shepard’s scent on him, a formal announcement that he was off limits to other alphas. Wanted _his_ scent on Shepard, to claim the other as his own.

Kaidan knew his decision already, had known it for some time even. “Shepard…I,” he swallowed, gathering his courage. He rubbed the back of his neck, the awkward feeling unnatural to him, “I accept your…offer of…courtship.” Kaidan closed his eyes, bowing his head to the alpha, a rare submissive gesture from him. “Please, John…scent me.”

Shepard growled, a low sound, pheromones intensifying and Kaidan held back a little moan from the pure _alpha_ invading his nostrils; leather and metal combining with earthy arousal.

Permission granted, Kaidan tipped his neck up to indulge the alpha, a vulnerable gesture that made John groan. He rubbed their noses together, before burying his nose at the space behind Kaidan’s jaw, breathing in deep at the scent glands there. A low rumble of pleasure came from deep within John’s chest, Kaidan finding himself purring in response.

“God, you smell so _good_ Kaidan.” Shepard wished he could taste the omega’s skin, but he kept a tight leash on himself. He wanted to do Kaidan right, prove himself a worthy alpha for this amazing omega. Inhaling deep the scent of the masculine omega, Shepard groaned, his cock hardening in response. Kaidan smiled, scenting the other’s arousal. It was heady, to know that he could bring this type of response out of the commander.

“Can I touch you?” John murmured into Kaidan’s neck, rubbing his cheeks into the scent gland there.

“Please,” Kaidan swallowed back a whimper as John’s hands grasped him, the scent glands in the alpha’s wrists marking the omega. A shudder ran through Kaidan’s body as John lightly nipped his jawline, his own arousal making itself known.

Their scents mingled together, though still distinct in their own way; there would be no mistake that they had laid claim to one another.

Then Shepard reared back, breathing deep. Kaidan looked up to ask what was wrong before noticing that his pupils were blown wide open. He smirked; the commander’s control was impressive. The alpha’s croon died down in volume, though the rumble in his chest was still a constant, reflecting his joy.

Swallowing hard, John looked at Kaidan, then smiled at the faint flush covering the omega’s face. It seemed the omega wasn’t as unaffected as he first seemed. “You should go, I don’t want to…We can discuss the paperwork later.”

Not trusting his voice to work, Kaidan nodded. He breathed in deep to steady himself, brought his pheromones firmly under his control again. He smiled, all at once beautiful and shy, and turned to leave, secure in the knowledge they smelled like each other.

Didn’t stop him wiggling his ass in Shepard’s direction.

And it certainly didn’t stop Shepard from admiring the view as the omega left. He inhaled deeply, enjoying the heady mix of pheromones lingering in the air. Kaidan smelled wonderful.

Shepard let his heartbeat calm and tried to will away his arousal. Unfortunately, he still had work to do and the paperwork would only keep on piling up. Shepard touched his lips and smiled; kissing Kaidan, _scenting_ him, had been all he had wanted to do since seeing the omega in action at Eden Prime.

He breathed in deep but that did nothing, all he could scent was Kaidan.

He needed to leave the cabin.

Making a bee-line to the elevator, Shepard felt distracted. Well, one that would be an understatement. He felt light, floaty, a little bit giddy and -

“Shepard, I need to talk to you.”

John Shepard would forever deny the indignant yelp that escaped his lips in that moment.

“Is everything all right commander?” Tali wrung her hands together, looking very nervous.

Shepard panted, getting his breathing back under control, “I’m going to put a bell on you Tali.”

“A bell, Shepard?” Now she sounded distressed.

“It’s okay Tali, just a figure of speech.” He made sure to smile. “It’s just, with humans, we keep track of each other through our…scents, and well, you…don’t have one. It’s taking me a while to get used to.” He then looked at her, _really_ looked at her. “Tali, are you alright?”

She fidgeted more, and Shepard led her to the mess table. Luckily it was empty. Sitting them both down, he waited for her to speak.

Tali sighed, then spoke softly, “Is my being on board the Normandy, a problem?”

“What? No, of course not Tali. What’s happened? When I talked to Adams, he was more than happy to have you aboard?” Shepard frowned, what had happened on his ship without him knowing?

“No, it’s not Adams or your engineering crew. They’ve been wonderful, more than actually. I’m still fascinated about how small your drive core is. Did you know that during our last calibrations, we found that there's a slight temperature variance in the lithium heat sinks when discharging our internal emissions?”

Shepard just blinked, then shook his head slowly.

“Well, when we looked further into the variance we found several frequency shifts and - ”

“Tali.” He interrupted her lightly.

“Yes Commander?”

“This isn’t what you wanted to talk about, was it?”

The quarian toyed with her hands again, obviously feeling uneasy about bringing the topic up.  
Shepard schooled his features, tried to make sure he looked welcoming. “Tali, it’s okay. You can trust me.”

She sighed, “It seems that some of your…crew, either don’t like me or don’t trust me.”

“Who Tali? I’ll sort them out.”

“Well I overheard…some of them talking about how they’re angry at the quarians after the attack on Eden Prime.”

A raspy snort came from around the corner, it was Wrex. “Yeh I noticed that too Tali. Some dirty looks when they think we’re not looking, conversations when they think we’re out of hearing. Krogan hearing is better than they think.” The krogan chuckled as he shook his head. The large alien planted himself behind Tali.

“But why?” Shepard found himself genuinely surprised.

“We were the ones who created the geth, so therefore we’re the ones who are...responsible for them.”

“Who said this Tali? I’ll sort them out.”

“Your navigator…the one called Pressly. He likened the Normandy to a zoo…”

Shepard felt himself growing irritated; if he said one thing and his XO said another…it undermined his authority. A low growl started under his breath and Tali fiddled with her hands nervously.

“You know my advice Tali? Eat em.” Wrex’s booming laugh easily filled the small mess hall.

“I can’t do that Wrex. Look I get that they’re angry but the geth have killed billions of quarians and forced us from our homeworld…”

“Perspective is a beautiful thing Tali. We’ll just wait until their homeworld gets wiped out eh?”

Tali found herself chuckling and relaxing slightly. “I never thought that a krogan would be on my side.”

“Don’t worry Tali. Let’s just say you’re not the only one that places like C-Sec have hauled in for a ‘friendly chat’.” The krogan chuckled as he moved towards the pantry.

“I’ll deal with it Tali,” Shepard growled. “I won’t allow this to continue. He can think what he wants but saying it is something else entirely.” He paused, making sure to look Tali in her eyes, watching her carefully through the mask. “You are valuable Tali. Don’t let anyone say you’re not.”

He swore that her eyes twinkled. “You don’t know how much that means to me Shepard. My Pilgrimage has shown me that the galaxy sees my people as second-class citizens. But you…you’ve treated me as part of your crew. As an equal. Thank-you.”

He smiled. “Any time Tali.”

She left towards Engineering and Shepard steeled himself for a chat with his XO. He didn’t particularly care what the man thought but he needed to be able to count on his executive officer to back him up.

“Hey Shepard!”

Wrex’s voice rang out from the pantry, gaining Shepard’s attention.

He snorted, “What? If we’ve run out of hot sauce, that’s too bad for you.”

The krogan walked out, the grin on his face making the alpha feel suspicious.

“Just wondering why you’re smelling like, say, a certain human. Thought you Alliance types weren’t big on, what you call it? Fraternisation?”

Shepard felt his face heat. The krogan just laughed at him as he flipped a universal gesture and turned on his heels.

One thing at a time.

\---  
It was towards the end of the day shift. Shepard had gathered the squad for a briefing regarding a mission; Hackett had informed them of some lost data module that had been used to gather intel on geth movements in the Attican Beta Cluster. Once everyone was clear on the details, he dismissed them. Wrex and Garrus immediately left but Shepard noticed Liara loitering. Kaidan was following Ashley out the door when she chose to finally speak.

“Shepard, I was hoping to have a moment with you.” Liara was quiet, but her voice carried easily. Her pheromones were light but broadcasted her unease. Kaidan stopped from the doorway, a suspicious look directed at the asari. Shepard couldn’t scent the omega’s mood but knowing the other’s man’s control, he wouldn’t.

Liara looked nervously at Kaidan. “Your crew does not trust me yet.”

Shepard shook his head, but it was Kaidan who spoke. “I trust you Liara, just not alone with John. I’ve seen how you look at the commander.”

“How I look…please believe me when I say my interest in the commander is purely professional.”

Kaidan growled lowly and Shepard decided to intervene. “Enough Kaidan,” he gently spoke and the omega stopped. “What’s wrong Liara?”

She frowned, then visibly braced herself to speak. “The cipher you received on Feros…I wanted to offer my services as a prothean expert to help you decipher your vision.”

Shepard grunted. “How are you going to help with that? The cipher hasn’t made any difference to that damn vision.”

“She’s right commander,” Kaidan murmured, pheromones indicating his concern. “We need that vision and if she…can help.”

Shepard grumbled, unwilling to admit weakness but then his head swam again, as if thoughts of the cipher summoned it. He’d been ignoring the prothean visions whirling in his mind, hoping that the cipher gained from Feros would make the beacon make sense but all he felt when he tried to access the memories, was a deep-seated sense of rage. He held his head tight until the feelings passed, lifting it to see both Liara and Kaidan looking concerned. John could scent Kaidan’s concern, though the omega’s scent slowly mellowed into a sense of calm, and he relaxed into it.

“Alright,” John turned to the asari. “How can you help?”

Liara shifted, still nervous, “I can join my mind to yours. See if I can sift through the cipher and use it to interpret your vision.”

Shepard grimaced. He still remembered the pain from last time and to be honest, he wasn’t feeling up to letting another asari inside his mind. But…if it helped…

“Alright. Do it.”

“You need to relax Commander,” Liara spoke gently, though he mentally snorted at her request. “When we meld, for a moment, we will be as one.”

Kaidan growled lowly, surprising himself and making Liara jump. Shepard turned and smiled at him, stupidly pleased that the omega seemed jealous. “It’ll be okay Kaidan.”

Liara looked lost and confused. Kaidan’s growl died off but he was still tense, ready to move if the commander needed him.

Shepard turned to Liara and nodded. “I’m ready.”

“Try to relax commander.” Liara reached out to place her hands beside his head. “Slow, deep breaths.”

Shepard closed his eyes, following the asari’s instructions. His breathing slowed, smiling slightly when he scented the floral pheromones from Kaidan, helping him.

“Let go of your physical shell. Reach out your mind, grasp the threads that bind us all.”

Liara lent forward, placing her forehead against Shepards. Her voice became low, mesmerising and John couldn’t help but feel lulled into a peace by it.

“Every action sends ripples across the galaxy. Each emotion must mark another’s spirit.”

Shepard breathed. For a moment there was only Liara, himself and the calls of a dead civilisation.

“We are all connected. Every living being united. Open yourself to the universe, Commander.”

His eyes shot open. Her eyes were black, but together they looked as one.

Once more, the memories of the protheans shrieked at him. Images, still too fast to make sense of battled in his mind. He had a vague sense of another presence, someone desperately trying to stem the tide, a rock trying to battle a tsunami. Someone, something, a prothean, desperate and deafening, driving out his own thoughts, he had to do something, his people needed him, the Reapers were coming and –

John gasped, his mind his own again. For a moment he hadn’t been _Shepard_ but the last cries of an ancient civilisation. A wave of nausea flowed through him, and he choked back a heave. Hand over his mouth, he rested on the wall, fighting the need to slide to the floor.

He breathed deeply, tried to ground himself in the now. Slowly he became aware of the two concerned figures standing by him, became aware of _Kaidan_ holding him and he breathed the omega’s scent in deep.

“I saw…something. It’s clearer but…still not…,” Shepard grunted. “Let me up.”

Liara breathed, her eyes wide, dropping herself into the nearest chair. “The vision…it's all at once beautiful and unclear. My gosh, even with the cipher…it’s meant for a prothean mind, it’s…” She stopped, closed her eyes, and tried to gather her thoughts. Kaidan resisted the urge to growl. Ashley had returned sometime, her own low growl rumbling throughout the comm room, an alpha protecting their pack leader, led to the room because of concerned omega pheromones.

Liara ignored them all.

“That was incredible Commander. It was…intense. But…the beacon on Eden Prime…it must have been damaged.” The asari placed her hands on her temple. “A large part of the vision is missing, the data transferred to your mind is incomplete.”

“So, was this a waste of time?” Ashley’s pheromones clearly projected that she was _pissed_.

“Not entirely,” Shepard snorted at the other alpha, shook his head clear before making eye contact with her. He grinned, catching her off guard, “I can think again.”

“You impress me Shepard. To have had that in your mind all this time…what you’ve been through would have destroyed a lesser mind.” Liara smiled. “I do however, have a theory about what it is we’re seeing.”

Shepard raised his eyebrow. “Continue.”

“It’s a warning. A warning about the Reapers. The protheans…they were wiped out by them. It makes so much sense!” She leapt out of her seat, scenting bright excitement. “It explains why there is remarkably little archaeological evidence of the fall of the prothean civilisation. Decades of searching have failed to produce enough evidence to convince other archaeologists that the protheans extinction was not due to environmental or socio-economic factors but an outside force, sentient machines intent on genocide!” She turned to the humans, ignoring their blank faces. "If we can find another beacon, I can fill in the gaps-" Liara's hand flew to her forehead, and she grimaced. "I am sorry, Commander. The Joining...the visions...are exhausting."

“You sure it’s not the amount of thinking going on in that head of yours?” Ashley was dry as ever, though at least her pheromones weren’t threatening anymore.

Kaidan found himself holding in a laugh, though concern for the blue alien won out. “Dr. T’soni? Do you need help?”

She shook her head. “No, I’ll go lie down if there is no more need for me here?”

Shepard nodded, “Get yourself to medbay.”

Liara left, looking grateful to leave the humans alone together.

Ashley look down at where Kaidan was still holding Shepard, then smiled. “My congratulations, Sir.” She nodded at both them. “I’m happy for both of you.”

Kaidan blushed, while Shepard laughed and held the omega closer. “Anyone ever tell you it’s rude to comment on people’s scents?”

Ash just laughed, “Didn’t need to scent you two to know what’s going on.” She turned to leave, “Right, _some_ of us still have work to do. Rifles don’t clean themselves.”

Shepard waited until Williams had left to plant a quick kiss on the omega’s lips, not trusting himself to go further. Standing up, he offered a hand to Kaidan who took it.

“If you have some spare time,” John murmured, pheromones lightly broadcasting his joy and want, “I’d love to spend some time with you, after this shift ends. Might get you to purr this time,” the alpha said with a wink.

Kaidan smiled, then nodded. “Can’t think of anything else I’d want to do more.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank-you for sticking with me so far! Also a thankyou to bardofheartdive for beta reading this! <3 Love you all!


	15. Admiral Kahoku

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Normandy has received a distress message from Admiral Kahoku and Shepard investigates.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank-you to [SomethingProfound](http://archiveofourown.org/users/SomethingProfound/pseuds/SomethingProfound) for helping me construct Shepard's backstory. Couldn't have done it without you :D Please go read their ME fanfic. It's amazingly detailed and realistic.

The view of the silvery moon from Binthu was beautiful, held jealousy close by the planet’s gravity. The planet itself was dull; no ecology to speak of, a dead world. Largely unnoticed and ignored by the rest of the galaxy.

Which is why, Kaidan supposed, a highly secret ex-black ops operation would take place there.

Kaidan let his thoughts drift back to the distress message they had received a few mere hours ago. Admiral Kahoku, whose men had been murdered by a thresher maw, had tracked down the people responsible. They were following the coordinates left by the admiral for one of their research worlds. Three bases spread out across Binthu. Three simultaneous attacks.

Shepard had spilt the tech expertise across the three squads in hope of being able to download data on this Cerberus group. Whatever they were doing, it wasn’t good. He’d placed Wrex in his squad for some biotic muscle. Ashley led Valkyrie Squad with Tali, while Garrus had Loki Squad with Liara.

His attention moved back to the commander, the Mako’s guidance system beeping as they approached their assigned base.

Shepard accessed the comm system. “All units, this is Fenrir Actual. We are in position. Over.”

_“Copy that, Fenrir Squad. Valkyrie Squad is approaching the coordinates. Over.”_ Ashley’s voice rang out over the radio.

_“Loki Squad reporting in. Ready and waiting. Over.”_ Garrus chimed in.

“Remember, we don’t want this Cerberus group to know we’re coming. Try to preserve any data you can find. Assume hostiles, this group was targeting an admiral and has already led at least one Alliance squad to their deaths. Advance on my signal. Out.”

Shepard sighed, leaning back for a moment, and closing his eyes. All that was left to do, was wait for the last squad to be in position.

“Do you think we’re gonna be able to find the Admiral? Why was he out here anyway?” Kaidan murmured, breaking the silence between the three of them.

Shepard grimaced, “Kahoku was investigating them for us.” His pheromones were musty, showing his unease at the situation. A missing admiral was nothing to scoff at.

“And now he’s gone…”

Shepard nodded.

“What are you hoping to find?” Wrex asked, idly looking at his shotgun.

“Kahoku. Research notes,” Shepard growled. “Someone to hit. These are the same assholes who authorised the fucking Thorian experiment on Feros after all.”

Kaidan nodded, rechecking his pistol for the nth time. “At least there won’t be any geth?”

Shepard snorted. “At least there won’t be geth,” he sighed. “Though, there’s less mess after fighting geth.”

Kaidan chuckled quietly, “Didn’t think you minded the mess.”

Laughing, Wrex moved from his side of the Mako, sniffed slightly. “Looking to show off for your mate?”

Shepard and Wrex observed as Kaidan’s face turned a delightful shade of red in a very short amount of time. “He’s not my mate…not yet at least.” His pheromones broadcasted a light almost-embarrassment; Shepard breathed in the delightful aroma, smiling softly at the other man.

“Heh, the way you two smell and act around each other…” Wrex snorted, shaking his massive head. “Human mating rituals. Krogan don't court...we submit breeding requests. Much more efficient that way."

Shepard opened his mouth to reply, but was interrupted by the radio crackling again, _“Valkyrie Squad in position and awaiting your signal. Over.”_

Slipping back into ‘commander’ mode, Shepard turned to face his squad; Wrex and Kaidan both nodded that they were ready. Shepard’s face turned serious, his pheromones hardening into alpha leather musk. Kaidan breathed them in deeply, letting himself enjoy it for a moment, then focussed himself into his normal calm, face cooling off.

The alpha noticed him scenting and winked at him. “All units, this is Fenrir Actual. Advance. Out.”

The twin _“Copy That”s_ from the radio sounded, and Shepard drove the Mako forward. Kaidan took aim with the mass accelerator cannon to destroy the research facilities turrets, firing with the machine guns while it reloaded. Shepard’s driving easily avoided their missiles, the terrain smooth enough that Kaidan had no trouble with his aim.

It took only three bursts from the Mako’s cannon to destroy the turrets, a pillar of fiery smoke rising from their mechanical corpses. Kaidan conducted a scan over the facility while Shepard drove the Mako forward.

“Scans confirm no hostiles commander.”

“Too easy,” murmured Wrex.

Shepard nodded, cocking his shotgun. “Well, they’ll be expecting us inside, and that’s where we’re gonna need you Wrex.”

The krogan grinned, “You bring me to the best fights”.

Shepard grinned back, pheromones flaring as he snapped his helmet on. “That’s why I love ya Wrex!”

Kaidan just sighed, unholstered his pistol and followed the two gung-ho soldiers outside.

\---  
The facility was not what they had expected. It turned out to be a laboratory, sterile and dull white; quiet as a morgue. Silently, the trio moved through the almost empty foyer, a smattering of crates and unused lab equipment scattered about.

Reaching the end of the foyer, Shepard motioned Kaidan to take one side of the far door, while he took the other, motioning Wrex to be in front. Kaidan quickly started his hacking program on his omni-tool, efficient and quick. The door slid open with a soft hiss, granting the triad a momentary clear look at the laboratory. There were numerous scientists working about, all of them covered head to toe in special hazmat suits. Kaidan tried to scent them but frowned, coming up with nothing but the bleach and chemicals used to sterilise the place. It hurt to smell them and Kaidan activated his helmet, noticing Shepard do the same.

For a moment the scientists appeared not to notice anything, transfixed by their experiments. A shimmering blue force field surrounded a cell, inside containing a creature that neither Shepard or Kaidan had never seen before.

But Wrex had.

“Those are rachni,” Wrex growled softly. The krogan then took aim with his shotgun, the force splattering a scientist’s head like a watermelon.

The next few minutes were chaos. Kaidan’s pheromones were centred on Shepard, making sure the commander’s alpha rage didn’t cloud his mind. The hazmat suits effectively prevented him from manipulating the scientists, though their low level of combat ability meant that he wasn’t needed that that regard anyway. There were few security guards, but they too were suited up in the same sterile suits, hampering their vision. Soon, most of their opposition was lying dead on the floor.

Wrex gave a roar, rushing towards one of the scientists, barrier effectively shrugging off the pistol shots. He slammed them into the wall, ripping off the mask of the suit and the stink of a terrified beta filled the room.

“Wrex! Leave him alive!” Shepard growled, shots taking out two of the security officers. “I need answers.”

“Area clear, Commander,” Kaidan confirmed after running his scan. Shepard motioned towards a console and he nodded, activating the holographic keyboard to see what data could be gathered. He was careful not to disturb the force field.

“Right, let’s see what the good scientist can tell us. I heard something about rachni. Care to tell me about that?” Shepard’s pheromones were all smoke and ash, and he’d be lying if he said that seeing the beta quake before him, didn’t make him feel good.

“You’re Alliance! You can’t hurt me!” the scientist squeaked, the defiance marred by the shaking of his hands.

“Actually, I’m a Spectre. Lieutenant, see what data you can recover. Wrex,” Shepard grinned. “Rough him up for me.”

The krogan gave a short bark of laughter, biotic blue flaring around him. The scientist was lifted from the ground, squealing as his body’s movements no longer belong to him.

“Why are there rachni here? They’re extinct.”

The scientist spat at Shepard, so he motioned to Wrex. The krogan grinned and the scientist was slammed down onto the floor, body flopping as blood was spat from his mouth. The beta groaned, a pitiful noise.

The Cerberus scientist looked wearily at the krogan and spectre, blood staining his mouth red. “If you think I’m just going to give up our data - ”

Shepard’s laugh rumbled through his entire body. “Please continue to test my patience.” He aimed his pistol at the man’s head. His pheromones were sharp, betraying his agitation.

It was Wrex who then spoke, “My ancestors died to ensure their extinction. These are creatures that were too great a threat for the combined forces of salarians and turians, taken down only by the krogan.” Wrex’s eyes narrowed. “You’re more idiotic than I can give you credit for.”

The scientist whimpered, curling up on his side. Shepard sneered, “We’ll take you back to HQ for questioning.” He turned around to address the omega, “Kaidan! Found any data?”

“Still decrypting commander!”

Shepard nodded, then turned his attention to his communicator; one of the other squads was pinging him. “Fenrir Actual here, go ahead. Over.”

_“Fenrir Actual, Williams here, the area is cleared at our station. Over.”_

“What do you have Williams? Over.”

_“I’ve submitted the data that we’ve recovered to your omni-tool. Look, Sir…we found more those same zombies we fought on Feros. Over.”_

Shepard frowned, quickly skimming the data that Ashley sent to his omnitool. “What? Are you certain?”

_“Really skipper? You doubt me now? Over.”_ Ash sounded amused.

Kaidan shrugged. “Tali did find that report that mentioned Cerberus, something about where the ExoGeni employees sent samples to.”

Shepard nodded. “See what else you can find, then report back to the Normandy.” The alpha growled at the cowering scientist. “We have some problems to deal with here first. Out.”

The commander growled, advancing on the beta cowering on the floor. “You were testing on fucking humans!? How does that ‘advance’ humanity?!”

“You don’t understand! The breakthroughs we’ve had in just the last couple of months alone! The data from Feros - ”

“So, you’re the ones responsible for that nightmare?” Kaidan’s calm voice broke through the argument, low but carrying a cold anger. “They had no idea what was going on, being controlled by that _monster_.”

“It’s disgusting,” Shepard growled. His pheromones were sharp; acidic and smoky at the same time, telling of his anger and revulsion.

The scientist began to laugh at the same time as Kaidan’s omni-tool began to alert him to the doctor’s vitals. Kaidan swore, as the man slowly slumped to the floor, laughter ceasing as his body gave way into convulsions. It was quick, barely a few seconds but the man was dead.

“So, that’s what he was waiting for,” Kaidan softly murmured.

“Coward,” Wrex growled.

A sudden beeping from one of the consoles had Kaidan swearing, turning back to his job of data recovery. His pheromones spiked, a musty smell of agitation reaching Shepard’s nose.

“Kaidan, what’s wrong?”

The force field shimmering and disappearing answered Shepard’s question quickly enough. The strange bug inside gave a screech, before rushing at the trio. Three guns simultaneously firing at it soon turned the creature to a pulp. That wasn’t the commander’s main concern though.  
There was a body lying in the middle of the cell.

“Fuck, it’s Kohaku!” Shepard growled, slamming a fist into the wall. His pheromones spiked, harsh and acidic. “We’re too fucking late.”

Kaidan eyed him off, trying to decide whether he needed to calm the commander down; though the alpha’s pheromones soon equalled themselves out.

“I guess Cerberus found him after all,” Wrex muttered.

Kaidan knelt by the admiral’s body, reaching out to close the man’s eyes. After doing so, he scanned the man’s body, then frowned. “Strange,” he muttered.

“What’s wrong?”

“The admiral…he wasn’t killed by that rachni. There’s almost no trauma to his body.” Kaidan frowned, his scan showing up something he found disturbing. “There are needle tracks though. The Alliance will have to complete the autopsy to know exactly how he died.”

Wrex grunted, “Cerberus executed him. I can already tell you that.”

Shepard nodded, already on his omnitool to transmit the location back to the Alliance. He growled. “This group is fucking insane. I want to investigate them further, find out what the fuck they’re doing. We owe Kahoku that much.”

“Ungh, low-lives.” Kaidan shook his head, checking his omni-tool. “It seems I got most of the data Commander, or at least I hope it was most. Seems he had a failsafe that activated. I’ll have to pick it apart back at the Normandy, or maybe even have Tali take a look.”

Shepard nodded, “Any other surprises I should know about?”

“I did manage to find this lovely report that I think you’re gonna want to look at.”  
Shepard called up his omni tool, briefly skimming the contents of what Kaidan had sent him. He swore softly, “This isn’t good.”

Kaidan nodded, “It seems that Cerberus has been conducting illegal genetic experiments. I don’t know what their goal is but it’s clear it isn’t good.”

“We have to get this data back to the Alliance. They’re going to want to know about this.”

\---

Kaidan was nervous. You wouldn’t know it by looking at him, or scenting him but he was. Steeling himself, he paged the locked door that led to the Commander’s private quarters.  
There was barely a moment before it unlocked, and Kaidan stepped through, smiling as he subtly scented; the room was heavy with alpha pheromones. They were welcoming and heady at the same time.

Shepard was at his desk, datapads scattered as he completed his paperwork. Looking up, he smiled warmly as Kaidan approached him.

“A lot of work left to do, isn’t there?”

Shepard snorts, then nods. “Speaking of paperwork, we didn’t get a chance to do this last time you were here.” The alpha handed Kaidan a datapad. He skimmed through it, reading the contents. It was a Statement of Intent; a legal document required by the Alliance for an alpha officer to officially court an omega officer. Kaidan smiled softly, for the first time in his life, he felt almost…at ease with being an omega.

Shepard nodded, then cleared his throat, his pheromones projecting his awkwardness. “Anderson had been asking about you and if you’d chosen anyone as a mate. If I didn’t know better, I’d have thought he planned this.”

Kaidan snorted and rolled his eyes, though his scent showed his amusement. “Wouldn’t surprise me. The Alliance has been stationing me with only unbonded alpha officers for my last few posting. Probably hoping that eventually I would pick one.” He looked at Shepard and smirked, voice almost a purr. “But none of them really…appealed.”

“Well,” Shepard’s voice got lower and he walked over to Kaidan, nuzzling the other’s face, breathing in his scent. “I’m honoured you choose me. Ecstatic actually...”

“I just need to be clear on one thing though John.” He held his hand up to the other’s chest.

John studied the omega in front of him. “What’s up?”

“I just want to make clear that I’m not some object to be owned, a status symbol. You’ve already shown me that you respect me as soldier, a person, not just an omega. It’s part of what interested me in you actually.”

“You haven’t had the easiest life, but I love the man it’s made you,” Shepard smiled, reaching out to hold Kaidan’s hand. The omega accepted it, squeezing once.

Kaidan nodded, then looked the alpha dead in the eyes. “I have one request though John.”  
John nodded, waiting to hear it. Whatever it was, it seemed serious.

“I don’t want to be collared,” Kaidan spoke firmly, his pheromones holding a hint of salt, showing his contempt for the practice. Shepard’s eyes widened at the statement, but listened. “When I first presented as an omega, everyone treated me differently.” He snorted, shaking his head. “Everyone expected me to presented as an alpha and when I didn’t well…I was no longer just ‘Kaidan’, I’d somehow become weak. They treated me like an object and…I just became so angry…” His voice had dropped to a growl, fists clenching but pheromones steady except for that hint of salt. Shepard felt nothing but awe for the man in front of him, the level of control the omega possessed.

“Hey, it’s all right Kaidan,” John stepped forward and rested his forehead against Kaidan’s, glad that he no longer had to suppress some of his alpha instincts around him, particularly the more protective ones. He guessed he shouldn’t be surprised that Kaidan wouldn’t want to go the traditional route if they did end up bonding, not from what he already knew of the man. He felt momentarily disappointed that Kaidan wouldn’t be accepting his collar if it came to that but squished it ruthlessly. “You don’t have to explain why, just that you don’t want it is enough for me. I can’t say that it wouldn’t make me happy to see you wearing one, but I’ll respect your choice.”

They stood like that for a short moment, enjoying the closeness of each other, pheromones dancing and broadcasting a moment of contentedness.

Kaidan smiled and stepped back to look Shepard in the eye, “It’s gonna get tough to separate this from our duties though. You sure you’re ready for that?”

“Yeh, I was born to make the tough calls. Plus you’re more than worth it Kaidan.”

“Heh, stop, you’ll make me blush.”

“I bet you say that to all your CO’s,” Shepard laughed, kissing the omega on the hand.

“Well, ever since I heard the Captain’s mess gets better food.” Kaidan winked, then moved back to the desk to read the document. “Glad you’ll be here when it’s over, Shepard. I’m a…I’m looking forward to some shore leave. Joint uh, shore leave, actually.”

“That sounds nice. Careful, you’ll distract me from saving the galaxy.” Shepard grinned, feeling absurdly happy that his omega wanted to spend time with him.

Wait, _his_ omega? He mentally shook himself; that way of thinking was risky, the man belonged to himself and wouldn’t appreciate Shepard wanting to leash him, no matter how well-intentioned.

“It’s just that – We don’t have much downtime these days. And I like being around you. But I – I don’t want to steal your personal time away from you.”

“The very last thing that you could be doing is stealing my time Kaidan.” Shepard flopped down on his couch, patting the cushion next to him. “In fact, I was wondering a little about BaAT, just some details I heard from Garrus.”

Shepard didn’t miss the way Kaidan stiffened momentarily, before relaxing and nodding. He followed the hint and sat down next to John. The datapad was still in his hands, though the contents were momentarily forgotten.

“He told me that turians had been among the first to help human biotics learn, not asari like I thought. Is that true?”

“Yeah, you could say that. Our instructor out at Jump Zero was a turian by the name of Commander Vyrnnus,” Kaidan frowned. “Before I met Vyrnnus, I knew as much as any other civilian. Aliens were weird, superior, and tried to tell us what to do. Though that’s also the point of view of a teenager.”

“What happened?” Shepard’s pheromones were light, and all his attention was on the omega. Kaidan smiled, enjoying the undivided attention of the commander, despite the unpleasant topic.  
“Jump Zero was…bad. Some of things they put us through. It was Vyrnnus who trained us, pushed us and he hated me. Targeted me often for ‘special’ sessions.” Kaidan grimaced. “But hell, by the time I got payback for some of his crap, I didn’t even want it anymore.”

“You’re about the last person I’d expect to hold a grudge Kaidan and I don’t see you snapping very easily. What finally did it?”

Kaidan was silent for a few moments. When he finally spoke, it was with no emotion, no pheromones flaring, just deadpan. It made Shepard shiver, made his inner alpha croon and want to hold the omega in front of him. “He hurt someone I cared about. That beta, Rahna. Broke her arm. She reached for a glass of water instead of pulling it biotically. She just wanted a drink without getting a nosebleed, you know? Like an idiot, I stood up. Didn’t know what I was going to do…just something. And Vyrnnus lost it. Beat the crap out of me. Then the knife came up. A military-issue talon. Right in my face.” Kaidan turned to look Shepard in the eyes. “I cut loose. Full biotic kick, right in the teeth. Almost as strong as I can manage now. At seventeen, that’s something.” He chuckled sardonically at himself.

Shepard’s eyes widened. “Impressive, taken down by a kid. Vyrnnus must have hated that.” He smirked.

“He didn’t have time to hate it. I killed him. Snapped his neck. They probably could’ve saved him, if they got him to an infirmary quick enough. But they didn’t.”

“But…you were just a kid. How’d you deal with that mess?” Shepard quickly stifled his alpha instincts to protect Kaidan from the hurt; it was obvious he had already dealt with it.

“I didn’t. Not at the time. So, I dropped out of sight for a bit, did some things I’m not proud of. The turians didn’t pursue anything, in fact the turian jury at the trial found me innocent of any charges.” Kaidan smiled softly. “So yeh…that’s that.”

“Is there something I can do to help you?” Shepard cursed the statement as soon as he said it; so much for suppressing his alpha instincts.

“I’m thirty-two, Shepard,” Kaidan chuckled, pheromones showing his amusement. “You don’t serve as long as I have without coming to terms with yourself. You also learn that if someone is special to you, you let yourself…open up a little to them.”

“I can respect that,” Shepard turned to look at Kaidan. _Really_ looked at him; the scars on his face, the scars on his soul. “This explains a lot about you; why you’re so self-controlled. I’ve never met anyone with the level of control you have. Not even other military omega officers.”

“I’ve got a few scratches and dents, but I’m no more disciplined than any other biotic or omega, Shepard. This is all ancient history. I’m over it.” His scent became slightly salty again; Shepard wondered if he was disappointed in himself or what he had been forced to do. “Fully functional human being here. I refuse to be a burden on you or the crew.”

“You’re not a burden. Kaidan, you’re a strong man. Talking about this doesn’t make you a whiner, and it doesn’t make you immature.” Shepard smiled, so warmly that Kaidan wanted to kiss him. “It makes you human.”

Kaidan smiled back, then relaxed into the couch, his salty pheromones fading back into his neutral floral. “So, what about you?”

“…there’s not much interesting to me, Kaidan.” Shepard cast his eyes to the side.

“Well, I beg to differ,” he said with a coy smile. “Tell me why you joined the Alliance then.”

Shepard chuckled. “It was a stupid reason actually…” He looked up at Kaidan, who nodded encouragingly. He breathed in deep and steeled himself to tell the omega about his past. “For most of my time in the Reds, I enjoyed it. I enjoyed the power, the respect, enjoyed the way people were easily intimidated by me. I could do almost whatever I wanted, without any consequences.” He stood up, needing to move while he spoke.

“Anyways, I had this dog, it was a mutt. A really dumb mutt. Don’t even know what breed, so don’t ask.” Kaidan smiled; Shepard didn’t seem to notice it, but his pheromones were divulging the love that he had for the animal. “His name was Buddy.

“Well, he followed me everywhere, was protective of me too.” His gaze saddened, his scent revealing that he was still ashamed of his past. “I was muscle for the Reds, so having this dog who barked and snapped at people on command was really useful. One day though…” He swallowed harshly, closing his eyes against the memories. “One day I was ambushed. A person I had been sent to rough up had backup I wasn’t expecting.

“There were only three of them, but they were all alphas and well…bigger than I was. I was pinned on the floor, certain that the next punch was gonna kill me but then Buddy…he jumped in, tearing into those guys. Let me get up, let me survive.” Shepard’s eyes hardened. “They killed him. Going back to the Reds…no one noticed. No one noticed he was gone. Made me realise I didn’t have friends, they didn’t care about me. And I wanted out.

“The Alliance offered various incentives to join up. Education programs, free food and board, healthcare…a way off Earth. Sounded like a good deal. So, one day…I left. Signed up to the Alliance and never looked back.

“I still miss that dumb mutt.” Shepard whispered, unable to look at the other man, refusing to see the pity on his face. “It’s so stupid.” He then jumped slightly as strong arms wrapped themselves around his midsection, Kaidan pressing himself against his back.

For a moment, they just enjoyed being close to each other. Then Kaidan spoke, so soft that John almost had to strain to hear him, “That dog was your family Shepard, it's not stupid at all.”

Twisting in Kaidan’s arms, Shepard leaned down to capture the other’s lips in a brief kiss.

“Before we go any further,” John murmured, then reached behind him to retrieve a particular datapad. “We need this to be signed.”

Kaidan imprinted his electronic thumbprint onto the document, signing that he was consenting to courtship from an alpha officer. Smiling, he handed it back to Shepard who tossed it onto his desk for later.

Instead John grabbed the other man and kissing him deeply, pheromones loudly broadcasting his pure _want_ and desire for the omega. Kaidan moaned a little, his mouth opening slightly at the dominant move, allowing John to dictate his desire for the moment. Shepard pushed his body into Kaidan’s, enjoying the warmth of his body and moved them towards the couch. They broke away for some air, and Shepard caught Kaidan’s eyes narrowing mischievously. The omega then tucked his body into John’s, flipped him onto the couch and climbed on top of him.

John growled slightly at the display of dominance, but his inner alpha was content; recognising that the man above him posed no threat. Kaidan smirked, then leaned forward to give the alpha a deep kiss, tongues sliding against each other, a low rumbling purr sounding from inside the omega’s chest. John moaned at the sound, at the thought that the omega was pleased with him. The kiss ended and John tugged Kaidan close to him; tucking his face into the omega’s neck, breathing in heavily at the glands there. He itched to sink his teeth into them, to bond the omega to him and claim him as his own. But he would never do that until Kaidan agreed.

Kaidan would only belong to him, once he belonged to Kaidan.

And he wouldn’t have it any other way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank-you to [Bard](http://archiveofourown.org/users/bardofheartdrive/pseuds/bardofheartdive) for being my beta for this chapter! Go read their Mass Effect fanfiction if you haven't already! Its fantastic :D
> 
> I'm now back at work, so while I'll be doing my best to update regularly, there will be periods of time that are longer between updates. 
> 
> Once again, thank-you to everyone still reading this. Your comments give me life! I love reading them so much <3 Thank-you!


	16. The Night before Noveria

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shepard has confirmation on Matriarch Benezia's location.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well I knew it would take me a little while to update but I didn't expect it to take a month! Thank-you to everyone who was reading this while I got used to being back at work xD I hope you enjoy the new chapter and that the next one won't take as long.

Kaidan had decided that Liara was all right, so long as she wasn’t trying to get in Shepard’s head.

He’d been sitting with her in the mess for a little while now, having offered her some tea to coax her out of the back of Chakwas office. She’d been animatedly chatting about her research into Protheans as soon as he assured her that he wanted to listen.

“…and that’s when we tried to figure out why the planet Ontaheter had such unusually high mass. Some people think that there is a Prothean ship resting at the planetary core, having crashed before the collapse of the Empire.”

Kaidan smiled, “Hey that would be a pretty cool find.”

Liara nodded, “Unfortunately our orbiting satellites proved the planet’s core to be normal. No crashed Prothean ships.” She sipped her tea thoughtfully. “Though I do wish the idea would stop floating around the extranet.”

Finding himself snorting into his own cup, he opened his mouth to reply but was interrupted by the appearance of Shepard from the CIC.

“Liara, may I have a word with you?” Her entire demeanour changed, jumping slightly when John called out to her on his way through the mess hall. “Oh, and Alenko, can you relay to Williams that I need our weapons and the Mako, checked and modified for Noveria’s climate? Don’t want my guns or tank freezing up planetside.”

Without waiting for a reply, the alpha turned and walked into Chakwas’ office. Sniffing discreetly, he frowned when Shepard’s slightly tart pheromones reached him. The commander was _anxious_?

Kaidan reached out for Liara’s hand, smiling warmly at her when she jumped at his touch. “It’s okay Liara. I can tell his mood, he’s not angry at you. If anything, he’s feeling nervous.”

\---

Liara swallowed, feeling her own nervousness spike, and took a breath to ground herself. Her slightly acrid scent evened out and she stood, smiling when Kaidan reached out to take her cup. He winked and swore that he saw her blush a little, blue skin darkening slightly.

The asari turned from the warmth of the lieutenant, braced herself and walked towards the medbay. Her unease returned though; why would the brash commander be anxious talking to _her_?

Walking into the Medbay did nothing to soothe her, as Chakwas was nowhere to be seen. She entered the far door, finding Shepard had already taken a seat inside her assigned workspace. He looked up at her as she entered, expression unreadable. Not for the first time since being aboard the SR1, Liara found herself wishing that she could scent pheromones, not just produce them. Damn asari biology sometimes.

“Liara.” His voice was gentler than she had ever heard it before. “Tell me about your mother.”

She smiled sadly, ignoring the way her heart began thudding loudly in her chest, “What would you like to know Shepard?”

“I’m still trying to work out why Benezia joined up with Saren. From everything I’ve read about her, it just makes no sense.”

Liara shook her head, “Then I’m sorry Shepard, I can’t really offer any insight into why my mother joined Saren. I just hope that maybe she thought it was for the greater good? Though what ‘good’ could come from aligning with the geth, I don’t know.”

“This hurts you…doesn’t it?” He seemed to struggle to find the right words.

“None of it makes sense Shepard. I mean, I may not have seen Benezia in many years, but I know her. It’s just not like her! Something changed, and I don’t know what.”

He nodded slowly, then sighed. “We are docking at Port Hanshan on Noveria tomorrow.” John made sure to look at her, his steel blue eyes studying her face. “There are reports of an Asari Matriarch who passed through the compound.”

Liara’s face paled; for a moment the world swam, and her heart leapt into her throat. Strong arms gripped her, lowered her into a chair nearby. It was Shepard. Tears gripped at her eyes, but she held herself together. “Benezia?”

Shepard nodded. “All my intel suggests that she’s there.” Liara felt her heartbeat rise, a stab of panic inside of her. “I want to bring you planetside with me, be on my squad for this mission. If she is there, I’m hoping you might be able to reason with her.”

“Shepard…” she whispered. Liara found herself feeling stupidly grateful towards the Commander. Then she noticed the soft growl, emanating from his chest.

“I need you to be truthful though, Liara.” His eyes seemed to see _through_ her. “If it comes down to me or your mother…I need to know who is going to end up with a bullet in them.”

Liara knew the answer immediately, even if she couldn’t articulate it. “Benezia may be my mother Shepard, but I do not know who she is anymore. The woman who raised me would not have condoned this much death and destruction in her name. She has chosen her path.” Her voice hardened, even as her heart broke. “I am on your side Shepard. If it comes down to it, if it's needed, I will kill her myself.”

For a moment it didn’t seem like Shepard believed her, but then he smiled, though it was grim. Patting her on the knee, the spectre stood and left.

Liara held her composure until she heard the door on the far side of the medbay open, then close. Finally a sob escaped her, and she let herself cry.

She had never felt so alone.

\---

It was late in the night cycle before Kaidan’s rostered shift ended. He tagged his replacement and strode out of engineering towards John’s cabin. There was also totally _not_ a skip in his step and he resolutely ignored some of the marines snickering at him.

Reaching the commander’s cabin, he pinged Shepard’s omni-tool to let the alpha know he had arrived. Barely a few seconds passed, and his own omni-tool received a confirmation. It looked like he wasn’t the only one who was excited.

Stepping into the commander’s room, Kaidan breathed in the heady alpha pheromones; a flash of metal and something uniquely _Shepard_ was his welcome.

John stood immediately, taking the other man into his arms. He gave a sigh, almost of relief, as the omega returned the embrace. The tension that the day held, seemingly melted away.

“Long day,” Shepard muttered, resting his forehead against the others, breathing in the omega’s scent.

“Always is,” Kaidan nuzzled the commander’s nose, making him smile.

“Kaidan,” the alpha’s voice held a rumble that excited the omega. “I’d really like to kiss you right now.”

“Please,” came the raspy reply.

The kiss started softly, almost chaste, soft lips brushing against each other. Then John’s mouth opened and Kaidan took it as the invitation it was, sliding his tongue inside. A moan escaped Shepard’s mouth and for a moment their tongues duelled. Their hands roamed across each other’s bodies, eager to touch and bring them as close together as they could with their clothing still on.

One of John’s hands slid into the back of Kaidan’s hair, gripped it softly; his inner alpha pleased at the sensual moan that escaped from the omega’s lips. He was careful to avoid the vulnerable nerves and the amp port at the back of Kaidan’s neck though, the armoured plate sown into the back of his uniform’s collar a stark reminder of the other man’s weakness. It required a massive amount of trust for the omega to let him anywhere near his neck and John felt a flash of affection for the other man.

Kaidan let out a whine when the alpha’s lips vanished from his own, then shivered at John’s stubble scraping against his neck. Shepard scented the omega, breathing in deep his intoxicating scent while rubbing his nose against the soft skin of his neck; a sublime mixture of floral and vanilla mixing together. The commander growled slightly, burying his face into that delectable gland that smelled, oh so fucking _good_.

Revelling in the omega’s trust to allow him access to such a guarded area, his tongue reached out of his own violation, enjoying the way Kaidan moaned and shuddered slightly beneath him. The knowledge that this omega was moaning for him, sent a bolt of lust throughout his body, made his inner alpha rise. He wanted to claim this omega, he _needed_ to claim this omega. His world narrowed down to the person in his arms, his scent, his body was all that he focussed on. A haze of sorts wrapped around his mind, Shepard’s inner alpha taking over, instinct driving him. His pheromones shifted slightly, subtly changing from his usual metallic tinge to deep and earthy. His teeth itched and all he wanted to do was bury them into the omega’s neck.

Kaidan noticed immediately. Growling softly when he felt the teeth at his neck, he turned within Shepard’s grasp, grabbing his arm and rolling the commander’s body off his hip. The alpha’s back slammed into the ground, breath escaping him from the impact. Kaidan’s hand had a firm grip at Shepard’s neck, keeping the alpha’s body resolutely there. His body was awash with blue light, biotics assisting him with pressing down on Shepard.

John tried to move again, inner alpha roaring at the indignity of having been denied. He swore he’d rip whoever had come between him and his omega in two. He’d gut them, make them swear that they regretted ever having been born! He’d -

“ - hn! John!”

Shepard blinked, confused. It was Kaidan on him… _Kaidan_ was holding him down. Dread filled him, his inner alpha retreating fully. What the fuck had happened?

The rumbling growl emanating from the omega died down as Kaidan noticed that Shepard’s eyes were clear. Taking a hesitant sniff, he noted that the feral pheromones had also disappeared. Resisting the urge to breathe a sigh of relief, he instead snorted, brightly flaring his disapproval at the commander. For a moment Kaidan flashes brighter, biotics reacting to the emotional turmoil flowing through him, before suppressing them.

John’s eyes widened, hurt flashing across his face at the vinegary pheromones coming from the omega, the brief loss of control of carefully honed biotics. Fuck. What had he done?

Kaidan released John’s throat, walking slowly backwards out of his reach. The alpha stayed on the ground, not wanting to aggravate the omega any further.

“What the hell were you thinking, Shepard?” Kaidan softly growled. His voice hadn’t raised at all, but the vinegary scent cut straight through the alpha and he flinched at the tone. “Or were you even thinking at all?”

John lowered his eyes, shame rolling through him; he hadn’t been thinking. He’d let his instincts take over, moving in on the omega, trying to take what hadn’t been given permission. Fuck, he’d tried to _bite_ Kaidan…

Scenting the salty-ash pheromones now being broadcasted by Shepard, Kaidan guessed that he’d figured out what he’d done. Or almost done, Kaidan corrected himself. Still, even a near bite by an alpha was a major social offense when done without permission.

Kaidan grunted when John lowered his eyes, still angry at the other man. Fucking alphas…did he really want to go through with this bonding, if this alpha couldn’t control himself around him? Was it too much to expect from the other man to have the same level of control he had?  
“I thought you were different Shepard…”

 _Shepard_ …John’s heart clenched within his chest. He knew his pheromones were broadcasting his hurt and shame, making no move to suppress his reactions. He had to let Kaidan know how sorry he was.

A huff from the omega made him flinch again. “Look at me…John.”

Hope fluttered nervously, and he peered upwards, looking towards Kaidan’s face. The stern features softened at the alpha’s openly submissive gestures, and the omega sighed. “You have to prove this to me, John. Prove that you’re different, prove that you’re not just sorry, but rather that you can leash yourself.”

Then the omega left. The vinegary pheromones were suppressed abruptly as Kaidan stepped outside the doors; no need for the crew to be affected by their…disagreement. The door closed, and Shepard was alone in the dark.

Punching the ground, John cursed at himself, misery eating away at him. They were due to land on Noveria the next day and now he had a (rightfully) pissed omega to deal with. No thanks to himself and his own damn lack of control.

Though...why _had_ he done that? Going feral was the sort of thing to expect from a rookie, newly presented and still learning to control their alpha pheromones. A commander was expected to have better control of themselves. _He_ expected better from himself.

Kaidan had been right to walk away from him.

Sighing loudly, he flopped onto his back, staring at the ceiling. What the fuck was wrong with him?

\---

Kaidan found himself in the cargo bay, hunched over the weapons counter. He’d tried to quell his anguish and had been left with a deep seated anger instead, the likes of which he thought he had left behind at BAaT. Turns out that nearly being violated by your CO, _-possible future bondmate-_ , could bring it back to the surface.

He shuddered. How the fuck had he been so wrong about Shepard?

A thread of blue lightning crackled across his skin, and without thinking, Kaidan’s fist met the bulkhead in front of him. For a moment, he revelled in the release of the dark energy; pure power racing across his skin, channelled directly into the wall in front of him. It buckled inwards slightly, the force of Kaidan’s biotic field proving to be more than a match for the titanium steel alloys.

"Spare the bulkhead, kiddo."

A growl escaped the omega before he could help himself. Kaidan shut his mouth and brutally suppressed his frustrations. Turning slightly, he frowned at Wrex approaching him. The krogan gestured towards the wall he had just punched and Kaidan cringed when he noticed the solid dent he’d left in it. Thank fuck he hadn’t had an amp plugged in.

“Look, I ain’t gonna judge you but if you need something to punch, how about something that won’t get the cargo bay spaced?”

Kaidan blinked and turned around fully to face the krogan, seriously considering the unsaid offer. Though he would never be able to take Wrex down, there was a certain freedom in not having to hold back. “You offering?”

The krogan’s nod was all it took and Kaidan let the anguish and rage that was just bubbling beneath the surface boil over, unleashing it on the willing partner in front of him. He refused to use his biotics though, no fancy tricks needed to vent the well of emotions inside of him. Just his hands versus the immovable krogan.

After a while Kaidan’s breath became uneven, loud in the spacious cargo area. His knuckles were red and sore, and he had been kicking and punching for only God knew how long. Wrex took everything he could give, a silent mountain of support but he knew that the human biotic’s rage could only sustain him so long.

Finally, Kaidan gave a final shout, a final punch, before he came to a standstill, bending over and resting his hands on his knees. The omega breathed, emotionally drained, but in control of his reactions once more.

“You know,” Wrex murmured, breaking the silence of the cargo bay. “Whatever it is, don’t dwell on what went wrong. Focus on fixing it.”

Kaidan watched the krogan walk away, waving off his thanks. Sighing to himself, Kaidan trudged to the elevator, intending on catching some sleep. He could feel the exhaustion seeping in, the combined emotional and physical stress making him yawn. It was strange though, the way that the commander suddenly had trouble controlling his pheromones, becoming feral. There was nothing in his medical files that indicated any such problems with controlling his alpha nature. Plus, the look on the commander’s face when he’d broken out of his feral state, when he realised what he’d almost done... No, that wasn’t a man who lost control easily.

So what had happened to him, to make him lose control?

Kaidan paused, an abrupt thought striking him. _What if…_

He strode towards the medbay, sleep suddenly the last thing on his mind; there was only one person on the Normandy that he wanted, no _needed_ , to see. If his ideas were correct, then the commander, no, the whole crew, could be in a lot of trouble. Walking purposefully through the empty medbay, he reached the far side and stopped only to ping a certain alien’s omni tool. Receiving confirmation that he could enter, Kaidan stepped on through and found himself blurting out his question.

"Liara, what do you know about protheans and pheromones?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank-you so much to [Barbex](http://archiveofourown.org/users/barbex/pseuds/barbex) for beta-reading this chapter and giving me some AMAZING ideas! You're a darl <3


	17. Noveria 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They've landed at Noveria. Shepard is having some troubles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my! It's been two **months** since my last update! Argh! I'm so sorry! Thank-you for waiting if you're still reading this!  <3
> 
> I'm sorry its a short chapter. I signed up to too many writing challenges, and unfortunately, my work on this fiction was neglected in favour of deadlines for those challenges. Those challenges are almost complete however, the MEBB being the last that I'm signing up for, for a while.
> 
> Also, OMG! This fic reached **250 kudos!** Thank-you to everyone who has enjoyed my writing! I never imagined this many people would enjoy this fic! I commissioned artwork to celebrate  <3

They hadn’t even landed yet, and Shepard already hated this damn planet. The growl that he let out when the control tower on Port Hanshan threatened to impound the Normandy, made even the laid back beta pilot raise an eyebrow.

“You okay there, commander?”

Shepard tensed without meaning to, pheromones turning sharply caustic for a moment before evening out, but Joker merely raised an eyebrow in return. “Notify Ashley and Wrex to suit up. They’ll be on the initial ground squad with me.”

Joker blinked, for once taken aback with Shepard’s squad choice. “Something happen between you and Alenko?”

For a moment, Shepard debated what to tell the pilot. He had to say something, Joker was notorious for his gossip mongering and his pheromones had already given him away. He relaxed his fist, knuckles having gone white, and huffed. Whatever he said, it would be passed around the ship's scuttlebutt in no time.

“He’s in medbay, sleeping off a migraine.” Shepard strode out of the cockpit, not giving Joker any more time to question him. He could feel the pilot’s eyes follow him as he made his way to the elevator.

The feral state, he kept slipping into, an embarrassing loss of his control as a mature alpha, had more implications than just possibly losing Kaidan. It also had implications for his rank in the Alliance. If he couldn’t regain that control, then he was at risk of losing his commission, demoted to a desk job somewhere or even dishonourably discharged. It was a liability he couldn’t afford.

He had to regain his control, at any cost.

\---

“That’s far enough.”

Shepard surprised even himself with the vicious growl that erupted from his throat. His body had immediately reacted with rage, smoky pheromones flaring with a primeval instinct to break the person that dared to stand in his way. Though somewhere towards the back of his mind, a still rational part had to hand it to the woman in front of him; her only outward reaction was a single eyebrow raising. Her voice was deathly calm in the wake of his animosity, eyes starting unblinkingly into his own.

“This is an unscheduled arrival. I will need your credentials before allowing you to proceed.”

He snorted despite himself, catching a whiff of her pheromones. This woman was an omega. Shepard felt a cruel sneer paint itself across his face at her audacity. “You first.”

“We’re the law here. Show some respect.” His attention snapped to the side and a quick sniff showed him this other woman was an alpha. Shepard’s inner alpha growled at her audacity to talk to _him_ that way. How dare she! Didn't she know who he was?

The first woman waved at the second to stand down, the scent of lemon infusing her pheromones. Shepard blinked, rage momentarily relaxing with surprise. A _military-trained_ omega, it seemed. Behind him, Ashley and Wrex took a glance at each other. This wasn’t the commander’s usual style. What the hell was he playing at?

“I am Captain Maeko Matsuo, Elanus Risk Control Services.” The omega’s pheromones were now directed at him, trying to soothe his inner alpha, bring him back to a rationale line of thinking. “Identify yourself.”

“I’m a Council Spectre,” he ignored the growl in his own voice, ignored the way Ashley flashed a worried glance at him. “My name is Commander Shepard, Systems Alliance Navy.”

The alpha female snorted, puffing her chest out and straightened her back, in a show of alpha intimidation. It set his teeth on edge and he barely managed to control his own display. “Load of horseshit ma’am. An Alliance commander wouldn’t be bristling like a new-born pup.”

Matsuo ignored the alpha guard. “We will need to confirm your rank and name. In either case, firearms are not permitted on Noveria.” She signalled to the alpha guard. “Secure their weapons, Sergeant Stirling.”

Without thinking, alpha instincts merely reacting, Shepard snarled, aiming his gun at the three guards. Burning rage erupted in his body like a dark toxin, demanding to be released in violence, to take down those who stood in his way. Behind him, he heard Ashley and Wrex cock their respective weapons in response. While his own pheromones were a mix of charring salt, Ashley’s were carefully neutral.

The turian guard and Stirling both responded with aiming their own weapons at the trio, Stirling’s alpha pheromones flaring to match his own. Every instinct in his body was screaming at him to dominate the people standing in front of him.

Surprisingly, it was Wrex who spoke, “Don’t try it.”

Shepard nodded, deep growl reverberating through his chest, “Nobody takes my weapon.” Mentally though, that tiny part of his mind that was still rational already regretted his choice and dominance display. Requesting to take his weapons was a foreseeable and expected protocol. Too late to back down though. His inner alpha wouldn’t allow him that luxury.

Matsuo stood her ground against his show of force and alpha pheromones. She merely widened her stance, seemingly nonchalant as she concentrated her own pheromones, soothing floral notes that spread over the immediate area. Only the way her eyes narrowed betrayed her resolve.

“We are authorised to use lethal force. You have until the count of three to surrender your weapons, or we will engage. One. Two. Th - ”

 _“Captain Matsuo stand down. We have confirmed their identity. Spectres are authorised to carry weapons here Captain.”_ The loud overhead speaker blared, breaking their stalemate.

“You may proceed Spectre. I hope the rest of your visit will be less… confrontational.” Matsuo frowned, the expression clearly expressing how much she doubted that to happen. “Parasini-san will meet you upstairs.”

The alpha guard turned to Shepard, and eyed him off with disdain as she reholstered his pistol. “Behave yourself.”

He walked by with a short snarl, but left it at that. The other alpha left it alone too, the glare from her omega captain enough to have her back off.

The three of them walked into the Port. Walking over to one of the fountains in the entryway, Shepard was surprised to see it was actually warm. Steam wafted from the hot spring and he took the time to breathe deeply before meeting with the one called Parasini. He had to be in control. It wouldn’t matter if he was an Alliance commander, or a Spectre — another spectacle like the one outside and he’d get them all kicked off the planet. Ashley walked up beside him, studying the ripples in the water. They stood in silence for a moment, the other alpha letting the commander regain control of himself once more.

Behind them, Wrex grunted, "You on some krogan trip here Shepard? That’s not exactly your usual style."

Shepard didn’t reply. What could he say anyway? I’m sorry, my instinct are out of control? I’ll do better next time?

“Permission to speak freely sir?” Ashley had waited until they were out of earshot of the guards, waited until he was at least a semblance of calm. Her pheromones were very neutral; she wasn’t letting an ounce of her control slip.

Shepard turned to his alpha companion, grunting his agreement. He looked back at the water, using it as a catalyst to calm himself. God, but he wanted Kaidan here so badly.

“I don’t know what’s up with you at the moment, but...you need to get your shit under control, or _I’ll_ beat you to a pulp myself.” She blinked, taking in his expression. “No offence, Commander, Sir.”

Shepard just grunted in reply. He kinda wanted to beat _himself_ to a pulp at the moment.

\---

Liara was sorting through her research notes, everything that she had found on the protheans, trying to narrow down her information on prothean physiology. Kaidan had long since left; he was currently lying in the medbay from a migraine. She pitied him in that regard, Asari had no such weakness to stress and biotics.

Her thoughts drifted towards the conversation that they had had the night before, before Kaidan had succumbed to the migraine.

_“This isn’t an accusation towards you Liara,” Kaidan’s voice was soft. “And I apologise if you think it is so. I honestly believe however, that your mind meld, and that other asari’s, the one on Feros...is the catalyst for his current…behaviour. It may have unlocked something...else from that prothean vision of his.”_

_Liara frowned, then sighed. “I apologise as well Kaidan. I suppose I’m just on edge.”_

_“Ah, that’s alright, I apologise.” He suddenly looked slightly embarrassed. “Your mother is on Noveria…”_

_Liara closed her eyes. “It’s okay Kaidan. I have made my peace with Benezia’s choices. She has chosen her path, just as I have chosen mine.”_

_“Benezia?” Kaidan frowned. “Is that your mother’s name? I’m sorry, this must be hurting you.”_

_Nodding, Liara made sure to look at Kaidan directly. She knew that humans communicated through pheromones as well as body language, and though she couldn’t communicate her pain through scent effectively, the asari knew that her eyes could. “None of this makes any sense Kaidan. I haven’t spoken to Benezia in many years but...I knew her. This isn’t her. Something changed and I don’t know what and - ”_

_She stopped as Kaidan walked up and hugged her tightly. Liara felt the muscles on her chin tremble, as if she was a small child again and unbidden, tears burst forth like water from a dam, spilling down her face._

_He held her for some time, she didn’t know exactly how long, rubbing circles into her back. All she knew was that she felt drained afterwards, like a wound had been lanced._

_When she finally stopped crying, they pulled back. The expression on Kaidan’s face was tight and a flash of guilt ran through her._

_“Kaidan, oh I’m sorry…”_

_He waves off her concern, though his face tightens from the onset of the migraine. “Please, just tell me...can you help Shepard?”_

Yes, she could do this. Shepard’s lack of control was concerning and not just on a personal level. They needed the man level-headed.

Gathering her notes, she walked towards the med-bay. Just before she reached the door, she took a deep breath, gathering her confidence. Talking to a member of Shepard’s crew was still daunting.

“Doctor Chakwas? I was hoping to have a word with you please?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank-you to barbex who beta-read this for me <3
> 
> I hope my next update will be longer and quicker than the last.


	18. Noveria 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wrapping things up at the Port.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank-you for being such a fantastic beta-reader Barbex! <3

Shepard was beginning to learn: bureaucracy was a fucking bitch of an enemy. He’d managed to somehow bludgeon his way through security and keep his gun, but lost access to his own bloody tank in the process.

At this very moment, the Mako was sitting in the garage downstairs, waiting for the paperwork that Anoleis, that fucking idiot, insisted on to clear. There was nothing he could do until then.

He wanted to tear that fucking salarian apart, use his bare hands to tear into that soft flesh, wrench that still beating heart out of his chest and laugh at his expression. Fuck, it would be glorious, a testament to his prowess, something to lay at Kaidan’s feet, to beg his omega’s forgiveness…

Shaking his head, Shepard managed to get himself under control. Barely. In his peripheral vision, he noticed the humans in the bar flinch at what must have been another flare of smoky pheromones. Fuck.

He’d been sitting in the upper part of Port Hanshan’s bar for nearly an hour now, glowering into his drink and occasionally staring out the large windows. There was nothing friendly about the blizzard outside; much like the place he currently found himself stranded in. Ashley and Wrex were... somewhere in the Port. He’d send them to fetch Liara once he could get them access to Peak 15.

The window outside was a perfect reflection of his mind, a frantic bout of brutal unforgiving white. The Mako could handle the blizzard fine but Anoleis, the Salarian bastard in charge of this joint, had seemingly taken great delight in employing bureaucracy against him. So far the only thing that had gone right, was the confirmation that Benezia was indeed on the planet.

Growling, Shepard took a swig of his drink, his other hand fingering his pistol. The other humans in the bar cast him nervous glances at his fluctuating alpha pheromones. He barely noticed their acidic anxiety; his own smoky scent enveloping him and shielding him from the vinegary civilian pheromones.

And he couldn’t even have Kaidan here to help because of his own massive fuck up. The stress of the… situation, had been enough to give the omega a migraine, and he was currently resting in the Normandy’s medbay. Resisting the urge to sigh into his mug and pout, the alpha slouched down in his seat instead.

At least his squad choices made sense for the area; Ashley and Wrex were close combat specialists. It was logical to bring them both along with Liara; worst case scenario was that the asari’s mother couldn’t be negotiated with. For a moment he felt his anger lessen slightly. Here he was, moping in the port’s bar, while Liara was facing the prospect of having to kill her own mother. Great, now he was selfish as well as an alpha prick.

“Looks like you’re in a bit of a bind Commander.”

His eyes snapped up, and he couldn’t help the growl that escaped his throat, a warning to the woman that had come to stand in front of him. It took every ounce of willpower that Shepard possessed, to resist launching out of his seat, to put down the alpha that dared to enter his personal space. He hadn’t even scented her! How did she get so close, without him noticing?

Instead of heeding the warning, Parasini studied him, ignored the pheromones that had sent the other humans running. She nodded, then sat down in front of him. “I’m with Noveria Internal Affairs. You’re a long way from the Citadel, Spectre. The Administration may allow Special Tactics and Reconnaissance agents here, but they’re not exactly, shall we say, committed to the extraterritorial privileges they’ve allowed.”

“You’re a short way from having my fist in your face,” Shepard snarled, eyes narrowing at her presumptuous attitude. “What are you after?”

To Parasini’s credit, she smiled at him. "Don't think your posturing and filling this whole room with your aggressive pheromones impresses me. I've had worse in corporate meetings."

She sat calmly in the chair in front of the soldier and a distant part of Shepard’s primal alpha hindbrain found himself impressed. Vaguely, he noticed that the other humans had vacated the area, the mix of metallic alpha mixing with the smoky anger enough to make them decide to be elsewhere.

“Anoleis isn’t the only one with a garage pass.”

Shepard blinked, his aggression disappearing. The sentence had caught him off guard and the alpha haze that had infused his mind momentarily cleared. He sniffed carefully, then frowned as he realised that she seemed to have little scent. It only served to make him more distrustful of the woman casually reclining at his table.

“What is it that you’re offering?”

Parasini smiled, though it did nothing to put John at ease. She nodded towards a turian sipping a glass just to the side of the bar. “That is Lorik Qui'in. Talk to him. I need his help and you will convince him to do it. See, Anoleis has managed to do the one thing that gets people riled up on Noveria. He’s been skimming the profits, has been doing so for a while. Lorik Qui'in has evidence that I need, to be able to put the slimy bastard behind bars.”

The last bit got Shepard’s full attention. “Behind bars?”

“I’m with the NIA. We take our jobs seriously. Besides, Anoleis is breaking the golden rule of the planet; ‘don't rock the boat.’ So, what do you say? You get Lorik to testify, I can grant you a garage pass.”

Shepard found himself scowling, then nodded. “Consider it done.”

“Glad we could do business.”

He watched as she walked away, alpha posture and confidence clear in her every step. He couldn’t help the curl of his lip; he did not trust that woman. Though, if experience served him right, people like that could be counted on serving their own interests. Luckily for Parasini, he hated Anoleis enough to play her little game.

Skulling the rest of his drink, he slammed the glass back on the table with slightly more force than anticipated and stalked out of the bar. Shepard couldn’t resist grinning at the sight of one the human guards flinching as he walked down to the lower bar.

Yeah, he could do this.

\---

“Hey!” Kaidan called out, eyeing off the security guard that was standing in the docking bay, obviously loitering near the Normandy. A short sniff told him that she was also an omega. “Why are you here? Wait…” Kaidan stopped, glanced back at the ship, then back at the woman. “Are you…guarding the Normandy?”

The guard raised her eyebrow, her floral scent carefully neutral though, studying him before answering. “A more accurate view would be that I’m here to prevent incidents between employees and the Normandy crew.”

Kaidan nodded, holding out his hand. “Lieutenant Alenko, I’m here as the Alliance’s Omega Officer.”

“Captain Maeko Matsuo, human head of the ERCS security forces.” She shook his hand firmly, nodding at him. The slight bow of their heads, a signal.

“Having a Spectre planetside making people nervous? I can’t imagine that everything that happens here is uh, legitimate.”

Matsuo didn’t rise to the bait, merely nodded her acceptance. “All the corporations that operate here, do so to avoid galactic law.” She clasped her hands behind her, standing straight, showing she wasn’t intimidated by the insinuation. “They all have secrets, some of which are not legal. Administrator Anoleis has been bombarded with petitions to have your Spectre thrown out of the port.”

Kaidan frowned, “I assure you Ma’am, we’re not here to cause trouble with the corporations. We’re only here to meet with Matriarch Benezia.”

The female omega raised her eyebrow at that. “I’m sure you are. Regardless, I am here to make sure that none of the corporations get ideas. They don’t have the training, or the personnel needed, to assault an Alliance frigate.”

Kaidan snorted. “So basically you’re here to prevent them from doing anything stupid to a Spectre’s vessel?”

Matsuo’s mouth twitched, her scent turning citric with her amusement. “I was with the Alliance for ten years as one of their Omega Officers. Got me this position here, I’ve been here for a few years too.” Her amusement seemed to fade, lips turning into a sneer. “I know what people are liable to do when they’re scared. Officially my position here is diplomatic but sometimes it takes my security forces to, shall we say, ease hostile negotiations between the companies.”

Kaidan nodded. “Makes sense. I can see why Shepard being here would be an issue for them.”

At that, the female omega finally took a good look at Kaidan. Apprehension settled in Kaidan’s gut as her scent went deliberately neutral. “Why aren't you with your alpha?”

Kaidan froze in shock. To be asked that particular question, from another combat trained omega of all people. He had spent so long coming to terms with his secondary sex, fought against the societal expectation that he'd be a ‘kept’ man, be essentially someone else’s _property_...

“He is your alpha isn’t he? I can smell him all over you.” She took a good look at his neck. “No bond mark though... he must still be courting you. Though why you’d want _him_ , I can’t really fathom.” Condescension was heavy in her voice, mocking him for his choice. The way she held herself, the relaxed stance showing that Matsuo did not view him as a threat, took on another meaning. One he did not like in the slightest.

Kaidan quieted the growl that rose in his chest. He resisted the urge to prove his worth to the other omega, though the brief whiff of smoky pheromones and the way his fists clenched, gave his indignation away. There was no way to deny the accusation; if he said that it wasn’t Shepard’s fault, it would only make both of them look weak. If he said that Shepard was different, it would only serve to prove to Matsuo that he was just another omega that had accepted their status as chattel. Nevermind that Shepard had been so respectful of him before the beacon’s damage had set in...

“I do not need to justify myself to you.” Eyeing off the other omega’s unmarked neck, he could only guess that Matsuo was like what he had been before meeting Shepard; convinced that no alpha was worth the bonding. That she saw it as a loss of her autonomy, her independence.

Matsuo merely smiled at his inspection. “You know, I have heard of Commander Shepard. A man who crawled his way up from nothing and is, from all accounts, an exceptional soldier.” She tsked, making sure to look Kaidan in the eyes. “He has not lived up to his reputation.”

He cursed internally; something must have happened. Of all the times he could have gotten a migraine. Eyeing Matsuo off, he swallowed his pride and relaxed his body. “...what did he do?”

“Raised a ruckus about standard procedure regarding using the Port’s garages. Broke into one of the Synthetic Insights Offices, assaulted several of my subordinates, though I did warn them about taking jobs on the side.” She paused for a moment. “Somehow got Administrator Anoleis arrested.”

Kaidan cringed. Fuck, it was worse than he thought. Shepard was lucky that he was a Spectre. From the sounds of it, his rages had only gotten worse while he had been lying in medbay. They had to find out _why_ the rages were happening and quickly, or the alpha could risk a dishonourable discharge from the Alliance.

The moment was broken when her omni-tool beeped. “Shit.” Looking at Kaidan she frowned. “You better come with me. Your alpha,” she said with a sneer, “is shooting up the garage.”

She walked off without waiting for a reply, commands already being issued on her omni-tool. Kaidan was relieved to hear her request for turian guards; most of the human security forces were alphas and they would only serve to agitate Shepard further.

Following the other omega through the port, Kaidan suppressed the childish thought of knocking Matsuo on her ass with his biotics.

No matter how satisfying it would be, Shepard was his only priority right now.

\---

The garage was in pandemonium.

Kaidan had arrived with Matsuo’s security forces, just in time to see the Normandy squad take down the last of the geth. Adrenaline coursed through his system as a fight or flight instinct, visions of Eden Prime danced in his mind. He allowed himself a simple breath before harshly suppressing the reaction. He could see both Shepard and Ashley panting hard from the fight and he made sure to concentrate honeyed, calming pheromones in their direction, though at this distance there would be little effect.

“What the hell are those things? Secure the area, no one gets in or out!” Matsuo yelled. Her own pheromones had flared brightly, caustic irritation, a sickly contrast to Kaidan’s much sweeter scent. “What did you do here Commander?”

Kaidan eyed the garage with a careful eye. What had he done indeed?

To Shepard’s credit, the alpha seemed calm, no trace of bloodlust as he holstered his gun. He smiled as his eyes met Kaidan’s own, before hardening at Matsuo. “The geth ambushed us, we fought back. Simple.”

Kaidan blinked, taken aback slightly. From what he had personally witnessed before his migraine, and from what Matsuo had told him, he had been expecting Shepard to be practically feral by this point. But here the alpha was, calmly addressing the foreign omega in front of him. A short sniff revealed only the usual alpha post-battle high pheromones from both Shepard and Ash.

“Geth? You expect me to…” Matsuo paused, finally seeming to have taken in the sight of the downed geth. Her acidic pheromones mellowed somewhat and Kaidan resisted the urge to sneeze to clear his senses of the remainder. “Where did they come from?”

“I’m guessing they were with the shipping containers with Matriarch Benezia.” Shepard spoke with short, clipped tones, scent becoming smokier as he dealt with the female omega. It was clear that he was already running out of patience. Behind him, Ash and Liara busied themselves with digging through the robotic corpses, salvaging anything they thought could be useful. Wrex glowered from behind the commander.

“What? That’s impossible...we did thorough scans.” Matsuo’s scent turned musty, as she considered the possibilities.

“I need numbers Captain. Dozens? Hundreds?” Shepard’s voice was direct but his eyes never left Matsuo’s and his pheromones were almost oppressive. He was like a hawk eyeing off its prey.

“Dozens at least.” Matsuo frowned at the alpha’s pheromones, her own turning floral and Kaidan saw Shepard relax marginally. “I must report to the Executive Board. If word gets out about loose Geth, there is going to be an investor panic.”

Without waiting for a reply, Matsuo turned and left, waving her guards along to follow.

Shepard glared at her retreating back, lip curled in a snare, before gesturing towards the Mako. “Let’s go.”

Wrex grunted, holstering his shotgun and moving off, “Finally. Can’t wait to blow this joint.”

Ashley and Liara turned to follow the Commander towards the Mako. Kaidan moved too, but Shepard walked in front of him, stopping him. “Kaidan, I need a word with you. Privately.”

Kaidan nodded, though he frowned. John smelled... distressed? What should have been a comforting scent of leather from the alpha, had an edge to it, like it was charred. Damn, he knew that what had happened a few nights ago would have an impact on the man, but not this much. Where was the confident commander that he had fallen for?

They didn’t speak to each other, just watched as the squad moved towards the far end of the garage. Ash turned and gave Shepard a pointed look, before moving in to talk with Liara. Kaidan smiled at that; the asari was going to need all the support they could give her for what lay ahead. Still, the atmosphere between the two men was almost confining, their relationship strained. He supposed that John had taken his parting words to heart...

_Prove that you’re not just sorry, but rather that you can leash yourself._

Kaidan felt a flash of guilt; he hadn’t even had time to tell the Commander about his suspicions. He watched Shepard out of the corner of his eye, taking in the slightly hunched posture and bowed head, the way his quick breathing had nothing to do with the fight against the geth and everything to do with his presence. Oh god... the man was ashamed of himself. His eyes widened at the revelation. Prove it, he had said.

It was John who broke the silence. “Lieutenant, I can’t let you come with me on this one.”

“With all due respect, Commander,” Kaidan suppressed the growl building up in his chest, “you need me.”

“No.” Shepard shook his head. His scent flared, the harshness making the omega want to sneeze. “I need you to stay here with Tali and Garrus, clean up the left over geth.”

Kaidan steeled himself. “Don’t make me invoke my prerogative as your Omega Officer, _Commander_.”

Shepard whirled around, growling at him. Kaidan stood his ground. He would not back down over something like this. The air between them thickened, neither of them willing to break eye contact, before finally Shepard sighed and looked away. The man almost deflated in front of him, all signs of alpha aggressiveness melting away.

When he spoke, it was as a mere whisper, “I don’t want to hurt you, Kaidan.”

“Shepard,” Kaidan’s eyes narrowed, stepping into John’s personal space. “Don’t you dare coddle me.”

The alpha put his hands up, unwilling to let Kaidan closer. “What if I lose control and attack you? Try to... dominate you?”

“Just because of what I am, what I was born as, doesn’t mean I’ll submit to just any alpha, John.”

Shepard cringed, his inner alpha whining in the face of its intended bondmate so angry. “I know you’re capable, but not like this, you haven’t… these... rages I’ve been having. They’re not normal.”

“You’re not in your right mind. And it’s not your fault. That’s why I can’t let you go without me. I’m your only option, if you don’t want to chance an alpha rage. As your Omega Officer, I’m telling you... without me there, you will be compromised.”

“Not my... fault? How is this anything but my fault?”

Kaidan shook his head. “With the migraine I never really got a chance to tell you, but I think its a combination of the prothean beacon and the mind meld with Liara. Before I went to medbay I had a chat with the doctor about it, she might have even been able to talk to Chakwas. We can sort your control out later, but for now, I need to be in your team John. I can help you.”

Shepard smiled at the use of his first name. His intended wasn’t angry with him if his was using that name. Then he stepped back, wary. “Assuming that you still trust me.”

Kaidan didn’t speak, wouldn’t make eye contact with the other. It was far from a submissive gesture though, his body deliberately turned. “You really think so little of me Shepard?”

John flinched, shame washing through him. He hated how often he’d felt that over the last two days.

The omega sighed, turning towards the other man. “I know you’re angry. I know that you hate this loss of control.” Kaidan stepped forward, pressing his forehead against the alpha's. His hands found the commander's, grasping them tight. John let out a shaky breath, the charred scent in his pheromones disappearing. Projecting warmth and welcoming pheromones, he smiled at the alpha, then rubbed his cheek along the other’s neck, scent-marking him. It was a gesture that spoke of his consent to proceed with the courtship despite the other’s difficulties.

Finally, Shepard relaxed, taking the omega into his arms. “I’m so sorry,” he whispered.

“We’ll get through this John,” Kaidan murmured back. “Just don’t leave me behind. I can help you.”

Shepard nodded, then leant back to press a soft kiss to Kaidan’s forehead. The alpha’s pheromones, Kaidan noted, were balanced for the moment.

Projecting his own pheromones, Kaidan smirked as the usual confidence seeped back into Shepard’s posture.

“Let’s go find that Matriarch.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Man, what a crazy term! I can't believe how tired I was, I just ended up being completely drained of all energy.
> 
> Though, as soon as I got on holidays, I was able to get this out in like two days :D 
> 
> Thank-you so much for reading <3 I hope you enjoyed the new chapter! As always, comments are absolute love <3


	19. Noveria 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Noveria finally comes to a close; the team deals with Benezia and the rachni queen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woo! Back in the writing game! This is a fairly long chapter, please enjoy it ^_^ I'm glad to be finally DONE with Noveria tbh.
> 
> Enjoy <3

It was easy to tell why general access to Peak 15 was closed; the blizzard was genuinely awful. Landmarks were hidden behind white dense swirls, sophisticated military systems the only way to navigate the already dangerous mountain peaks. Without it, the geth they encountered would have been little more than crude outlines, erased by the storm.

No matter that Kaidan was Canadian, Noveria was bloody freezing. His body suit under his armour did a fair job of insulating him but it could only do so much. He found himself absurdly grateful when they finally reached the facility. Then of course, they went inside to a mixed bag of horrors...

“Alright, what the fuck is that?” Ashley growled at the fallen alien, kicking it with her boot. Her smoky pheromones flared, causing Kaidan to snort. He darted a look towards Shepard, but the alpha seemed amused, rather than agitated.

Wrex grinned at Ashley’s obvious disdain for the bug. “That,” the krogan rumbled, “is a rachni.”

“Wrex!” Ashley snapped, eyes narrowing at him. “The rachni are fucking extinct.”

“Yeh, thanks to the Krogan. You’re welcome by the way.” Wrex snorted, ignoring her to examine the corpses.

“Ash, don’t you remember our report about the rachni we found on Binthu? I wonder if Cerberus is behind these ones as well.” Kaidan blinked, looked at the creature, then grinned. “It looks like, uh, a giant prawn.”

Ashley snorted. “Really LT?”

“What? It does.” A whiff of momentary sour caused Kaidan to look at John. He looked a little pale. "Shepard? You alright?"

"...I’m allergic to seafood."

Kaidan snorted, then shook his head, though he couldn’t help but smile at the commander. “Just make sure you get to them first, and I’m sure you’ll be fine.”

Shepard found himself smiling back, before seeming to remember that there were three other people there. Smoothly moving back into ‘commander’ mode, he frowned. “So we have geth, rachni, rogue spectres...what else do we have to deal with on this fucking hunk of frozen rock?”

\---

The answer to that question had been, in no particular order; more geth, more rachni, the power being out, repairing the power, saving trapped civilians in an underground lab and last, but not least, Matriarch Benezia herself.

They found her within the bowels of the facility, though unexpectedly alone. She was only with her computer, concentrating on whatever it was that required an armed security force to protect. Taking up a sizeable portion of the dimly lit room, was a large, clear tube of some kind. Shepard ignored it for the moment, waving the team inside, the group moving as silently as possible. Ash and Wrex moved in on point, while Kaidan hung back with Liara. The commander, in the center, moved directly towards the Matriarch.

“You think I will be moved by sympathy, swayed by the presence of my offspring.” Benezia ignored them for the moment, her voice carrying clearly from across the room. Liara jumped, and Kaidan wished that his pheromones could work on her. The likelihood of this ending well was not high, and he wished that he could help her.

Inside the tube was movement, though too quick for anyone to make out just what it was.

The Matriarch merely continued to look at her imprisoned charge however, caressing the glass as tenderly as she had possibly done once upon a time, with her own pregnant belly. Finally she spoke again,“You do not know the privilege of being a mother.”

Shepard snarled, teeth bared and elongated slightly, his pheromones turning oppressively smoky in an instant. “Liara is here by her own choice. Not because I asked her to.”

“Mother! Why are you doing this?” Liara called across the room, her pain making her voice crack. Kaidan placed a hand on her shoulder, but the asari shrugged it off. This was not the time for overt sympathy, and he stood back to show he respected that.

She was ignored.

“We found her in the darkness, a queen frozen within the ruins of a spaceship.”

“She’s insane,” Kaidan whispered. Liara nodded, eyes wide but her scent becoming almost caustic with shock. He found himself projecting to her, in the vain hope that his own scent would have some sort of effect. Though...concentrating slightly, he extended his biotic field, gently caressing it against Liara’s own. She blinked, turning to him with wide eyes, but the acidic scent did lessen. The asari offered him a small smile before turning back to where her mother was.

“Her children were to be ours. Raised to hunt and slay Saren’s enemies. But here, she has another purpose.” Benezia smiled as she manipulated the controls, the clear tube rising into their line of sight. There was something inside though, two long tendrils twitching within the prison.

The alien inside the transparent cage shrieked, manipulated by brilliant electricity that began to arc through the tube.

Kaidan almost felt dizzy at the wave of heady alpha pheromones releasing into the room. Gasping he fought back an instinctual physical response to fall to his knees. His inner omega screamed at him to submit, to bare his neck, show his submission to the dominant creatures before him. He had never felt anything like it before! Not even when he a new recruit for the Alliance, being tested for his resilience.

Vaguely, he heard Ashley and Shepard snarl in tandem. Through bleary eyes, Kaidan looked up at the two alphas, fighting through the pheromone-induced haze as he watched them abandon their weaponry, baring their teeth as they circled each other. Ashley’s mind was addled enough by the pheromones to try to dominate the already established Alpha alpha. Kaidan cursed as he realised that once they were done with each other, it’d be him they’d be after next.

Benezia was laughing in the background, “You are weak. Controlled by your baser instincts so easily. Your biology is laughable.”

She smirked as she watched the three of them struggle with their baser natures. Kaidan groaned, fought to keep his mind clear as the pheromones assaulted his senses. It was too much; he fell to one knee, holding his head in both hands, gasping for breath.

Both alphas were fully trained combatants; it would take some time for one to back down in front of the other.

Liara gasped, taking a step backwards. “What are you doing to them?!”

“They’ll take care of themselves dear daughter, thanks to our queen here.” Benezia smiled but it was cold. She directed her gaze at Wrex, dismissing the presence of Liara. “Have you ever faced down an asari commando unit before? Few have. I doubt you’ll be able to take them on with only my daughter by your side.”

“Not just her,” Kaidan gasped out, grimacing from his place on the floor. It didn’t look like much, a short tube held in the palm of his hand. He just never thought he’d actually have to use it. Holding the depressor against his neck, near his scent gland, Kaidan grunted as it activated, piercing his skin. The effect was almost instantaneous, and he shuddered as the world became dulled.

Liara rushed forward, grasping him by the forearms as he stumbled. She tugged him over to cover, where Wrex had established a biotic shield in the meantime.

“What was that?” the asari whispered.

“Pheromone suppressant,” Kaidan’s nose twitched, trying to scent his surroundings but failing. The asari commandos would be here any moment.

“Nice,” Wrex grinned. “Got one for either of those two?” He nodded in the direction of the two alphas still competing for dominance.

Kaidan shook his head. “I only carry the one, and it’s formulated for omegas anyway.”

“Of course it is,” Wrex growled. “Liara, concentrate on your barriers. We’re about to have company.”

“Damnit Wrex, I’m a scientist not a soldier!”

Kaidan burst out laughing, causing Liara and Wrex to look at him strangely. He waved away their concerns. “I’ll explain it later.”

Liara frowned, casting a questioning look at the krogan. Wrex just shrugged. "Humans."

A feral snarl broke the moment, and Kaidan frowned as he took in their two teammates still fighting each other for dominance. “We need to stop them.”

Liara nodded. “How?”

“Liara, I’ll need you to hold a barrier for us.” Kaidan looked up at the large krogan. “Wrex, think you can grab both of them in a stasis?”

Wrex grunted. “One.”

Kaidan frowned, then nodded. “One will have to do. Okay, here’s what we need to do before those commandos come.”

\---

The smoky ash pheromones burned through his mind, wiping out rational thought. A short sniff confirmed the presence of an omega behind him, _his_ omega.

A snarl came from in front of him, and his head snapped up, snarling back without thought. An _alpha_ had dared to challenge him!

Shepard bared his teeth and his inner alpha roared, as the other did the same. He would not back down in the face of such an obvious challenge. He would prove to his omega that he was a good alpha, a good mate that could protect his omega.

Howling a warning, he launched himself at the other, and they both attempted to wrestle each other into the ground. They scuffled together before Shepard gained the upper hand. He released one of his hands, using it jab the other alpha repeatedly in the ribs. She gasped and he gloated for a moment, roaring his victory until she managed to grab his head, bringing his face down sharply into her bent knee.

Shepard grunted as blood flowed freely from his nose, his inner alpha screaming as he staggered backwards.

An animal roar escaped from Ashley’s chest and she launched herself at Shepard, flaring her own pheromones as she did so. John grunted at the impact, but held his ground against the other alpha’s assault.

They grappled, each fighting for the upper hand. Eventually, John was able to slam his opponent into the floor. It was not entirely clear whether the female’s pained hiss came from her back colliding with the ground or John’s teeth in her neck. It didn’t really matter, it made his inner alpha gloat with his superiority.

The female bucked, her knee coming up to try and to push him off, but he was too fast.

One hand curled around her throat, slamming the back of her head to the ground, squeezing harshly as he did so.

She gasped, or at least tried to, clawing at his hand around her throat. Her eyes were wild, her breaths laboured. Shepard grinned ferally as the other’s face slowly turned red beneath him. His pheromones flared wildly, broadcasting his victory for all in his presence.

Then the world took on a haze of blue as he’s frozen.

\---

At the edges of the eyebrows, one would find the temples. This is the point at which the skull bones meet, the weakest point of the skull because there is no solid bone beneath them. For an alpha, touching that region without permission, was as great a social faux pas as touching the back of an omega’s neck.

What Kaidan was about to attempt, could very well kill the alpha, but he saw little options at this point. Shepard seemed about ready to kill Ashley. Kaidan spared a moment to curse at Benezia at being forced to have his own pheromones suppressed and useless. With the amount of alpha pheromones the captive rachni was pumping out, Shepard and Ashley would probably be very much useless until they stopped whatever Benezia was doing.

Kaidan gave a nod towards Wrex, the krogan’s body flaring bright blue and almost simultaneously, Shepard froze in place, his hands locked around Ashley’s throat. Kaidan darted out from behind their cover, trusting in Liara’s barrier to deflect any incoming fire from Benezia. Luckily the Matriarch seemed...distracted for the moment.

Reaching the commander, Kaidan came up behind him and cupped his hands around Shepard’s face, feeling out where his temples were. Even through the stasis, he swore that he could feel John’s rage at being touched so. Concentrating, Kaidan dug his fingers into the vulnerable area, feeling that slight ‘give’ that he was looking for, before pressing in as hard as he could manage. His biotics flared, and Kaidan concentrated, extending his field briefly, yet gently, through his hands _into_ the bones of Shepard’s skull.

The commander’s entire body just seemed to slump, going like putty in Kaidan’s hands, as the man fell unconscious. The alpha murmured nonsensically as Kaidan threw him across his back in a fireman’s carry. Quickly, the omega moved back towards cover, signalling Wrex to go grab Ashley.

Liara grunted as the commando’s arrived within the facility, the first of their shots hitting her barrier. It held.

Wrex is stood over Ashley’s comatose body, roaring as he fired at the incoming asari, his own barrier repelling their fire.

Kaidan wanted nothing more than to reassure himself that Shepard was alright, but Wrex needed his help. Standing from behind cover, he flared his biotics and grinned as his Throw collided with two of the commandos. The rest of the current squad was taken out through Wrex’s shots.

Hoisting Ashley up, Wrex deposited her behind their barricade.

“Bloody hell Shepard,” Kaidan whispered as he took in her injuries. Dark bruising was beginning to show on her throat, the bite mark bright red in comparison. Activating his medi-gel unit, Kaidan did what he could to stabilize the alpha, though she wasn't going to be able to help them in this particular firefight.

“Will she be alright?” Liara asked, the amount of concern in her voice caused Kaidan to look at her. Smiling in what he hoped was a reassuring manner, he nodded.

The sigh of relief from the asari caused him to raise an eyebrow, then smirk. Maybe something had happened between the two while he had been preoccupied with Shepard. For Ash’s sake, he found himself hoping so.

“How are they?” Wrex grunted.

“They’ll live.” Kaidan frowned, shuffling over to Shepard. “Ashley needs proper medical attention but I’ve stabilized her for now. Shepard...well…” Trusting Wrex to keep his guard up and that Liara’s barrier would hold, Kaidan inspected the commander. He activated his medi-gel once more, letting the substance heal Shepard’s open wounds. Luckily, there didn’t seem to be many. His head however...Kaidan hoped that he had done the right thing. If he’d done the technique correctly, all that should happen would be some slight confusion. If he’d been off the mark however, well...he didn’t really want to think about it.

“We’ve got to take out those Commandos and stop Benezia. Whatever she’s done to that rachni, those pheromones are going to keep Ash and Shep out of the fight until we stop her.”

Wrex nodded easily. The krogan’s body glowed blue, throwing his biotics at one of the asari commandos, hurling her backwards into another, the both of them knocked unconscious as they hit the far wall. He roared, jumping over the barrier, running towards the three remaining enemy asari.

It was almost comical, the asari commandos freezing momentarily in the face of a rampaging krogan battlemaster. A blue flash hurled Wrex backwards for a moment, though he brushed off the biotic attack as a momentary diversion, easily picking himself off the ground to fire with his assault rifle at the other soldiers. Their eyes widened comically as their biotics had little effect, but Kaidan, momentarily moving from cover to extend his field around the commandos, lifted the three into the air. They flailed, their barriers deflecting the artillery fire, but then Liara’s biotic throw slammed them into the far wall. Wrex huffed, a fierce grin directed back at them both.

“You are more annoying than I first thought.” Benezia’s cold voice rings out across the facility, breaking through the momentary lull in combat. “No matter, I can take care of you myself.”

The Matriarch summoned her biotics, the blue glow somehow ominous. She pointed at Wrex, freezing the krogan in place. A hand movement tossed him aside and she advanced towards where Liara and Kaidan are hidden.

“Saren is unstoppable, my mind is filled with his light.”

Liara refocussed her barrier, nodding at Kaidan as she held it in place. He took aim at the advancing asari, precise shots aimed at the Matriarch’s head. He grimaced as her biotic barrier deflected it all.

“He whispers in my mind, shows me the future.” Benezia stopped, summoning her biotics again. “The rachni are merely a means to an end. They are an army, tools to help us achieve greatness.”

“Mother, please! Stop this madness,” Liara tried again, and inexplicably, _something_ within Benezia seemed to hesitate.

For a moment, the Matriarch held her hard gaze, but her biotic field...wavered.

“I...will not betray him,” the asari whispered, so low that Kaidan strained to hear it.

Liara hopped over the cover, eyes fixed on her mother. “We can help you Mother.”

Benezia’s eyes snapped up, fixing on her daughter, but she seemed almost reluctant as she threw Liara back towards where Kaidan is hiding.

It didn’t matter. Kaidan swung himself over the barricade, at the same moment that Wrex unfroze from the stasis Benezia had placed him in. They both advanced, firing towards the Matriarch.

The asari raised both her hands, and Kaidan internally cursed as both him and Wrex awee frozen in place. This was going real bad, real fast.

But whatever Kaidan had been expecting, it was not for the Matriarch to suddenly collapse onto her knees, one hand on her head, the other bracing herself.

“I...you must...listen,” she gasped. “Saren, he has some kind of compulsion. People aren't themselves around him. They come to idolize him, worship him.”

For a moment, the stasis on Kaidan and Wrex slipped, the krogan raising his gun before it tightened again. Helpless, they watched as Benezia struggled within herself.

“The key is Sovereign. It...it indoctrinates you, bends your will to his.”

“No, you’re wrong mother.” Liara began to limp towards them, having recovered from where her mother had thrown her. “Saren isn’t here. You only have yourself to blame.”

Benezia continued, trapped within herself as she fought the compulsions. “I thought I was strong enough to resist...I was wrong. So very wrong…”

Kaidan’s fingers twitched within the stasis, noticing Wrex doing the same. Soon, they could help.

“I was so eager to serve him…” Benezia’s head snapped up, eyes locked onto Liara’s. She smiled, both sad and proud at the same time. “You have to stop... me. I can’t. His teeth are at my ear. Fingers on my spine. You need to…” She wavered, seemingly fighting for words, before slumping fully onto the floor.

“You don’t have to do this mother,” Liara had almost made it to where Benezia lay, her pained face speaking of beyond her injury.

Finally, the field holding Kaidan and Wrex in place evaporated and Kaidan grabbed onto Wrex’s arm. He shook his head, and they both hung back from moving towards the two asari.

Benezia looked at her daughter approaching, blinking, seemingly confused. Then she focussed, reaching into her dress. Kaidan tensed for a moment but the Matriarch merely removed a disc, holding it out for Liara to take. “Take it. Saren sent me here to find the location of the Mu Mass Relay. It’s position was lost thousands of years ago in rachni controlled space. The rachni share memories across generations. Queens inherit the knowledge of their mothers. I took the location of the Mu Relay from the queen’s mind.” She suddenly sobbed, “I was not gentle.”

Wrex grunted, “That’s not enough. Where does he plan to go?”

“Kill me,” Benezia gasped, reaching towards Liara. “Please. I can tell...I’m losing control.” A single tear slipped from the Matriarch’s eye, and Kaidan felt his heart break for Liara.

“You’ve always made me proud...little wing.” Her voice, strained by the end of the sentence, hiccuping.

The Matriarch screamed, her body exploding in blue as she summoned energy, her eyes clouded by rage once more. She raised her hand, aiming her powers towards Liara.

Kaidan narrowed his eyes, a snarl on his breath. Beside him, Wrex did the same, raising his rifle to shot. Too slowly though, far too slow. Kaidan watched as if in slow motion, helpless to defend Liara from her fate.

A single shot rang out from across the room.

Benezia’s head jerked, her hand falling into her lap. Her eyes eerily gazed at nothing, her body going limp. The newly made hole in her head was so small, barely bleeding at all.

Kaidan turned, surprised to find Shepard behind him, gun still raised as he breathed heavily from exertion.

“Shepard…” he murmured, holstering his gun, before moving towards the alpha. Kaidan found himself grateful that the commander was already back on his feet, no sign visible of the rage that had enveloped him previously.

The commander nodded at him, acknowledging his presence but a raised hand stopped Kaidan from approaching. Shepard moved towards where Liara still stood in shock. He waited behind her, and grimaced at the sight of her mother, dead from his gun.

“I’m sorry,” John whispered.

For a moment, Liara ignored him, bending down to touch her mother. She reached out, hesitant at first, before closing her mother’s eyes. Taking the data disc still in her mother’s hand, she took a deep breath before standing again, this time with confidence. “It had to be done.”

Shepard gave a short nod, turning around to give her as much privacy as he could in the circumstances. He looked at Kaidan and Wrex for a moment, then nodded his approval.   
“Get Ashley. We’re done here.”

Wrex left without a word, seemingly eager to be away from the scene. Kaidan hesitated though, looking up at the tube containing the captive rachni. He frowned, moving towards the tube. The rachni within, spotting his approach, screeched at him. Its tendrils twirled, moving towards him, trying to...sense him? Shepard frowned, then noticed where Kaidan was looking and walked towards the tube.

Kaidan took a look at the controls where Benezia had manipulated the creature into producing the hostile pheromones, jumping slightly when Shepard placed his hand on his shoulder. Yeah, he could really do with his scenting abilities back. Though, it could take a few hours to do so.

“What is it?” Shepard quietly murmured.

“A rachni queen apparently.” Kaidan nodded towards the console. He eyed off a canister above her, “With enough acid to completely dissolve her.” He frowned. Would Shepard do that? Exterminate the last of a species? Kaidan looked towards the alpha, who was studying the creature. A few weeks ago, Kaidan would have been certain that John wouldn’t have done it...but with the alpha rages? He didn’t know anymore. A sick feeling twisted in his gut.

Shepard’s head snapped up, looking at him in surprise. “Kaidan? Are you alright? Your pheromones. They’re...strange.”

Kaidan smiled, nodding. “They’ll be fine. I had to inject myself with an emergency suppressant.”

The other frowned, opening his mouth to reply but before he could, the moment was interrupted.

_“Do not. Leave.”_

Both of them whirled around, guns immediately out and pointing towards the newcomer. Kaidan blinked. An asari stood before them, one of the commandos...but weren’t they all dead? The body staggered, stopping where it was.

_“This one. Serves. As our voice.”_

The imprisoned rachni screeched, drawing attention to it. Kaidan’s eyes widened, as he placed two and two together. The queen was _speaking_ to them!

“Well...that’s not creepy at all,” Kaidan breathed, shuddering at the sight of a dead corpse talking.

_“We cannot sing. Not in these low spaces. Your musics are colorless.”_

Shepard glanced back at the queen behind them, then at the dead asari. “What are you talking about?”

_“We are the mother. We sing. For those left behind. The children you thought silenced. We. Are rachni.”_

Shepard growled, turning towards the rachni queen. He motioned at Kaidan, and the omega kept his gun trained on the asari that was speaking. “Did you order your children to kill the people out there?” The commander motioned to the room’s entrance. Once more, Kaidan wished for his pheromones, to ease the alpha’s oncoming rage.

_“You smell. Prothean.”_

“What?” Shepard blinked, the words taking him off guard.

_“You. More than the others. You stink of the Manipulators.”_

“The beacon,” Liara whispered, walking up from behind the dead asari. She didn’t seemed bothered by it speaking, taking the time to examine it.

“What do you know?” Shepard demanded.

_“I can give you. That knowledge. Release me.”_

“No! You can’t do that Shepard.” Wrex growled. The krogan was holding onto Ash, and it was clear that he had heard the entire conversation.

_“Is our kind so frightening? You would seek our silence if you cannot muffle our songs? If you cannot have us as your obedient claws?”_

“No. I can’t.” Shepard shook his head.

Kaidan felt his heart warm. The alpha he had fallen in love with was still there.

“I can’t be responsible for the genocide of an entire race.”

_“You will give us the chance to compose anew? We will remember. We will sing of your forgiveness to our children.”_

“Great. Bugs are writing songs about you. Mark my words. You'll regret this,” Wrex muttered. “If it tries to kill you, I’m gonna let it.”

Shepard stepped forward, pressing the buttons on the control panel to release the rachni queen.

The tube hissed as it slowly opened. Kaidan and Liara tensed, weapons pointing at the creature, but it did nothing, merely walking slowly towards the commander. The dead asari crumbled to the ground, the queen no longer needing the host body to communicate.

_Will you sing with us?_

Her voice was everywhere in his head, like a choir, somehow both soft and harsh at the same time. It was ancient, beautiful and raw. Shepard nodded, giving his consent. The queen scuttled forward, her tendrils lifting towards his face and, ever so softly, placed them against his temples. He hissed softly, the area still tender, but allowed it.

Images swam through his mind, but unlike the beacon, gentle yet insistent. The queen shared her ancestral memories; he felt her pain at the Protheans discovering the rachni and enslaving them, breeding them for war, then her joy at rising above their masters and escaping their literal shackles. She mourned her fallen brethren; the Protheans who attempted to eradicate them across their hundreds of worlds and the Krogan who succeeded. Shepard knew she was the last, and for a moment, he shared her despair.

“They tried to control you,” Shepard whispered. “And so did we.”

_They did it with you too. The pheromones. It’s them._

“What?”

_The Protheans. They manipulated our pheromones. To make us easier to control. They failed. They tried again with the sol-born. So long ago._

Shepard’s mind reeled with the implications. The Protheans had experimented on early humans, had changed them. Their ability to produce and control pheromones...it had been engineered, not evolved.

_Take my memories. Take your mind back. The manipulators will not win your mind._

Shepard gasped, the knowledge of how the protheans manipulated their pheromones was just _there_. He could use that, regain himself, regain his control!

The queen screeched; a farewell and a thank-you. She moved off towards the back of the facility and Shepard knew, beyond a doubt, that she would keep her promise.

“Are you okay Shepard?” Kadian moved towards the alpha, but careful to keep out of his reach.

“Yeah.” Shepard nodded. “Let’s take care of the feral rachni, then head back to the Normandy. We’ve got a hell of a debrief.”

\---

“Hey.”

John turned from his console, smiling when he saw that it was Kaidan. Though the omega hovered at the entrance, seemingly uncertain of whether to intrude or not. Shepard waved him inside, and felt grateful when Kaidan nodded, moving towards the seat in front of his desk. John breathed in deep, the wonderful smell that was uniquely his future bondmate, grateful that the pheromone blocker had worn off the omega with no negative side effects.

“Hey.” Kaidan smiled, then took a deep breathe to steady himself. He spoke softly, breaching a subject that would be touchy for the alpha. “How’s your head?”

“It’s fine. You did what you had to.” The answer was curt, a clear indication that he didn’t really want to discuss it. Silence stretched for a long moment, both of the men fidgeting awkwardly, until Shepard sighed. “Just finished checking up on Liara.”

“Yeh, how’s she doing?”

John snorted, his pheromones having a slight salty edge to them, evidence of the man’s frustration. The alpha shook his head, then focussed on his omega.

“What would you have done Kaidan?” Shepard whispered, his scent changing, taking on a hint of vinegar.

The omega blinked, taken a little bit aback. “What do you mean?”

“Killing Liara’s mother, letting the rachni queen free...did I do the right thing?”

Kaidan opened his mouth, then stopped, reconsidering his words. Shepard didn’t need a pointless placate, he needed the truth. “You didn’t have a choice John. It had to be done.”

“Have I just doomed future races by unleashing her on the galaxy?”

Letting his pheromones soothe the other, Kaidan got out of the chair.“This is big stuff and I don’t think there really is a right or uh, wrong. We just have to hope that she keeps her word.” He took Shepard’s hand, squeezing it.

“She was so...lonely Kaidan, in so much pain at the loss of her children. I thought they were just bugs but…” the alpha looked up, “She was so intelligent. Caring, in her own way. The stories of them, I thought they were just murderous animals.”

Kaidan nodded, taking the hand of the other, before drawing him into a hug. He nuzzled into Shepard’s neck, breathing in the smell of the other.

Shepard sighed. “What she showed me...the protheans enslaved them. Tried to breed them for their own ends. The pheromones that the queen could produce, they were engineered. It's why they worked on us so well...the protheans, well, they engineered us too.”

“Wait...what?” Kaidan leaned back, frowning as he looked Shepard in the eye.

“Yeh...I don’t really know what to think about that right now, on top of everything else.” Shepard smiled, looking infinitely weary for the moment. “That will probably remain classified as fuck to be honest.”

Kaidan let out a bark of laughter. “You don’t fucking say.”

John smiled, breathing in the citrus pheromones of the other, happy that Kaidan was relaxing with him again. He squeezed his eyes shut, nuzzling into Kaidan’s neck and breathed in the scent of the other. They held each other, quietly enjoying the scent and presence of the other.

“Though…” God, he was a masochist for asking this but he had to know. “What if Liara and Chakwas examination from the rachni memories yield nothing? What if I’m stuck with this prothean bullshit in my head forever, moods fucking swinging all over the place? There is no way you’d want an alpha that can’t control themself…”

“Sssh. I care about you John. I do, you’re the only alpha I’ve ever had feelings for. You’re…different. The problems that you’re currently having, they’re not your fault.” Kaidan smiled at the other man. _His_ alpha, he decided.

Kaidan took a step forward towards John, slowly closing the distance between them. Shepard’s heart just about jumped into his throat, and all his words disappeared. The omega’s hands cupped his face, and John could’t find in himself to do more than hope, and for the moment, they merely looked into each other’s eyes. The brown eyes in front of him were swimming with an emotion that the alpha couldn’t place, and not for the first time, he felt pain at having hurt his intended bondmate so. Kaidan’s thumb brushed over his cheek, the firm touch making him want to lean into the other’s hold.

Any lingering doubt about Kaidan’s continued interest in himself, is scattered as the omega leaned in, and gently pressed his lips to John’s own. It was everything that the alpha has been missing and yet, he still felt like a deer in the headlights, unable to move, heart beating madly in his chest. Kaidan was just so warm and soft against him, and he missed it intensely when the omega withdrew.

Shepard ignored the little jump in his heart, the feeling of being forgiven. He reached out for the other’s hand and they tangled their fingers together. It’s only for a moment but it’s enough to calm the alpha’s worries.

“You’ll get through this.” Kaidan pressed his forehead against the others, making sure to look into his eyes. “I’ll be with you, every step of the way.”

Once again, his words failed him, and all Shepard could give the other was a firm nod. A steady squeeze and they let go of each other.

Kaidan nodded, a gentle smile on his handsome face. John’s heart beat so fast he could hardly breathe, mesmerised at the way the expression tugged at the scar bisecting those gorgeous lips…

The overhead comm switched on, _“Sorry to interrupt you commander. The council is on the line requesting your immediate report.”_

Shepard blinked, jerking himself back to reality, suddenly remembering how to breathe. “Acknowledged Joker. I’ll be there soon.” He frowned at the other man, wanting nothing more than to continue their conversation.

“We can talk more later,” Kaidan murmured.

“Yeh, we’ll see what the council wants, and hopefully Chakwas might have an answer regarding that rachni research. So…later then.”

Nodding, Kaidan turned and left, the door to his cabin softly closing behind him.

Somehow Shepard made it to his bed, falling heavily into it, indulging himself in the phantom feeling of Kaidan’s lips against his own. No one else had ever made him feel like this before; his alpha instincts simultaneously screaming at him to dominate and protect the other. His body practically ached to haul Kaidan back into his room, to kiss the other breathless and rut into him, own and possess him.

But he won’t. Kaidan deserved so much better than that, and despite how much he desperately wanted it, he would not disrespect the other that way.

Feeling lighter than he had in a while, John smiled at himself, then left his cabin for the communication room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG, thank-you so much barbex for beta-reading this monster of a chapter! I don't know how you managed it so quickly, especially being on holidays! <3 <3
> 
> As always, I ADORE your comments <3 They give me life and seriously make my -week-


	20. SPECIAL: Ashley/Liara

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ashley checks on Liara, and they have a little chat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is focused on Ashley and Liara, with only a slight appearance from Shepard. Sorry if that's not your thing, but these two demanded I write it xD

Ashley sat in the medbay, docilely allowing Chakwas to check over her wounds from the mission, including the ones sustained from fighting the commander. She cast a worried expression at the door beyond, knowing that Shepard was inside, talking with Liara.

She didn’t even notice the rumbling emanating from her chest until Chakwas chuckled at her.

Her head snapped towards the other alpha, flushing at being caught out at projecting her...concern for the other woman. For a moment, Ashley wished that she had Kaidan’s control with her pheromones. Almost immediately after though, she felt almost guilty. The amount of work and sheer willpower that the omega had, and just what he’d probably gone through to achieve that…

It had taken her a while to admit to herself that Kaidan was a capable omega. It had taken even longer for her to see beyond his sex, to the actual _man_ that he was.

A sharp pain at Ashley’s neck brought her back to the present. She hissed at the doctor, who smiled apologetically.

“You and Shepard had quite the go at each other,” Chakwas murmured. She dabbed at the bite mark on Ashley’s neck, clearing out any possibility of infection.

“Not exactly our fault doc,” Ashley replied.

“Hold still.” Reaching up, Chakwas activating the medi-gel machine, carefully stitching the wound back together. She took a moment to examine the bite, then nodded. “All patched up Williams. Shouldn’t even scar if you apply this ointment every morning and evening.”

Ashley nodded, taking the offered tube and stowing it in her leg pocket. The relief she felt at not having the bite mark scar was almost palatable. A mark like that would make her job as an Alliance soldier far more difficult if she had to deal with civilian alphas. It would mark her as weak, as an alpha who had physically submitted to someone else. “Thanks doc.”

She frowned as a thought occurred to her; did she think less of Kaidan, knowing that one day, he might wear an alpha’s mark on his neck?

The door at the far end of the med bay opened, breaking her line of thought, and Shepard stepped out. He looked...tired. That expression quickly disappeared when he saw that she was still there.

“All checked out Williams?”

She nodded, “Yes sir. Won’t even leave a scar.”

Shepard nodded, “Good to hear.” His eyes found the mark at her neck, and he grimaced. “Look...Williams - ”

She cut him off with a raised hand. “No need to apologise Commander. We were both affected by what Benezia did to that rachni. Though…” she stopped for a moment, remembering that it was Shepard she was talking to. “Permission to speak freely, sir?”

He nodded, “Speak your mind Williams.”

“Letting the rachni queen go...I can’t help but think that there’s a reason they were hunted to extinction. Cutting her loose, it’s gonna come back and bite us in the ass.” She frowned. “Especially if she could influence us to go feral that easily.”

“Noted.”

Looking at Shepard’s face, she suppressed a scowl as his face went carefully blank, though her nose still twitched. She couldn’t even scent anything from the man, and for a moment, she found herself frustrated at the lack of comment and scent.

She huffed softly, biting off what she wanted to say, though she knew her pheromones would be telling the commander _exactly_ how she was feeling. “Thank you for listening sir.”

The commander nodded, turning to leave.

“Shepard…”

He stopped, turning with a question in his expression.

“Liara. How...how is she?”

His eyes crinkled slightly, the only show of emotion he allowed himself for the moment. “She said she was fine, though to be honest,” Shepard looked right at her, a small smile on his face and Ashley flushed at the realisation that he knew exactly how she felt regarding the asari, “I don’t think I’m the one she wants to talk to.”

With that, he turned and walked from the med bay. Ashley looked towards the other end, used to Shepard’s short dismissals by now. She waited until his musty scent faded, then walked towards the door that held Liara. Hesitating, she jumped when Chakwas spoke up.

“Go on, she’ll be waiting for you.”

Ashley nodded, gathering her courage, and requested entry to the back room. Taking a deep breath when it was granted, she entered the space beyond.

Liara was where she always seemed to be, huddled over the side bench working on a project or typing up her research notes.

“Oh, hello Ashley. I’m sorry I won’t be able to talk that much at the moment. I’m working on decrypting the data that Mo - Benezia left behind for us.”

Her eyes seemed dull, like a cloud has passed over them, robbing them of their bright sparkle and warmth. There was pain there, so much pain. It was just so visible, Liara wearing it like an open book.

Without thinking, the alpha moved forward, wrapping her arms around the other woman. Ashley held Liara tightly, nuzzling her face into the asari’s neck, breathing in her scent. The gesture would be lost on the alien, but she couldn’t help her instincts to _protect_.

“I wish I could make your pain go away. I know it’s selfish but...I’m here for you.”

The asari nodded, though she still seemed hesitant to discuss anything further. Her arms lay motionless beside them, making no move to return the hug.

“You’re not your mother Liara,” Ashley murmured. “The best of her lives on in you. Her determination, intelligence...her strength.”

Liara was silent for a long moment. When she did finally speak, it was so quiet that Ashley strained to hear. “...I didn’t get to say goodbye.”

The omission seemed to break down the last obstacle that held Liara from her grief. Liara grasped Ashley’s shoulders tightly, holding onto her as if the other woman was a lifeline. The alpha was more than happy to provide it, an unbreakable rock, while the asari’s walls were crumbling. Ashley wrapped her arms around her, rocking Liara slowly as her tears soaked her chest. A rumble sounded from her chest, an alpha’s croon, designed to soothe and calm.

Finally, the tears stopped, though Liara didn’t let go. The two just held each other, providing closeness and support. They stayed like that for a time, just listening to each other breathe, though the rumbling didn’t stop. Slowly, Liara let it relax her and she stepped out of the embrace, smiling in thanks. Liara smoothed the tears from her face. Ashley resisted the urge to kiss them away. “Thank-you, even though you must think me it narcisstic of me. You were the one that was injured on Noveria.”

Liara turned, looking at the healing bite mark on her neck. Ashley fidgeted, a hand moving up to cover the bite without thinking but forced herself to remember that the other was not human. “I’m fine, Liara. Nothing to worry about.”

“I’m sorry, I have offended you. I admit, I don’t know much about human customs.”

“It’s alright Liara, I tell you more later.” Ashley smiled, remembering her original goal of helping the other woman. “I’d like be able to help you remember your mother as what she _was_ , not how she...passed. Please, what was your mother like?”

“Kind and beautiful. I thought she was the most beautiful woman in the world.” A short smile graced her face. “She loved to wear yellow.”

Ashley snorted, smiling at that image. The Matriarch she had seen, the one draped in black, was definitely no longer that woman. “Remember that of her Liara. Honour that memory and hold it dear.”

Liara nodded. “It pains me that she will be remembered as a traitor. All she achieved over her lifetime...it will mean nothing now.”

“Those we love don’t go away. They walk beside us. Every day, unseen, unheard. But always near, still loved, still missed and very dear.” Ashley murmured, reciting the poem as it had once been told to her.

Liara blinked and Ashley blushed, bowing her head to break eye contact. “That was gorgeous, thank-you.”

“Yeh well…” she stammered, suddenly nervous, eyes darting anywhere but at the asari. “She’s with God now, oh...wait...the goddess? Wait, oh man, I’ve screwed this up.”

Liara laughed, the pain fading from her, and Ashley felt her inner alpha practically sing in joy. A grin spreading over her face.

“It’s alright,” Liara chuckled. “I am not offended.”

“That’s good, cause I don’t know anything about asari religion.” Ash confessed. “I mean, I’m religious which lots of people think is weird, cause you know, 'soldier in space'. But I look out upon the galaxy and just think, with all this stuff out there, so beautiful and interconnecting and I can't help but look and be like, how can you look at the galaxy and not believe in _something_?” She stopped and then blinked, realising she was rambling. “How about you?”

“Most of us, if we are religious, follow the siari,” Liara cocked her head slightly, as if studying Ash. “Though I guess the closest we have to your own monotheistic religion, is the worship of the goddess Athame. But I am curious though, how are you dealing with the revelation about the protheans?”

Ash nodded, “Yeh, a lot of shit happened down there on Noveria. I mean, you’re probably having a field day over the fact that Protheans had a hand in human evolution.”

Liara smiled, the gleam in her eyes returning as she spoke about her passion. “It is fascinating I admit, the ramifications it will have on my research...but still. Finding out that your race has been engineered? I couldn’t imagine finding that out, though it does make me wonder if the Protheans had a hand in any other races evolutionary path?”

Ashley sighed a little, trying to find the right words. Liara waited patiently. “I find myself wondering a little...did God let the protheans experiment on us? But then I thought, that maybe, if anything, the Protheans were probably just a part of God’s plan for us.”

Liara nodded, waiting for her to continue.

“We all have a place in the universe. And it is God’s plan for what happens and that we trust in the lord and his judgement.” Ashley blushed; she didn’t usually talk about her beliefs this openly. It had a tendency to make others uncomfortable. “My mother told me that. It...helped, especially when I think about the shit that my family has been through.”

“Tell me about your mother,” the asari murmured.

Ashley smiled, heart warming at the idea that Liara wanted to know more about her. “Strong, as military wives have to be. She raised my sisters and I, while my dad was away on deployment. My mother had a degree in planetary geology, she always wanted to go to space, and see new worlds. I think that’s what drew her to my dad.”

“Sounds wonderful.” Liara smiled at the human, and Ashley felt her heart beat a little faster. “Tell me about your sisters.”

“Well, I’m the eldest of four, my mother actually gave up her career to have us. I grew up helping to raise my little sisters; Abby, Lynn and Sarah. Sarah...she’s the youngest and still in high school.”

“You must love them very much,” Liara mused. “And miss them.”

“I do, but that’s part of the military life. We keep in contact as often as we can.” Ashley found herself studying Liara’s crest, wondering how the scales might feel under her fingers. Her fingers twitched, itching to reach out and touch, then stilled. “What about you?”

“I’m an only child myself, and was raised by Mother alone,” Liara continued, speaking so softly that Ash concentrated to follow. “The only thing I know of my father, is that they were another asari.”

“Is that unusual?”

Liara nodded. “Very much so, in fact I believe it was the reason that my father was not involved in my life. A pureblood like myself, is generally looked down upon by other asari. Though, it never bothered me much.”

“Yeh? Why’s that?”

“My mother was such an important figure in galactic affairs, and it meant high expectations from everyone. Those expectations outweighed any derision I may have faced over being a pureblood.” She chuckled suddenly. “More people would have hated the fact that I pursued archaeology, rather than politics, than my heritage.”

“Really?” Ashley felt her eyebrow raise slightly.

“As soon as I’ve been able to, I have spent my life away from my mother, away from that spotlight she inhabited. Quiet, solitude, alone in the dirt, studying the protheans. But they were just so fascinating! These wondrous, mysterious figures that have ruins all over our galaxy. How could I not want to decipher the puzzles they left behind?” Liara fidgeted, blushing again as she turned her gaze to the ground. “I’m sorry, this is probably boring for you.”

Ashley couldn’t help the bright smile that filled her face. This wonderful, beautiful yet shy, blue-skinned woman from beyond the stars, was worried about boring _her_.

“Liara, I can tell you right now, that nothing you could ever say to me, would ever be boring.” Ashley stopped, feeling her face heat up at the omission. “If anything, I would say that I’m the one who has taken up your time.”

The asari nodded. “Thank you, I appreciate that you came to check up on me. Can I join you for dinner later then?”

“Liara, there is nothing I would love more.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is back to mshenko, featuring a date and shenanigans on the Citadel.
> 
> Also, SMUT! (Let's make this fic earn its Explicit rating!) Yeh!
> 
> As always, your comments give me life <3 <3
> 
> _And thank-you so much to my beta, barbex <3_


	21. Down Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shepard blows off some steam by himself. Later Shepard and Kaidan get to know each other better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: smut ahoy! The first bit of the chapter is smut (with a tiny mention of mpreg).
> 
> This is very much a mshenko-centric chapter ^_^ So I hope you enjoy!

John had a rare moment of quiet to himself aboard the Normandy SR-1. Somehow, despite the exhaustion of Noveria, he had woken up before his alarm. Military training meant he was already wide awake, but he was reluctant to face the stresses of the day yet.

Shepard’s eyes wandered over to the side of his bed, where one of Kaidan’s armoured gauntlets lay. The omega had come by the previous evening to discuss the piece, thinking it was faulty. They had been able to maintain their professionalism while discussing the armour, but then John hadn't been able to resist, and pulled Kaidan in for a kiss. Kaidan had let him, and fuck, he had smelled simply divine, all honey and vanilla. Omega’s were known to be able to sub-consciously adjust their scents to appeal to individual alphas when a bond was forming. The fact that Kaidan was doing so made Shepard smile, feeling ridiculously giddy at the thought.

Fuck, he was worse than a teenage school girl with her first crush.

One of the perks of being CO was his own private cabin; no one else could see how much of a love sick alpha he really was. He had a reputation to maintain, damnit. Plus, a nice and slow personal session to start the day was infinitely more relaxing than a quick jerk off in the crew showers.

Reaching over to the bed stand, he picked up the gauntlet, inhaling deeply, and groaning at the scent that was just _Kaidan_. His cock stirred at the scent; honeyed notes peeking through the floral aroma of an unbonded omega.

One of his hands made its way down his military-issued jocks, caressing the soft skin of his hardening dick while he breathed in the scent of his omega. Pushing his pants down over his hips, his cock eagerly sprang free, already more than half-hard. His hand drifted downwards, playing with the loose skin at the base of his cock, where his knot would form. John groaned, the area already sensitive to his touch.

He let himself wonder at the size of Kaidan’s cock, whether it was big despite being an omega, or smaller, as most tended to be. It didn’t matter too much either way, but fuck, was he curious. Unlike alphas or betas, male omegas didn’t use their cocks to breed; it was practically a vestigial organ for them in that manner. Though it certainly didn’t mean it wasn’t sensitive. John found he loved the idea of sucking on Kaidan’s cock, of dragging his tongue up the underside from balls to slit, make him writhe and drip, beg for his alpha’s attention at his ass…

Sliding down his hand, Shepard lightly caressed his now hardened cock, enjoying the feel of it, the silky texture wonderful. He toyed with the foreskin, hissing as the sensitive bulbous head was revealed, precum gathering at the tip. He wanted to bury his face between those glorious ass cheeks, dine on the sweet slick that he knew would be there. John groaned at the thought of eating Kaidan out. What would the omega taste like? Man, what would he _smell_ like? When in heat, the ripe slick would be practically dripping out of his ass, his little hole desperately clenching to be fucking filled, and fuck! John groaned, pleasure spiking through his abdomen as he imagined pressing his face in deep, holding the omega down and feasting upon the heat-slick, until Kaidan would be whimpering upon his tongue, begging, all breathy and high-pitched, for his alpha to fuck him...

Groaning, his gripped the base of his cock, hips beginning to fuck himself into his hand. He dropped the gauntlet, no longer needing the scent to imagine the other man with him. The freed hand began to caress his shaft, and Shepard thoughts turned to how god damn good it would feel to sink his cock into Kaidan’s ass. How tight the man would feel, wrapped firmly around him, omega slick making it all too easy to sink deep inside. He was certain that Kaidan would fucking love riding his cock, would look so glorious doing so, his perfect body on display just for him...

Shepard felt his dick pulse at the thought and moaned, head dropping back on the pillow. The alpha spread his legs, hissing as he toyed with the sensitive skin around the head of his cock, the crown peeking through. He wondered what Kaidan would look like on his knees, presenting his plush little hole for his alpha, the omega’s face desperate as he’d beg for John’s knot. Kaidan would sound so beautiful, that husky voice whimpering as thick alpha cock slowly spread him open. John moaned as he imagined the small pucker of the omega’s ass stretch wide around him; heat-slick would make it so fucking easy to sink in deep. Groaning, John sped his hand up, gripping himself tightly, playing with the sensitive underside of the head. Kaidan would beg him for it, beg him to sink his huge cock deep in his welcoming body, inflate his fucking knot and tie them together. Beg his alpha to fuck him senseless and breed him up good and fat, so that no one else would even think of touching him…

John growled as his cock practically throbbed in his hands, his balls tightening in preparation to cum soon as the loose skin around the base began to fill. Pre-cum was making the friction feel so fucking good, his orgasm rapidly approaching. Shepard growled again, a fierce sound, imagining what he’d do to his omega next.

Hips fucked his cock into his hands and John wanted to bury himself in where he knew his omega would be soft and wet and receptive; bend his omega in half and pound into him until Kaidan screamed his name and was rendered mindless from the pleasure of being knotted by his alpha. He’d show Kaidan he was a good mate, attentive to the omega’s need despite being locked inside him; one hand would caress his omega’s cock while sinking his teeth into the back of that gloriously unmarked neck. His teeth practically itched at the need to make sure that none would dispute his claim over the other, leave his mark of ownership for all to see…

Shepard growled Kaidan’s name softly, shuddering as his orgasm raced through him, making sure he dropped one hand to wrap tightly around his rapidly inflating knot whilst the other still pumped his shaft. He let his head hit the pillow, growling as warm cum striped his belly, his hand a pale imitation of an omega’s body but it would do for now.

John breathed deeply, his hand dropped onto his side, the other holding his knot tightly, snorting softly as his still-hard cock flopped to the side. What a typical knothead fantasy; coming to the thought of marking an omega as his own. He frowned, feeling a momentary flash of guilt for referring to Kaidan as ‘the omega’ in his fantasy. Part of it was definitely the alpha rages he’d been subjected to, thanks to the beacon, his natural possessive tendencies roaring to the foreground despite him shackling those instincts firmly. As long as he treated Kaidan with the respect that his future bondmate deserved, that sort thinking would remain just that; thoughts that reared their head during his lust and nothing more.

Kaidan was not a possession, no simple _thing_ to be owned.

Shepard found himself chuckling. Even though he hadn’t thought of them in some time, he wondered what his former gang mates would think of him now. Head over heels and willing to leash himself to the so called ‘weaker’ sex. He snorted, banishing that thought. He would kill them if they got anywhere near Kaidan. Raising an eyebrow, John reevaluated that idea; _Kaidan_ would probably kill them if he knew exactly how the Tenth Street Reds had treated their omegas.

The sound of his alarm brought him back to the present aboard the Normandy. That life was firmly behind him now. They were due to dock at the Citadel within a few hours and he was looking forward to taking Kaidan out for lunch. He’d take that time to get to know his future bondmate better, beyond what the mission files stated.

He growled to himself as he looked down at the spunk that decorated his belly. How the fuck was he gonna get to the showers without the whole ship smelling that he’d jerked off?

\---

“Hey handsome.”

“Hey,” John smiled, looking up from the datapad as Kaidan wandered over. His eyes raked over the omega’s form, admiring the way the man’s muscles moved under his Alliance uniform.

The biotic however, was only half looking at him, half studying the view on the presidium. “I like that fountain. Very soothing.”

“I’m glad,” John grinned. He’d chosen this spot deliberately. A secluded little spot in front of the presidium lake. An artificial breeze ruffled the leaves in the tree above him, and the conversations from the people behind them, muffled to the point of being easily ignored. “Come here.”

Kaidan smiled, easily moving into John’s offered arms, resting against him on the grass. The alpha nuzzled his face into Kaidan’s neck, breathing in the sweet scent there. It also left the alpha’s metallic scent on him, making his suppressed inner-omega croon in happiness. He let it; opening himself up, making himself vulnerable to John was not a weakness. For a few moments they lay together, ignoring the bustle and chaos of life around them. Quietly enjoying just _being_. After the last mission, they damn well deserved a bit of down-time.

It was Kaidan who broke the relaxed silence between them. “Did you ever dream that it could be like this John?”

Eyebrows furrowing, John wondered what Kaidan was talking about. He’d just been enjoying holding him, the opportunity to just breathe. “Hmmm?”

“The citadel. Space. You know, it’s funny.” Kaidan snorted, looking out over the view, admiring the way different species intermingled freely with each other. “Humans spent so long trying to make it to the stars. Then we finally get out here, and the final frontier is already settled. And the residents don’t even seem impressed by the view. It’s just...normal, for them.”

“I knew you were a romantic. Say, is that why you enlisted? Sign on for the dream, securing man’s future in space. Or at least part of it?”

Kaidan huffed, twisting in John’s arms to look at his face, though his scent only broadcasted amusement. “Yeh, I read those books as a kid. Strong alpha’s going into space, proving themselves for the omega they loved. Or for, heh, you know, justice.” He sighed, looking off into the distance. “Maybe I was a romantic in the beginning, but then…”

“But then?” John frowned, one of his hands coming up to play with Kaidan’s hair.

“Presenting as an omega, Brain Camp...Vrynnus. A lot of shit happened.”

Shepard nodded, “Yeah you told me that before. I’m sorry you had to go through that.”

Kaidan shook his head. “Don’t be. It made me who I am today, and,” Kaidan’s eyes twinkled as he looked over his shoulder, smiling softly at the other. “It led me to you.”

John couldn’t help it, he leant in and gave a chaste kiss to Kaidan’s nose, licking it for good measure.

“John!” Kaidan laughed playfully, blushing as he wiped his nose clean.

The spectre just grinned. “You know, I’ve been curious. Before, you said that you dropped off the radar after Brain Camp. Before joining the Alliance...just what did you do?”

Kaidan’s eyebrows furrowed, frowning as his scent went sharply salty, off-put by the sudden question about his past. “Fuck Shepard...that’s...yeh.”

“Oh shit, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean…well fuck.” John let his arms fall, let the other have some space if needed. This was still so new, Shepard really didn’t want to fuck things up anymore than he probably already had.

“No, it’s okay. There is no way you could have known. It’s just...it wasn’t a good time for me.” Kaidan frowned, then breathed deeply, controlling his scent. “I want you to know though. If anyone should know, it’s you.”

Shepard just nodded, letting him talk in his own time. He couldn’t deny the warmth that spread through him as Kaidan grasped his hand, squeezing it slightly.

“I’ll be honest, even though you’ve probably read it in my service record anyway. Ever heard of red sand?”

“Yeh,” John grimaced. “Nasty stuff. I read up on BAaT, after what you told me. The fuckers put it in your food?” Kaidan’s eyes darkened for a moment, the memories of what came before, bubbling in his mind. John shuffled closer, holding the man to him. “Tell me about it,” he murmured.

Kaidan blinked, focussing on the alpha. He nodded, leaning into the embrace. “At first, I didn’t really realise it was in there. None of us did. But man, the feeling of being on that shit. Felt like we could take on the world. The power John...never felt anything like it before. We were all so focussed, the things we could do. It was amazing.”

“So, what happened?”

“Vyrnnus.”

“Ah.”

“Yeh. He cut down on the amount we got at one time, so instead of it being a steady dose, we started to get withdrawals.”

“Oh...fuck.”

“Yeh. Paranoia, extreme fatigue…” Kaidan snorted. “Hyperthermia.”

Shepard just shook his head. “...fuck.”

“Biotics run hot naturally...the red sand, it made us run hotter.” He grimaced. “I reckon more than a few kids were sent home in body bags because of that.”

“Fuck me…”

Kaidan chuckled, seeing an opportunity to lighten the mood. “At least buy me dinner first.” He winked and Shepard couldn’t help but laugh a little. He nuzzled his face back into Kaidan’s shoulder.

“And to answer your question, well, I was a pretty messed up kid to be honest. Left home without bothering to tell anyone, didn’t really care about much, except the next hit of red sand for a long time.” He sighed, seemingly focussed on the way the water rippled outwards from the fountain. “It became all I cared about. Met some people who said they wanted to help, gave me my next hits in exchange for being muscle. Eventually though, the amounts started getting smaller and I became more desperate. Found myself on Illium, you know, that asari colony planet near the Traverse? Still don’t know how I ended up there, truth be told. My memory is still full of holes about my time there, something I’m actually grateful for. Got picked up by batarian slavers somewhere along the line, unfortunately not entirely unusual for someone in that situation. No-one out there cared about some biotic kid, addicted to some drug that they couldn’t pay for.” Without noticing, Kaidan had begun to massage his wrists, as if he could feel the omni-rope around them.

“Fucking batarians,” John growled, eyes flicking from Kaidan’s wrists to his face, hating the way Kaidan’s scent remained neutral throughout the entire monologue. He reached out, taking Kaidan’s hands in his own. “If I ever meet those sons of a bitches, I’ll kill them.”

“Don’t worry, they’re already dead. But, as far as I see it, what happened to me…” Kaidan stopped, brows furrowing as he tried to find the right words. “They did what they had to do, to survive, same as me. I didn’t exactly put up a fight.”

“From what you told me, you couldn’t exactly put up a fight either. No one in their right mind, would willingly become a batarian slave.”

Kaidan chuckled, “Different world out there John, and like you said, I wasn’t exactly in any sort of right mind. Besides, I got lucky. Not many do. The ship I was on got intercepted by an Alliance vessel, the slavers killed, and we all got released. The Alliance had my file on record, courtesy of BAaT, so I got shipped straight home. My parents...well, they got me to therapy, got me the help I needed.”

He looked at John, studying the other’s face. “You know, you’re really the first person I’ve told this to, that I haven’t _had_ to. My parents, the Alliance recruiter...I had to tell them. But you...you know, I’ve already dealt with this part of my past, moved on already. It’s good to be so open though. I guess I was worried that you’d look at me differently, if you knew...”

Shepard shook his head. “Have I ever told you, just how fucking amazing you are Kaidan? The things you’ve been through, the shit you’ve overcome. A lesser man would be dead, or worse.”

“No worse than what you’ve been through I’m sure. But, yeah, you know, back then, never would have dreamed that I could end up here.” Kaidan smiled, letting his pheromones turn sweeter, broadcast his fondness for the alpha. “I’m not looking for ‘the Dream’ John, not anymore. I just want to do some good out here. Meeting you, well, that’s just a bonus.”

John smiled, breathing in the omega’s scent. Yeh, he was hopelessly, utterly taken in by him.

“So, how’s the uh, beacon therapy going?”

John growled softly, the question bringing him back to the present. “Lots of breathing. Finding your inner fucking centre. That sort of shit.”

“Yeh? Sounds like fun.” Kaidan chuckled.

Shepard raised an eyebrow. Kaidan’s face smoothed out, becoming perfectly neutral as did his scent. Then, his eyebrow twitched before breaking back out into a grin. “Welcome to my world, _commander_.”

“Oh?”

“Yeh, the stuff Chakwas and Ashley are helping you with. The meditations are what I do for my biotics. Just you wait until they start you on the pheromone stuff.” Kaidan whistled low, shaking his head. “Don’t miss that part of my training.”

“Really?” Shepard blinked. “It’s similar to omega officer training?”

“Yeh, they spray you in the face with different types of pheromones until you adjust and can just sort of, you know, shrug them off or ignore it.”

“Huh...I didn’t know that.” His forehead crinkled as he frowned. “Why didn’t I know that?”

Kaidan shrugged easily. “Let’s just say there is a reason that there aren’t a lot of omega officers in the Alliance. Most people aren't suited for that level of control.”

Shepard frowned. Fuck...what would happen if _he_ couldn’t take it? They’d barely started his therapy, Chakwas only using light synthetic pheromones to help calm him during the meditation sessions. What would happen when she moved onto the harsher pheromones? The ones designed to make him aggressive? Would he just end up hurting someone? What if that someone ended up being Kaidan? Hell, he’d already put Ashley in the infirmary...

“Hey, you alright Shepard?” Kaidan murmured, eyes studying his face. Shepard smiled when he realised that Kaidan was releasing his own calming pheromones, helping him relax.

“Yeh, I will be. Though I was wondering,” John reached out, tugging a blue hoodie, spectre symbol on the side, out from his bag. “I was hoping you’d wear this with me, on the citadel. While we’re here together...”

John held the jumper out, and Kaidan could smell it already; it smelled of metallic musk, Shepard and _alpha_. He licked his lips, wanting it on himself, heart beating faster at the suggestion. Fuck, he was being a total bloody stereotypical O, going all gaga over his alpha’s scent. Next he’d be ranting about the size of Shepard’s knot... “Feeling a bit possessive are we?”

John flushed. “That transparent am I?”

“Well, you are an alpha, but it’s okay,” Kaidan smirked, leaning in closer, to whisper in his ear. “I don’t mind being off-limits to others.” It had taken him a little bit to accept that, he had gone so long to establish himself as his own man.

“It’s okay if you don’t, I mean, I - ”

“It’s alright. I’d love to wear it.” As nonchalantly as he could, Kaidan took the offered hoodie, sliding it on. John’s nostrils flared at the mingling of their scents on the omega; _his omega, mine, no one else can have him, I'll kill anyone who dares to_ -

John shook his head, breathing in deep, just like Chakwas had instructed him, quelling his hyper-instinct to _possess_. It was already getting easier to manage the more minor flare-ups. He supposed it was comforting knowing it wasn’t his fault they were happening, it was the beacons, but it _was_ his duty to manage them.

Kaidan smiled softly, reaching out, laying his hand on Shepard’s cheek, rubbing his thumb into the skin there. The alpha jumped slightly, but smiled at the gesture. Rubbing his cheek onto the hand had a nice effect of leaving his scent on the biotic, a small action that also helped to quell his hyper-active instincts.

“Go on,” the omega murmured. “If it helps.”

A sharp inhale told Kaidan just how much that permission helped, and immediately found himself pressed up against Shepard, the alpha rubbing his cheek over his. He’s breathless, resisting the urge to moan at the sensation of his alpha pressed up against him, rubbing his scent on him. It gave his inner omega a feeling of being complete. Easing an ache inside of him that he had ignored for a long time. Without really noticing, Kaidan’s chest rumbled, a deep purr sounding.

“I’d really like to kiss you right now,” John murmured, his voice deep and husky, pheromones subtly changing, earthy cloves mixing in with the metallic. The sound of Kaidan’s purring, the fact that the omega was purring because of _him_ , was heady.

“Please,” Kaidan replied, his purring sub-vocals intensifying for a moment before tipping his head up, mouth opening for the alpha. The other’s scent was intoxicating, something he had denied himself for a long time, focussing on his role within the Alliance. He’d only had sex with betas in the last few years, keeping himself strictly away from alpha advances. But that _scent_...it had been a long time, but he can feel himself responding; ass throbbing, his own pheromones reciprocating in kind.

Despite the desperate scents that both of them projected, the kiss itself was soft. Just a brush of lips together, no dominance battle between them for the moment. Kaidan shivered and pulled John as close as possible, his inner omega crowing with glee as he could feel the press of Shepard’s arousal into his thigh. John opens his mouth with a groan, and Kaidan takes the invitation, sliding his tongue inside. It was a dominant gesture, and one that Shepard allowed, his inner alpha enjoying the press of his omega against him, allowing the other man to control the kiss, control him.

The biotic broke the kiss, sliding down to kiss at John’s neck, nuzzling the scent gland there. He nipped at the sensitive area, grinning at how Shepard’s hands clutched at him desperately.

“Fuck! Kaidan!” John growled playfully, pushing the other off, holding him at arm’s length. “You want me to lose control here? Cause I’m trying _really_ hard not to.”

“Yeh? Just you wait for when Chakwas gives me permission to join you in your therapy.” He waggled his eyebrows, laughing at the scandalised look on John’s face.

Grunting, Shepard rolled his eyes at the suggestion. He wasn’t really looking forward to it, truth be told.

Kaidan snorted, shaking his head. “Really? Too good for us omegas?” The words would have stung if not for the citric scent of amusement from the other.

John grinned, moving back into Kaidan’s space, nipping his nose before pulling the omega into his lap. “Can’t be too bad. Gave me a badass like you.”

Kaidan rested his forehead on John’s, arms lightly cradling the other, wiggling his hips while on top, enjoying the rumbling sub-vocals that Shepard let loose when he did so. “Hmph, the things you say John.”

They stayed there, soundless, except for the rumbling sub-vocals for a time. John buried his face into Kaidan’s chest, breathing in their scents mingled together. Kaidan rested his head on Shepard’s, caressing the stubble on his scalp.

“Thank-you Kaidan.”

A soft whisper breaks the silence, but not the embrace.

“What for?”

“For being with me. Putting up with me.”

“That's what bond-mates are meant to do.”

“Bond-mates?” John perked up, loving the title already.

Kaidan flushed. “I know we have a little bit to go, before that, but it’s already starting. Can’t you feel it? Smell it?”

“Yeh. Never thought I would though. You smell so good, all the fucking time Kaidan. It’s driving me crazy.” John nuzzled Kaidan’s throat, where he would leave his mark when Kaidan allowed it.

It already smelled like home.

A beep from Shepard’s omni-tool made the both of them groan. John called the message up, frowning when the orange text blurred slightly. Blinking, he sighed when he saw it was a priority one. He flashed a look of apology at Kaidan, before accepting the call.

“Pressley, Shepard here. Over.”

_“I’m sorry to interrupt Commander, but I’ve come across a small issue. Switching to a secure channel. Over.”_

“Acknowledged. Over.”

_“General Septimus, a retired turian general, is threatening to release information regarding the asari consort, Sha’ira. Some of the information that he’s threatening to release, contains possible information from Alliance officers that have seen her in confidence.”_

Shepard groaned, “What kind of fucking idiot does that?”

_“She is on the list of approved therapy options in the Alliance. Just an expensive one. She has a history of strict confidentiality with her clients.”_

“So let me get this straight, she and this turian were friends, he stole information from her and is now threatening to release it because…?”

_“As far as I’ve been able to find out, the general wanted Sha’ira as a personal companion.”_

“...this is a lover’s spat?”

_“Not even that. Sha’ira turned Septimus down.”_

“Oh for fu - ”

_“I’m sorry Commander. I wouldn’t have contacted you, but Sha’ira insisted on only speaking with you. Anderson wants you to clear this up asap.”_

“I understand.” Shepard frowned. Looked like his date with Kaidan would have to be postponed. Again. “I’ll take care of it. Shepard out.”

“Sounds pretty serious,” Kaidan murmured, concentrating on producing his calming pheromones. “Need some backup?”

“The joys of being the commanding officer.,” Shepard growled, feeling agitated despite the floral scent. “I’m sorry, we were supposed to be able to have this time together…” He stood up, reaching out a hand to help Kaidan up. His heart fluttered when the omega accepted his help.

“It’s not a problem. Besides, doing this sort of stuff is what a bonded military pair is meant to do. Plus, I’ve heard of Sha’ira before. She sounds...dangerous.” Kaidan looked towards the financial district, frowning as he did so.

“Why Kaidan, are you worried about her getting her feminine wiles into me?”

Kaidan growled at him, and Shepard laughed, “You are!”

“I’m serious John. I mean, people say she’s a professional, but that she also has great political influence. But how?” Kaidan frowned. “How can she be that influential if she isn’t using those secrets somehow?”

Shepard snorted, the slightly salty pheromones from the omega irritating his nostrils, but making him grin. He took in the sight of the omega striding off, still in _his_ hoodie and grinned. “Fuck, you’re adorable when you’re irritated.”

“She’s a Mata Hari if I’ve ever seen one,” Kaidan growled, stalking off towards the far side of the presidium, a slight scent of irritation following him.

John jogged, catching up though taking in the other’s words. “I know, I get what you’re saying. You know, you have really good grasp of politics Kaidan.”

Kaidan snorted, slowing to let Shepard catch up, “Thanks, I think.”

“I mean it.” Shepard looked up as they strode towards the financial district. “Growing up the way I did, barely learning basic reading and writing. Finding food was a bit more important than watching the news.”

The biotic’s pace slowed slightly, as he frowned, mulling that piece of new information over.

“Hey, it’s alright. Caught up enough to get through officer’s training. Hell as it may have been. Always said the paperwork is the worst bit of the job.”

“Hey, you know,” Kaidan chose his words carefully, “If you need me to take a load off your shoulders, I’m more than happy to take on some your mundane reports.”

“It’s alright, got a VI to help out. Besides, Anderson drilled my ass in reading and writing once I enlisted.” Shepard grinned. “Come on, the quicker we find this asari, the quicker we can back to enjoying some time off together.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed ^_^ your comments fuel me! Revive me! They mean the world <3
> 
> Thank-you to barbex for beta-reading <3
> 
> The gorgeous fanart is from juls_art and can be found [here](http://blueteaparty.tumblr.com/post/170701338725/juls-art-commission-for-blueteaparty-of-john).

**Author's Note:**

> Thank-you for reading. Please tell me what you think <3


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